The "anything is possible" brigade

[Arkarians]

Anything is possible with enough hard work! Does anyone else find this phrase annoying as fuck?

You can become a billionaire like Elon Musk apparently, if you just simply work as hard as him.

Anyones child can excel in school, get top marks on all of their GCSEs and get into Oxbridge, if they bothered to work hard enough.

Anyone can achieve a high-flying career as a lawyer or doctor, if they just work hard enough.

The implication is that people who aren't massively successful lawyers, doctors, business owners, CEOs, etc are lazy fucks who couldn't be bothered to put the effort in? Not to mention how your background and/or current circumstances are a massive factor in success too.

Surely it doesn't matter how 'hard' you work, you could work 12 hours a day until the day you die and still never achieve Elon Musk level success. If you don't have the creativity, the right ideas, the luck and all the physical capacities for it, it will never happen.

Is there something Un-PC about acknowledging that people have different abilities, circumstances, levels of intelligence, etc, and not everyone is built for huge success?

YANBU and are 100% right OP.

I hate the devaluing of what are really important practical jobs. As others have said - someone has to do them.

Another irritating thing - I heard some government minister on the radio talking about how people should look for higher paid work if they aren't satisfied with their wages. Well. I am an NHS nurse at the top of my pay band - I could indeed earn double or triple my hourly rate by doing agency work. Do they really want us all to do that? At what cost to the NHS? Fucks sake.

Yep!

What choice do our children realistically have? I keep telling my dc to work hard to get good results at school as that will give them choices.
Hopefully they can then enjoy what they do as well as earning money.
I'd always push 'work hard' as not working hard will limit them.

Lots of (predictable) replies that prefer to forget one crucial ingredient in the argument "everything is possible": reality. For example, for many growing up in poverty (allowing for much of the abuse and neglect that often goes with it, behind closed doors) there are empirically proven adverse consequences for their sense of self which have a stunting, stifling impact on their capacity to function. When they are then expected to compete optimally in areas like education and career, they are often at a crippling disadvantage compared to people who have been fortunate enough to not have had to deal with such hamstringing conditions in their backgrounds. Many of that type of people then like to come on MN and make pronouncements that belie the stench of their denial about what it takes for many to make the most of 'life opportunities'. If it wasn't so cold and absurd, it would be laughable. But they won't be told. Part of what gets them through their up-themselves days is pretending they've had it hard and made an impressive success of themselves.

And actually, in a sense they have. Life is fucking hard. It's just that it's a lot fucking harder for some, like you wouldn't believe. Unless you really looked. But it doesn't suit many people to look hard enough at the reality others have to survive. (And of course, so many don't survive for long.)

@AnnaFri I get the feeling you're the sort who tells people to "Use the tradesman's entrance '. I am well qualified, but wouldn't be remotely interested in becoming a CEO at Natwest.

Nope

And why even mention not wanting to be the CEO of NatWest

I have 8 GCSE’s grade c or above and I earned £203k last year. Sheer hard work, stamina and ambition. I’m not done yet. I will work for another 15 years and have more to go after

lets teach our children ambition? Cost of living increases, so let’s cut our expenses and consider how can we make more money?

Everything is possible. It might not be in a professional capacity. But you could do am dram , or local theatre etc etc.

It's people's own limitations that often restrict them.

Watching the Paralympics should have taught is all that.

Imagine saying. I have no feet I can't be a runner. Others do make it.

A lot is saying yes to opportunities and determination.

This what you mean op?

It's not an either / or situation, imo.

It's not just about circumstances, luck and privilege. Nor is it just about working your arse off.

It's the right combination of all these.

Someone born into money and clearly privileged isn't going to make anything of their own career by sitting on their arse all day. They need the motivation and drive to succeed to go with it. Equally, someone born into poverty with nothing of material value and parents who do not support and encourage them, but with a huge drive and ambition to succeed, is likely to be up against it and going to struggle because they don't have the circumstances that make these things possible.

I was born into poverty in a one parent family after one of my parents died with I was young. We had nothing. I remember wall paper falling off the walls, empty cupboards, hand me downs, holes in clothes, and damp in all the rooms of our home. I went to a public school that wasn't in a great area. I then became a single mother at 20 years old, just after enrolling at university.

I now have 3 degrees including a PhD and I earn well above the national average.

So what got me there? I was up against it from the start and certainly not born into privilege.

A combination of my circumstances over which I had no control:

• a parent who pushed me to achieve academically and praised me for my school achievements. I got the message from a young age that it was important to do well at school.

• a parent who loved and nurtured me

• no abuse or neglect

• no disabilities

• intelligence

• family support with childcare as a young adult to enable me to study for my degree

And factors over which I did have control:

• an internal drive and determination to succeed, despite my circumstances.

• multiple sacrifices, personal and financial, through my 20s to make my career dream happen.

Despite the setting circumstances, I wouldn't have made it to where I am now without the latter two factors.

And recognition of how important they are. Some people look down on the jobs/workers we actually need. Drives me nuts. Those people need to learn some respect for what's important.

Greatnesses can not be achieved without hard work but hard work doesn't necessarily mean you will achieve greatness.

