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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Previous occupant of my house

206 replies

NoGoAway · 27/08/2022 15:59

I have NC for this as don't want it linking to previous posts I have made.

I have just returned home and found a note from someone who says they used to live in my house. They are asking if I would allow them to show the house to their daughter who was born here. They are staying nearby for the next few days. They have given the years when they say they lived here which mean nothing to me. I know how long the previous couple owned the house but not whether they lived here the whole time or rented the property out. My initial reaction was to ignore the note as I thought it was probably a scam of some sort. I then thought even if they are genuine and staying locally, I don’t want them in my house. There was a mobile number at the top of the note which I tried ringing to say nope not convenient, but the phone is turned off with no facility to leave a message.

I know IANBU to not want random people wandering around my house but is this a scam I haven’t come across before now? I don’t want to spend the next few days on tenterhooks every time someone knocks at the door and nervous of opening it.

OP posts:
FavouritePi · 27/08/2022 17:50

No way would I allow this. I used to miss my childhood home so I went and looked outside one day. They can do this or check online for previous listings.

Someone had a missing cat and asked to look in our garden once, I said no and if they wanted to give me a description I'd look and check the shed.

Burglaries are on the rise and you'd be surprised at the lengths some people go to. Local to where I am, they are scoping out properties first and if caught/seen by someone, they are formulating a story to cover themselves.

HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime · 27/08/2022 17:50

@oakleaffy If you look on rightmove under House Prices for your old house the photos may well be on there.

My parents sold my childhood home 18 years ago and the photos are still on there from that sale. I was able to show my DD, we walked past it everyday on the way to school and one of her classmates lived in it but she liked seeing how my bedroom used to look. I was able to do the same to my grandparents house too and she found the decor fascinating (lots of brightly patterned carpets)

SpittinKitten · 27/08/2022 17:51

Thunderpunt · 27/08/2022 16:38

The family home I grew up in was a grade 2 listed building. IIRC there's some kind of 'law' (maybe an unwritten rule?!) that states you have to let previous occupants of listed buildings in to loom around.

I could have of course just invented that, but I seem to recall a lady coming to look around it when I was about 10 years old and my mum explaining that it was fine, because one day we would be able to do the same.

I'm in a listed propery and have never heard of anything like that!

GretaVanFleet · 27/08/2022 17:53

Just thought, I googled my childhood address and there happened to be a video on YouTube from an estate agents where it was last up for sale, it was so lovely to see. You could film it for them as a compromise and WhatsApp it to them.

Dinoteeth · 27/08/2022 17:53

Op I think I'd leave it, who doesn't have an answering service on their phone? That makes me suspicious. I'd like to think they were genuine just want a look sort of people but...

I'm sorry to hear about the posters Gran who ended up with an opportunist thief in the house and the woman who was upset to see the 1970s DIY efforts had been ripped out.

You just don't know who you'd be letting in or how many people will rock up you could end up with 4 or 5 adults that you can't keep an eye on.

Original poster
NoGoAway · 27/08/2022 17:53

TattiePants · 27/08/2022 17:18

Posted too soon. A few of my neighbours have lived in the street for 50 years and we have records of who lived in which house going back to the 30s so it would be easy to check who they were.

Thank you. This is really useful. The lady who lives opposite me has been there over 20 years. I will go over later on when she's home and see if she remembers the couple at all.

OP posts:
gogohmm · 27/08/2022 17:53

Sounds like a genuine request. I never asked to go inside but I took dd back to where she lived for the first 3 years and sat outside in the car, the current occupants saw us looking down the drive and came and invited us in (after me explaining we used to live there) that's Americans for you, less cynical than Brits

ITakeCharge · 27/08/2022 17:53

I understand your discomfort though I don't know if this is a scam. A sort of similar thing happened to us years ago. We are not in the UK. Trick or treating at Halloween is a big deal here and we were answering the door and handing out treats as usual when a woman tried to come barging in the front door saying she used to live in our house and wanted to look round it. This was not the person we bought it from, we had no idea if this was true or not, we had never met her before and did not want a complete stranger looking round our house checking out the security system and what might be worth stealing so we didn't let her in. She was very pushy about it, completely expecting us to just let her in with no questions asked.

Trinity65 · 27/08/2022 17:54

Eastangular2000 · 27/08/2022 17:19

What an unkind and suspicious person you sound. It must be so wearing to spend your life in a state of suspicion and distrust. You can do something kind that could mean a lot to someone else at basically no cost to yourself bar some minor inconvenience and instead you choose not to and instead think the worst about strangers, how sad.

Absolutely ^

Original poster
NoGoAway · 27/08/2022 17:56

WhereAreMyAirpods · 27/08/2022 17:41

There is a huge interest in family history and house histories. Quite often you will see a "celeb" on programmes like the One Show being taken back to their childhood home and sitting in their old bedroom or something. People on shows like Who Do You Think You Are will be taken to places where their ancestors lived and the present occupants are clearly more than happy to let them in.

You might not be interested in the people who lived in your house in years gone by, or your own family history, but thousands of people are. People regularly come to the UK from all over the world to trace their family roots and want to go to the churches where their granny was christened, walk the local high street, see the houses where people lived before they emigrated to Aus/Canada/US. Ancestral tourism is a huge, and growing, market.

Of course you don't have to facilitate anyone coming into your house but what's more likely - that it's some sort of elaborate scam to scope out what OP says is a very ordinary house to burgle it later, or that it's a genuine ex-resident. SOme people are just miserable and unprepared to put themselves out even just a little bit to make someone else's day.

If someone from the BBC contacted me I think I could assume it was on the level probably.

