Hoarding and filthy house of mother

[Hoarding]

My mum has always been a hoarder but it’s got significantly worse in the last 10 years. Hoarding newspapers, envelopes, food scraps (nothing is allowed to be thrown, everything will be reheated etc) tiny bits of string, foil etc. You get the idea. It’s got so bad to the point where the house is actually filthy, like properly gross (think fruit flies on literally everything, food remnants caked into the floor, maggots etc) Strangely some parts of house (the bits she doesn’t use basically) are vaguely tidy (but def not clean) like the living room.

She lives alone and to be fair used to have a cleaner but got rid of her about a year ago. I can safely say there’s not been any cleaning done on her part since.

Im pretty sure she’s got inattentive ADHD but I really don’t know how to help her.

for a bit of background into where her priorities lie, im
severely allergic to cats, luckily only if the hair gets in my eyes but my eyes basically completely close up and I get all wheezy. Well this has always been the case but we had 3 cats growing up. Yup, having cats was more important than my safety. There’s a long list of various things like that that have happened over the years.

Anyway, I’ve come down to stay with her for a week with my 2 kids as she’s always wanting us to come stay (but doesn’t actually want to engage with the kids) but my god, I’m scared for my baby’s health with the crap he’s accessing from the floor (he doesn’t crawl yet but he rolls around all over the place and obv everything goes in his mouth)

what I’m asking is AIBU for being really hurt by mum’s hoarding and filthy house? And if not, what can I do to help her? She’s well aware her house is filthy but she refuses to do anything about it.

YABU: her house is none of your business, leave her to it. Or actually try help her.

YANBU: that’s really out of order to treat you and your children like that.

I feel for you because my mother also had massive issues including animal hoarding when I had severe allergies

but for the love of god, get your poor kids out of there now and get some therapy for you to help you get some clarity around your relationship with her

Your kids being exposed to her squalor won’t fix her, but it will endanger them

No, but E-coli, salmonella and campylobacter are pretty dangerous and tend to hang around in the same conditions you've described.

but it’s the fruit flies that persist. I keep being told that fruit flies aren’t dangerous but are they??
Buy a couple of bottles of white vinegar, lid off, make the hole slightly bigger.
Fruit flies love vinegar, they get it but can't get out.

Everyone’s said the same to you about your responsibility to your poor children, and insightful posters trying to help you after you’ve asked how you can change things, but you don’t want to answer them so they can try.

Honestly: I think you’re using your mother’s situation to harm your children because you want attention over your childhood and your needs and your relationship. Out of fashion but it's very Munchhausen's by proxy.

You need to get yourself help before something happens and social services find out what you’re doing to them. Times have changed.

Why are you taking your kids into that environment. That makes you no better than her