What annoys me most about it, is the people who believe it set themselves up as superior, yet lack the intelligence to see through the blatant manipulation and dishonesty.
The idea is both illogical and irrational.
If, for example every single employee in a company believed this and worked over their hours, upskilled themselves in their own time etc, unless the company intended to be unviably top heavy, a tiny minority of those people would 'get on'. Even moving companies wouldn't help greatly, given there are a finite number of top jobs to go around. So the vast majority of people working extra hard will benefit only their employers.
Yes, a small percentage will reap personal reward, and given this, a more honest message would be 'work extra hours, make sacrifices, and you have a a very small chance of success in a competitive world, where if you do not have certain existing privilege, the odds will be stacked against you. With that in mind, make your choice.'

Safety net & whether you have one makes a huge difference. Knowing you have "family support" does help with ambition & risk because failure doesn't have to be ruinous.

I also think it's getting harder for young people to do better then it was for me. Higher house prices for good schools, more competition for uni & jobs etc.

The people I went to school with who worked hard have, in general, achieved lots and earn lots. Those who mucked about generally don't/haven't.

"It is unskilled

anyone could do it if they had to

Hence the phrase used to describe it"

Perhaps you should try doing some caring.Let's see how long you last before you or they get hurt.

YABU in my opinion.

Needing "luck" is usually defensive reasoning by an individual for not having achieved more and I think misses a fundamental point.

Whilst not everyone can be a CEO/Consultant/Dentist/Ballet Star/fantastic parent/(anything someone considers to be a "success" in their minds), I think it's a generally accepted and proven fact that people can usually achieve more through hard work.

"More hard work" of course needs to targeted such that's it's helping you develop and progress, not just more of the same which won't help e.g. if I'm working as a cleaner, cleaning more homes per day is unlikely to help me progress (although it may provide more financial ability to allow me to fund my development through courses etc), however spending time in the evenings studying and / or networking and / or building a second income stream might.

If I'm honest, I often wonder why people say "more hard work" doesn't pay off when most people have simple examples from their own lives that prove it does:

1. study more for exams, generally get higher mark
2. exercise more, generally get fitter
3. take on extra duties / responsibilities at work that give you learning opportunities, generally get given more and more in time and then get promoted
4. work harder at a diet, generally achieve health goals quicker / more reliably ... it's obvious no?

Note: I'm still not saying anyone can be anything (some of that is down to some luck and circumstance, but generally the vast majority of people can achieve more by working at it).

I suspect this won't be a popular opinion but hey!

@maddy68

Peoples own limitations are exactly what makes it silly for thinking 'anything is possible'

Peoples brains often don't work in certain ways.

I don't have a brain for maths, so despite all the lessons and training probably couldn't be CFO or a data scientist.

People have limitations, maybe not to the level where those with low self esteem think they do, but they exist

That's true of most people I know too. Except for my sister. She dropped out of school aged 15 and got no GCSE qualifications. She started using drugs and sleeping with men in their 20s, and even was arrested aged 16 for stealing my dad's car.

She now earns more than double what I earn - close to 100k - as a company director. She is hugely successful and drives a brand new top of the range sports car.

On the other hand I studied my arse off and archived straight A grades and have numerous university degrees. She still out earns me by a country mile!

So I guess what I'm saying is ... she turned it around as an adult, when teachers and the entire family had written her off in her late teens!

Everything is possible. It might not be in a professional capacity. But you could do am dram , or local theatre etc etc.

There's a world of difference between a hobby and a career. Am dram doesn't pay. You can't live on no pay.

Imagine saying. I have no feet I can't be a runner. Others do make it.

By being in places where people with disabilities, particularly children are well supported, where there a groups & clubs, coaching, grants. If it were that easy every person & their budgie would be at the Paralympics.

@Wheredoestheblackfluffcomefrom

Ambition for what?

I've no interest in teaching my kids to be higher earners.

Most people who make lots of money are exploiting others in some way.

YANBU.
Did 15 seasons of the X Factor teach us nothing?
No matter how hard you work at singing, and how much you want to be a singer for most people it’s just not meant to be 😂
The same goes for many other aspects of life.

Oh OP, you are most definitely NOT being unreasonable.

I hate all the 'just work a bit harder and you'll make it' claptrap.

It's roughly the same bullshit as, "You didn't get [whatever goal] because you didn't manifest it enough." Manifest! What a load of old bollocks.

Makes me want to scream.

Yes - this highlights the difference between setting realistic goals and the unrealistic 'anything is possible' message.

Imagine the idea: 'I want to dance with the Royal Ballet'. I am dyspraxic and have a short-legged, stocky build. It isn't going to happen. A 'realistic goal' assuming I had the time and money would be to join a non-competitive adult dance group and just have fun. Which is all well and good, but one is not the other - and the 'anything is possible' message can blind people to the option of setting a realistic, modest goal within the general sphere of their ambition.

saying Anything is possible is misrepresenting the probability of ‘success’. But thinking you cannot do things with moderate probability reduces your chances further.

the challenge is to identify realistic goals and then the different options you could take to get there (there are usually more than you think!). Plus having a sensible backup plan.

So my child becoming a professional basketball player - v unlikely (as we are a short family). I would discourage this. My child becoming a professional sports person - that is a realistic goal - what sports could they be good at? Could they be a coach even if they weren’t an athlete?

and sometimes you realise that your goals didn’t give you the happiness you thought - I did a career change.