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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The "anything is possible" brigade

254 replies

Arkarians · 27/08/2022 09:24

Anything is possible with enough hard work! Does anyone else find this phrase annoying as fuck?

You can become a billionaire like Elon Musk apparently, if you just simply work as hard as him.

Anyones child can excel in school, get top marks on all of their GCSEs and get into Oxbridge, if they bothered to work hard enough.

Anyone can achieve a high-flying career as a lawyer or doctor, if they just work hard enough.

The implication is that people who aren't massively successful lawyers, doctors, business owners, CEOs, etc are lazy fucks who couldn't be bothered to put the effort in? Not to mention how your background and/or current circumstances are a massive factor in success too.

Surely it doesn't matter how 'hard' you work, you could work 12 hours a day until the day you die and still never achieve Elon Musk level success. If you don't have the creativity, the right ideas, the luck and all the physical capacities for it, it will never happen.

Is there something Un-PC about acknowledging that people have different abilities, circumstances, levels of intelligence, etc, and not everyone is built for huge success?

OP posts:
WishDragon · 27/08/2022 10:33

How much are todays children being fed the ‘anything is possible’ line?

You see it on shows like the X factor, some teenager who can’t actually sing being told by their family they’re going to be a star.

The X factor may be a bad example as it’s so staged, but you get my point. Hopefully.

Antarcticant · 27/08/2022 10:35

sst1234 · 27/08/2022 10:02

That’s why it’s called ‘risk’ taking. It’s not a risk if there is no probability of failure without fallback option.

Fair enough, but the flip side to that is people who take the risk and it doesn't work out - how many new businesses, for example, go bankrupt in the first three years? About 60% - you are more likely to fail than succeed.

Katsufatsu · 27/08/2022 10:35

AnnaFri · 27/08/2022 09:57

@Katsufatsu

You sure don't understand

As I clearly put intelligence plays a large part in success

Not success is dependent on intelligence

Although you might have helped prove my point Blush

There's no need to be rude, dear

Your comment just didn't read very well, that's all

AnnaFri · 27/08/2022 10:36

@Katsufatsu

Others managed just fine

But again, proving my point nicely Grin

lollipoprainbow · 27/08/2022 10:36

It's a crappy cliche ! There are those in life who are lucky and those who are not.

stopitstopitnow · 27/08/2022 10:36

maddy68 · 27/08/2022 10:10

Everything is possible though. Some people are less cautious , take more risks and say yes to opportunities

Except for many "everything" is not possible. It's not possible for DP to be an airline pilot, train or even a bus driver.....the law won't allow him to.

NovaDeltas · 27/08/2022 10:37

Meh. I dunno. I retrained and got a better job and am now a high earner. I wanted to lose weight and excel in a sport so I did that too. No magic. Just did it.

However trying to suggest this to others usually gets responses like 'oh but I can't ' or 'that sounds hard'. I joined various workshops and groups that aim to encourage, offer training and upskilling to out of work women, help them into careers in banking and tech, and the attitudes were just so negative. I can't be arsed trying to help people who always have an excuse.

No one's saying you have to be Elon Musk, but there's lots of nice jobs which are quite enjoyable sat at a pleasant desk earning 60k. If you want in, it's there for the taking. But a lot just can't be arsed .

Lunabun · 27/08/2022 10:37

Sunnyqueen · 27/08/2022 09:35

Yanbu. I always find its the people who bleat the loudest 'I work hard for my money!' are the ones who actually sit on their arse on a laptop Monday to Friday 9-5 on a fat corporate wage. I just think really, you really believe you work harder than a minimum wage carer on a dementia ward working 100 hours a week?? And the fact they haven't been able to buy their own home like you is because they don't work as hard as you? Come the fuck on now.

Absolutely this. The fact that carers get paid the pittance that they do just totally obliterates any "hard work pays off" argument all by itself.