OP posts:
Eastangular2000 · 27/08/2022 17:56

MugginsOverEre · 27/08/2022 17:49

Seriously? Take a look at my post if you can find it. OP is right to be concerned as it literally happened to my grandma and many other people on the same estate that day. A young woman pulled the "I used to live here" trick and was actually a sneak thief taking advantage of a lot of elderly people. She stole hundreds and hundreds of pounds in cash and jewellery from various houses that day. Thankfully she was caught but all of my extended family are now very aware of this scam. Without proof of who they are then how could OP know they're genuine or just burglars trying their luck?

Show quote history

It is unfortunate what happened to your grandmother but it’s not really a comparable situation IMO.

Trinity65 · 27/08/2022 17:56

NoGoAway · 27/08/2022 16:39

I'm on my own for the Bank Holiday (partner is off doing an Iron Man thing) and the house is a tip. The thought of a mega tidy up when it's hot weather does not appeal.

Oh Please

What difference is it that your Partner is not there ??
You are rather Paranoid .. As are a lot on this Thread.

cowskeepingmeupatnight · 27/08/2022 17:56

Crikey, I didn’t know we were a nation so resistant to letting people in our homes! And so suspicious of people’s intentions. No wonder there’s such a loneliness epidemic. I don’t consider myself naive, but I’d happily have someone round for a cuppa if they used to live in my house.

gogohmm · 27/08/2022 17:58

Oh and she magically produced hot cookies and fresh lemonade, you couldn't make it up! Dd was seething that we took her back to the U.K. to live when she could have been brought up there!

shockthemonkey · 27/08/2022 17:58

I'm planning to do this next year when I visit a country I grew up in. I would hope the new residents would give me the time of day.

Of course when I write I will be adding details about the house that only a previous occupant could feasibly know about, and a bit about the neighbours at the time. That way they have a way to check that I'm genuine - within a reasonable level of certitude of course.

So I would allow them!

Stripedbag101 · 27/08/2022 18:00

Missing the point of the thread but there are clearly more home births than I realised!!!
I was j be one in a hospital and have never had a desire to visit it😂

Stripedbag101 · 27/08/2022 18:01

I was born in a hospital that should have read

MugginsOverEre · 27/08/2022 18:01

It is unfortunate what happened to your grandmother but it’s not really a comparable situation IMO.

A woman (thief) gained access to my gran's house by claiming to have lived there previously is not comparable to someone asking for access to OP's house by claiming that they have lived there previously? Yep. Totes different. Yup.

WhereAreMyAirpods · 27/08/2022 18:03

Of course you're going to give it more credence if it's the BBC on the phone.

But what I'm saying is that there are thousands of ordinary people who have watched similar series about your past or your family history and want the same experience. Genealogists across the country are working with clients to put together bespoke tours taking them round places associated with their family's history - churches, schools, homes, farms etc. It is a massive, growing market.

Midlifemusings · 27/08/2022 18:04

We did that. A few years ago we were back near my father's childhood home after a family funeral and went by the house. We knocked on the door and the couple who lives there now gave us a tour. It meant a lot to my dad. The couple living there knew a lot of people my dad grew up with and they chatted for a long time. I think we live in an area where people are generally friendly and not suspicious of everyone (not a high crime area) so that likely played into why none of us thought twice about it.

WhereAreMyAirpods · 27/08/2022 18:04

MugginsOverEre · 27/08/2022 18:01

It is unfortunate what happened to your grandmother but it’s not really a comparable situation IMO.

A woman (thief) gained access to my gran's house by claiming to have lived there previously is not comparable to someone asking for access to OP's house by claiming that they have lived there previously? Yep. Totes different. Yup.

You said yourself that the woman was 20 and your granny had lived there that long so should have been suspicious. And that to have the opportunity to steal, must have either had an accomplice or granny left her alone in the house.

Alwaystheextchalter · 27/08/2022 18:05

My Uber driver dropped me off at home and said he used to live in the basement of my house. I’d always wondered if it was a flat as there was a tiled sink area and plumbing.

Knew he was telling the truth because of things he mentioned. But I thought what a coincidence. I definitely did not invite him in though.

Eastangular2000 · 27/08/2022 18:06

MugginsOverEre · 27/08/2022 18:01

It is unfortunate what happened to your grandmother but it’s not really a comparable situation IMO.

A woman (thief) gained access to my gran's house by claiming to have lived there previously is not comparable to someone asking for access to OP's house by claiming that they have lived there previously? Yep. Totes different. Yup.

A young woman hanging around your grandmothers estate, claiming to have lived in the house at the time you grandmother had been living their and your grandmother unfortunately let her in despite her story clearly being false is not remotely equivalent to someone dropping a note through a door with contact details asking if they may be able to visit.

Konfetka · 27/08/2022 18:09

My father was shipped out to New Zealand at the age of eleven - an orphan who had up until that time lived with his grandmother. His first trip back to the UK was 30 years later, I was 8 and remember visiting the house he had lived in with his granny. The kind couple gave us tea and got out the deeds; as I recall, the original house purchase price was £9!

MugginsOverEre · 27/08/2022 18:14

Nope, just turned round to speak to gran while her hands went behind her to clear the bedside tables etc. and one request for a drink of water. Gran never cottoned on that the girl was too young to have lived there because she had no idea of her age. She could have just looked younger than she was (police told us later she was 21). Either way, it's put me off letting anyone with a story into my house. Could be (and likely is) genuine. Doesn't mean we should take that chance though. There's a manor house I lived in when I had my first born and I would love to go back and show her it. And one day I will because it's still the B&B we started up and I could book a room. And if that ceases to be the case, I'll show her right move pics or old photos. I won't be asking to see someone's private home.