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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Previous occupant of my house

206 replies

NoGoAway · 27/08/2022 15:59

I have NC for this as don't want it linking to previous posts I have made.

I have just returned home and found a note from someone who says they used to live in my house. They are asking if I would allow them to show the house to their daughter who was born here. They are staying nearby for the next few days. They have given the years when they say they lived here which mean nothing to me. I know how long the previous couple owned the house but not whether they lived here the whole time or rented the property out. My initial reaction was to ignore the note as I thought it was probably a scam of some sort. I then thought even if they are genuine and staying locally, I don’t want them in my house. There was a mobile number at the top of the note which I tried ringing to say nope not convenient, but the phone is turned off with no facility to leave a message.

I know IANBU to not want random people wandering around my house but is this a scam I haven’t come across before now? I don’t want to spend the next few days on tenterhooks every time someone knocks at the door and nervous of opening it.

OP posts:
PeppaPigIsAnnoying · 27/08/2022 16:55

When we bought our house eleven years ago the seller mentioned that a previous owner had moved to America but had came back to see the house once or twice

I always thought to myself that if they came back whilst we were here then I wouldn't be letting them in. I don't know them!

gggrrrargh · 27/08/2022 16:55

@MumEeeee oh just read yours MumEeee that’s not a good experience!

Somethingneedstochange · 27/08/2022 16:57

I've looked at photos of my childhood home when I was told it was up for sale. I would never ask the owners to look around it though.

CanaryShoulderedThorn · 27/08/2022 16:58

I revisited my childhood home recently as it was on the market and we pretended I wanted to buy it. It was just gorgeous to see that the view from the kitchen window hadnt changed and id forgotten how the light fell across the fireplace. I left in happy tears.
I would let them in and be interested to hear their tales.

PriamFarrl · 27/08/2022 16:58

abblie · 27/08/2022 16:34

Why can't they look from outside lol

Can you imagine the post?

’There are random people outside my house pointing at it and taking pictures. What are they doing?’

First post: ‘make sure they don’t leave chalk marks. They might be trying to steal your dog’.

SisterAgatha · 27/08/2022 16:59

Yeah ours was not like that. Grandad went in, saw the downstairs and the room he would have had as a kid. Gave the lady a bottle of wine and some chocs and left.

Elphame · 27/08/2022 17:07

I've let people who used to own the house in.

It was absolutely fascinating to hear the stories of what it was like when it was 4 tiny cottages and I had no idea that our garage used to be a little one room general store.

Patchworkpatty · 27/08/2022 17:08

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 27/08/2022 16:39

Do you all really think that there are scammers who have run out of scams and have taken to hand writing notes and leaving their phone numbers for their victims?

I'm a bit sad for you that you live in such state of suspicion and fear of strangers.

I'd be quite interested in having a look round my childhood home, I know from the outside that it's changed quite a bit and it would be nice to see how it is now. I don't think that's so unusual.

This ^

PurBal · 27/08/2022 17:09

YANBU
But… my family home used to be a school during the war and we had numerous former pupils visit growing up. My parents always let them in. As an adult a business was set up there (beauty) and the owner showed me around, it meant a lot.
So I understand it from both sides. But it is COMPLETELY up to you.

oakleaffy · 27/08/2022 17:10

SpiderinaWingMirror · 27/08/2022 16:32

One of my happiest memories is visiting Lincoln with my Dad. We went to look at the house his grandparents lived in when he was a child. He knocked just to ask if he could take a picture of the outside. The kindness in inviting us in was just wonderful.
You don't have to, but I doubt it's a scam!

Ditto...
I was carol singing as a teenager with local Church Choir, and we stopped at the house I lived in as a baby /toddler..
I mentioned that to the people who loved in it, and they kindly invited me in for a few minutes..They had knocked through so different from what I remembered, but I was very grateful.
Another house I lived in, I look on Rightmove hoping to see it, but hasn't been listed yet.

MatildaJayne · 27/08/2022 17:10

I’ve had previous owners knock at the door to ask if they could have a peek inside. They were lovely, and it was really interesting.

My dad was born in a house next door to a pub, which became part of the pub’s back rooms and kitchen years later. The landlord was happy to let my dad, then in his late 60s, have a quick look around. It’s a nice thing to do.

oakleaffy · 27/08/2022 17:11

Edit : Lived in it, not loved in it...but hopefully they did love in it :)

earsup · 27/08/2022 17:12

I would like to visit the huge house we grew up in...10 bedroom....cold and damp...its all been done up nicely....but i do have lots of photos...even ones of mums wedding reception held inside and the gardens....so do have evidence so to speak !

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 27/08/2022 17:13

MumEeeee · 27/08/2022 16:54

We had this. Lovely lady walked by and told us about living in the house, her mum etc. chatted outside a while then invited her in to look around.

Total regret! 😂 Turned out she was rather nuts, quickly got teary about how the place changed then increased to wailing. Every room had been ruined, things her dad had spent ages on (in the 1970s!) we had pulled out. Her ‘memories were cast aside’. Almost had to push her out in the end.

Something similar-ish happened to us some 30 years ago. Me and DH moved into a little rented council flat (our first home,) and DH was at work and I was off for a few days, sorting the flat as we moved in just 2 weeks earlier, and hadn't had much time to sort anything. I had the chain on the door. (Thankfully!)

