Previous occupant of my house

[NoGoAway]

I have NC for this as don't want it linking to previous posts I have made.

I have just returned home and found a note from someone who says they used to live in my house. They are asking if I would allow them to show the house to their daughter who was born here. They are staying nearby for the next few days. They have given the years when they say they lived here which mean nothing to me. I know how long the previous couple owned the house but not whether they lived here the whole time or rented the property out. My initial reaction was to ignore the note as I thought it was probably a scam of some sort. I then thought even if they are genuine and staying locally, I don’t want them in my house. There was a mobile number at the top of the note which I tried ringing to say nope not convenient, but the phone is turned off with no facility to leave a message.

I know IANBU to not want random people wandering around my house but is this a scam I haven’t come across before now? I don’t want to spend the next few days on tenterhooks every time someone knocks at the door and nervous of opening it.

I did that once in Germany - husband's family are Holocaust survivors and lost everything including an amazing house that his g-g-grandfather had designed and built in a particular architectural style - all the floors, lights, stairs etc were all custom designed in this particular style (tied into the business they were in which was also lost).

The owners were amazing, welcomed me in and encouraged me to take lots of photos of all the original architectural details. I was incredibly grateful to them.

So may well be genuine!

Totally conflicted on this. On one hand someone could be on the Rob and casing the joint as it were, on the other it could be childhood nostalgia.

Personally I couldn’t take the risk or shake the feeling it could be bad intentioned and as PP said, why not look outside like the rest of us have to!

We had some previous occupants come round but they were still in touch with our neighbours so i knew the names and they asked the neighbours to ask first. They'd sold the house to the people we bought it off. They came round with the people who also used to live over the road, as well as next door. They'd all been neighbours while their kids were growing up so had lots of good memories and had just had a boozy lunch.

However it was convenient and I knew who they were.

Even if genuine it seems very needy and overstepping boundaries.
I have a couple of times driven past places we have lived as a family, I slow down and the kids make remarks- " Oh a big fence" or " they have cut the tree", It would never be appropriate to contact the residents.
Once you leave a place it belongs to the new residents.

I once went to my childhood home and it was an unsettling experience. However, I once had a delivery of something heavy so he delivery guys came in to the house and one guy said he'd been born in my house. It was really sweet and I'll never forget it. He didn't look around the property or even ask to and I in no way felt uncomfortable and we weren't robbed later on down the road. Like a PP, I would dearly love to go back to my grandparent's home, I can understand the wish to show a child where they were born. But you have to be cofortable with it and not mind your day being interrupted like this. The previous owners of our house planted trees for each of their grandchildren. I do kind of expect them to show up some day to see their trees!

I don't think you are being unreasonable, but my husband and his cousin went to look at the outside of the house where their grandfather was born and the owner invited them in.

I'd let them in - I would need to pay someone to take away most of the stuff in my house, so it's not like my collection of Fabergé eggs could be at risk.

I really don’t think it’s a scam. What would be their intentions if they came? To rob you or attack you? Unlikely tbh. But I don’t think I’d say yes, purely for the reason of feeling uncomfortable having strangers coming round your house. Surely it would be enough for them to just show their daughter the house from the roadside?

I often think of the houses I’ve lived in - ones I lived in as a child, and the ones my children lived in as babies. I have very fond memories of the houses. I can see them in my mind’s eye right down to tiny details.

But no way would I want to go back inside any of them! At best they’d be totally different inside and so not emotionally connectable, and at worst the current decor/look of them would somehow impinge on my memories and dilute or change them.

So, no don’t let them in. They can look from outside surely, and won’t gain anything from coming in. If you feel bad saying No, just tell them that the house has completely changed from when they lived there and they would recognise it.

Nobody is under any obligation at all to let strangers into their house if they are uncomfortable with it.

I'd rather be unkind and suspicious than be scammed. If that makes you sad then so be it. Crack on and be sad.

DH's grandma (quite naive and too trusting) was scammed in a similar way many years ago. Two men conned their way into her flat and one kept her busy chatting in one room while the other pilfered in another and stole her pension money which she had just collected from the post office.

I let a previous occupant in, it provided closure to her hopefully. as it had been her childhood home amd shed had a difficult time there. Some houses are special, ours is memorable for various reasons...
But OP it's totally your decision. I'm known for being trusting I guess bc I have so far had mainly positive experiences of life.

Ignore their messages and if they knock on the door, just say no. Give no reasons. If you do, it'll give them something to work on you with, to wheedle their way in.

@Topseyt123 I'd rather be scammed and kind and trusting. Yes within limits, I'm not a total pushover!
But come ooooon
...

I know their phone is off, are you able to just send a message saying sorry no, but here's a link to Rightmove.

@OhCrumbsWhereNow that's beautiful

Someone did this to us. We welcomed her in, had a chat. She was taking photos of the current owners of each house she lived in for an art project. It was a nice afternoon.

People are so paranoid on here

I had this happen. It was an old lady who'd spent her childhood there. I showed her around, gave her tea and cake in the garden, and she told me all about how it used to be.

A few weeks later she sent me a couple of photos of the house in her time, which proved very useful later on as I was able to evidence to the listings people that the changes I wanted to make were restoring the original layout.

My Mum and Dad visited the homes they lived in as children and showed them to us. Nothing fancy just cottages ( their fathers were Gardiner and Farm labourer) Viewed them from outside and took photos. On more than one occasion were invited in. I found my Grandmas last house being advertised as a holiday home and was able to see the inside photos on line. My brother looks periodically to see if the house he was born in has come onto the market and vows he will book a viewing. So it is not unusual for people to want to remember past happy memories and homes

Sounds like a pretty simple request, and something nice you could do for someone with very little effort.

I think you might be over thinking it.

We had someone come to my childhood home who’d been evacuated to our house during the war. He’d been given the attic room, chalet bungalow , and had really happy memories ! And in our current house, was aware of group of 20-somethings at bottom of drive. So I said hi, and one of the group was the grandchild of the original owners. She now lived in Oz but was passing through, and had such happy memories that they’d done a drive by. We had them in too. Was lovely. The garden had been her grandparents’ pride and joy, so she took lots of photos of the trees to show her parents.

I don't think it's a scam, just weird. Ignore the note. If they knock say they can look at garden. I wouldn't let them in.

Sorry no I wouldn't give access on my own. I lived in a house previously owned by a famous artist and we had people in the garden weekly. Later we were burgled after putting it up for sale.
It could be genuine nostalgia or not!

Maybe a simple request but not something everyone would be happy with.
Having strangers poking around my home oversteps my boundaries.
I am a private person, I work from home so lots of stuff and busy things going on.
Being "nice" is low on my agenda.

What boundaries are these? The boundaries if "decent folks" who know their place? And who has decided its "not appropriate"?

What narrow and dried up lives some people chose to lead.

Very interesting. Have been to see the lady opposite and she had no recollection of the couple ever living there. She is also still in touch with the people I bought the house from so rang them up. They had never heard of the couple either and were resident the whole time they owned the house. There won't be any house tour happening!