Not to give table to women with pushchairs?

[inghp]

Me and my boyfriend were in a Wetherspoons last week.
We had a booth and our food had arrived and we had a drink.
It was quite busy downstairs and two women with pushchairs came in..they had 2 little girls who weren't in pushchairs but walking ahead.
They were told there were tables upstairs and there was a lift available.

So my boyfriend (as we were eating ) said shall we give them our table and we go upstairs
I said no don't be stupid
(Bars in mind we were mid way through food and had drinks)
He wanted us to pick up our plates and go upstairs for a table so they could have ours.

It turned into us arguing -with him saying if that was you with a pushchair you would hope someone would be kind to you.
I said not when they are half way through lunch I wouldn't.
Aibu ?

We're one of the women n child actually his ex mrs n his kid that he wanted to avoid?

Hope you're not in love with this spineless idiot?

OP, most people on the thread have accused your boyfriend of:

Being pathetic
He's people pleasing
He puts you last (zero evidence of this from anything you've said)
"You're at the bottom of his list, of people to be nice to"
He's a dick head
He needs to grow a backbone
He's a martyr
Idiot
Hero complex
Etc. etc. etc.

You've actually only posted a couple of things about him, so I agree with the pp upthread about the total vitriol towards him for something that thought was fairly innocuous, and probably just an attempt at being thoughtful.

Is the chorus of what a spineless, evil fucking dick he is justified? If he DOES put you last, that's an issue, obv, but I don't see it in your words so far, just pp's.

Is he a bit of an idiot in general?

He’s made it quite obvious that you don’t deserve any consideration in his quest to be a big hero.
What an arsehole!

It certainly isn't. He just wants to be seen as the big I Am by offering the booth. No consideration to the partner he is with.

This is interesting.

I knew someone like this (relative), and I always found it very difficult to understand why it felt oppressive and invalidating, because they were just being a "good person".

This particularly person came with other, less confusing, personality traits. So I don't see them anymore!

But I agree it is frustrating!

There's a lift and tables upstairs, so no reason at a why they need your table. YANBU.

A booth isn't even ideal for pushchairs as they would be left in the aisle in everyones way.

It's a pub first come first seated.

I wouldn’t expect anyone to move for a pushchair and I have one! I’ve bounced the chair up a flight of stairs or folded it when no tables downstairs (and no lift) available.

White Knight syndrome

He's obviously an avid MN reader as there's been lengthy threads recently on whether or not you should give up tables and plane seats. (I didn't realise being asked for your pre paid plane seat was such a common occurance!) Clearly he's taken the yes you should advice on board.

This!
Its covert Narc behaviour.
He rescues,looks the hero and you are the villain.
Bin!

No they really wouldn't. Especially when the food has been delivered to the table.

No one asked him to do this though.

Most people wouldn't be that considerate. He's one of the rare ones in the sense he puts others before himself.

Everyone but his partner, it seems. OP was eating.

My husband is considerate. he would absolutely give up his seat in the right circumstances. This isn't the right circumstances. And wouldn't it be awkward for the women as well? Waiting while you cleared your table? There was a lift!

This..
It probably stemmed from his childhood, {Not necessarily his fault at all, nut that of his parent/s or teachers? Trying too hard so people thought he was 'A nice boy'...and it perhaps carried on into adulthood?
A person I know ironically said last night that they have a fear of what people think of them..definitely stemming from their childhood.

He doesn't have to continue behaving like this...Ironically, no one really respects a 'People pleaser'.

I think people are over analysing this. He’s probably the type of guy who without thinking gives a pregnant lady his sit on the bus or helps a mum get a pram down off a train, but he’s taken those normal things and gone a bit overboard with the idea of being helpful. He just needs to rein it back in and not forget his common sense.

YANBU at all. Your food would have been cold by the time you had settled in at the new table.

I doubt very much the mums with pushchairs expected anyone to move. There was a lift as you said.

Ugh! He wants the glory and adulation of being the hero. WHAT PEOPLE THINK is the most important thing to him except "people" no longer includes you OP. You seem to just be an extension of his heroic self. My father was a bit like that and it drove me crazy. He'd go out of his way to do things for people he barely knew whilst his own wife and daughters got the bare scraps of his time and resources. He'd also volunteer us to do favours for others and then lap up the thanks and praise for himself. Grrrrr!!!

No they wouldn’t. MN hates anyone doing anything for someone else. In MN world it’s everyone for themselves and fuck anyone else. They put themselves out to do it.

He wants everybody to think he is a nice guy because it gives him an ego boost and allows him to think of himself as a nice guy. But he is not nice to you (the person closest to him). This is actually a narcissistic trait.

It's thoughtful but as a parent of a child in a pram I absolutely wouldn't expect or accept the offer of someone mid way through a meal and drinks their table.