I was in the bedroom sorting the drawers, and heard 'clank bang rattle rattle.' I shot into the hallway, and went to the door that lead into the flat, and a woman was trying to gain access to the flat. She had a key and was letting herself in, but she couldn't get in, as the door only opened 4 inches or so, because of the chain on the door!

I said 'excuse me! Who are you and why are you trying to get into my home?' Shock She said 'my daughter Gail lived here for 10 years, and I was coming back to take a last look at before anyone else moved in.' For context GAIL left around 2 months earlier, so why she left it so long just baffles me. She (Gail!) also left it a fucking shithole. The council took 5-6 weeks to clean it and remove a load of rubbish she left, and do some repairs!

I said 'well it's not vacant! Me and my fiance have moved in!' Long story short, she wanted to come in and look around, and I said no. She seemed a bit aggrieved. FFS the woman's daughter had only moved out less than 2 months ago, and she would have seen her for the 10 years she was there! The woman started crying and said 'she had many happy years in here, it's so sad she had to leave. But there wasn't enough room for her and her new fella and all his stuff too...'

I didn't give a shit and just wanted the key, but she wouldn't give it to me, as her daughter had had it cut and it belonged to her. Hmm I said 'I am going now' and shut the door and bolted it from the inside. I rang the council, and explained what happened and they came and changed the lock.

Silly bloody woman! Hmm And what a nerve just letting herself in, when the flat hadn't been occupied by her daughter for 2 months!

oakleaffy · 27/08/2022 17:14

Thunderpunt · 27/08/2022 16:38

The family home I grew up in was a grade 2 listed building. IIRC there's some kind of 'law' (maybe an unwritten rule?!) that states you have to let previous occupants of listed buildings in to loom around.

I could have of course just invented that, but I seem to recall a lady coming to look around it when I was about 10 years old and my mum explaining that it was fine, because one day we would be able to do the same.

Never heard that! {Parents did live in a 'Listed' building at one time..the only person to ''Knock'' was the ghost, as a very specific time of day, and 'He' continued when a new person bought the old place.

TattiePants · 27/08/2022 17:16

I’d love a previous owner of my house to knock on the door. It’s early 1920s so I suspect the internal layout has changed quite a bit - no open plan kitchens, en-suites (or possibly even proper bathrooms) in those days - so I’d love to find out what it was like.

Morethanthis71 · 27/08/2022 17:17

Ah, my Uncle and I walked round to my Grandma's first house and the owner was in the front garden. We told them she lived there and they invited us in, it was amazing to see just how much I could remember from having visited her as a child. It was so special to both of us to have that opportunity. But totally up to you OP, it's your house x I tell my story though as I believe then that the sender of the note is genuine.

TattiePants · 27/08/2022 17:18

Posted too soon. A few of my neighbours have lived in the street for 50 years and we have records of who lived in which house going back to the 30s so it would be easy to check who they were.

Eastangular2000 · 27/08/2022 17:19

What an unkind and suspicious person you sound. It must be so wearing to spend your life in a state of suspicion and distrust. You can do something kind that could mean a lot to someone else at basically no cost to yourself bar some minor inconvenience and instead you choose not to and instead think the worst about strangers, how sad.

ElsieMc · 27/08/2022 17:20

I used to have many happy holidays at my aunt's lovely country cottage. I was nearby last year and I went and parked nearby (it is remote) with my grandson and we looked in the garden which is about 100 ft from the road. It was beautiful, with lots of lovely cottage garden flowers. As we looked in the elderly lady owner came out into the garden and gave us a rather suspicious look, for which I dont really blame her. The strangest thing was her remarkable resemblance to my aunt. It was like seeing her again as I remembered her in her garden and she died 15 years ago.

I dont know whether I would like to see the inside again because I like to remember it as it was.

I think you are wise to avoid being drawn into this op even though we had no sinister intent.

Whoactuallythinksthat · 27/08/2022 17:22

I would absolutely call them again and try to facilitate it. I’d love to see around my first home again and can’t see how this would be a particularly effective scam. Just make sure you’re not alone when they come by. Honestly, I’m depressed by how suspicious people are.

CannibalQueen · 27/08/2022 17:23

My husband's parents were born in India on a tea plantation. He found the right one and then asked if he could see the house. Owner was delighted and they sat on the verandah drinking tea. Hubby was delighted. Sadly the house burned down about 8 years later, so he at least got to see it.

Thistleinthenight · 27/08/2022 17:23

I was standing outside my old childhood home just before my mums funeral and the lovely owner came out and asked me in. What kindness.

Aquamarine1029 · 27/08/2022 17:25

Whoactuallythinksthat · 27/08/2022 17:22

I would absolutely call them again and try to facilitate it. I’d love to see around my first home again and can’t see how this would be a particularly effective scam. Just make sure you’re not alone when they come by. Honestly, I’m depressed by how suspicious people are.

Why does it make you a suspicious minded person if you don't want strangers in your home? I don't think these people are scammers at all, but I still wouldn't allow them into my home. I don't want strangers walking around my house, period.

NoGoAway · 27/08/2022 17:25

Eastangular2000 · 27/08/2022 17:19

What an unkind and suspicious person you sound. It must be so wearing to spend your life in a state of suspicion and distrust. You can do something kind that could mean a lot to someone else at basically no cost to yourself bar some minor inconvenience and instead you choose not to and instead think the worst about strangers, how sad.

My initial post was asking if this was a known scam. What exactly is unkind about that?

OP posts:
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