Katsufatsu · 27/08/2022 10:37

AnnaFri · 27/08/2022 10:36

@Katsufatsu

Others managed just fine

But again, proving my point nicely Grin

You're just horrible..

AnnaFri · 27/08/2022 10:38

WishDragon · 27/08/2022 10:33

How much are todays children being fed the ‘anything is possible’ line?

You see it on shows like the X factor, some teenager who can’t actually sing being told by their family they’re going to be a star.

The X factor may be a bad example as it’s so staged, but you get my point. Hopefully.

I'd say it flits between children being told anything is possible and to follow their dreams

I've vowed to never do either, especially with DD, as it leads to so many girls following low paid 'dream' jobs which just perpetuates gender inequality in terms of salary

Surtsey · 27/08/2022 10:39

This is particularly prevalent in sport and the performing arts worlds. Either you are lucky enough to be one of the infinitesimally small percentage blessed with the inborn natural talent and the right physique... or like 99.9999% of the rest of the population, you're not.

No, you can't become a famous singer and win the X-factor if you can't carry a tune in a bucket, or even if you can sing reasonably well, no matter how many of your friends and family think you are marvellous.

No, you won't be able to join the Royal Ballet if you just try hard enough and spend years at the barre. You're too tall and have dodgy ankles.

No, you won't get to play for Manchester United just because you love football more than all your friends do.

No, you won't be the best rock drummer the world has ever known, you don't have the co-ordination or the sense of rhythm.

Aaargh.

Lunabun · 27/08/2022 10:40

@KimberleyClark I'd add to your post that you also need good luck in the circumstances you were born into and those that life throws at you. You could have all those traits you mentioned, but if you have to become a carer for a relative at a young age then it probably won't work out too well.

The other big one is being lucky to be in good health. I know an exceptionally intelligent person who really had a hard time with a career because they had ME and they were just too unwell.

Fairyliz · 27/08/2022 10:42

sst1234 · 27/08/2022 09:47

Hard work is always misrepresented as you are doing. Hard work is not about graft. It’s about taking risks. About trying new things, stepping outside of your comfort zone. Very small, mundane things.

Packing up and moving to a new city for an opportunity (although that’s not a small thing). Taking a training course as work even though it may be an inconvenience to your working hours or has no obvious benefit. Taking a job you have no experience in or may find difficult. Some other networking opportunity where you meet someone who helps you in some way. Going back to school as an adult. Starting a small business o getting a side hustle.

Hard work is about stepping out of your lane.

@sst1234 So how do you get a job that you have no experience of?
Given my recent experience with Nat West (a whole different thread) I could do a much better job than their CEO who is paid £2.6m. Not sure they would give me the job just because I am willing to take a chance.

medianewbie · 27/08/2022 10:43

'There's a reason Cathy is a Carer".
Yes, because Cathy is (currently) responsible for someone who needs care.

MattDillonsEyebrows · 27/08/2022 10:44

Intelligence comes in many different forms though doesn't?

Academic intelligence is one,
Emotional intelligence is another
Plain old common sense is another form of intelligence
I'd also describe sporting prowess as a certain intelligence, in that you need to have the ability to apply yourself to get good, or even turn up each week at lower levels.

Most people who are very dominant in one form of intelligence is often lacking in the others highly academic people often lack common sense, those high in common sense often lack emotional intelligence, those with emotional intelligence often lack academic skills.

All forms of intelligence need practise, and many people or even academics will say that returning to education it hard. Some forms of intelligence will earn more that others and that is just an unfair and sad fact of life.

I've been described as 'emotionally intelligent' in the past because I'm good with people, I can go on my own anywhere and make friends and I am a decent listener. I am often that nightmare passenger on the train or the bus who will smile at you or (horror of horrors) in some situations start up a conversation! 😄Don't panic though, I (think I) can also tell when conversation is not wanted. (I hope I can!)

However over the last few years, I have not been as social (lockdown, children, job loss), and I fear I am losing my ability and people skills as I'm not practising them regularly as I did when I was younger. Also, I am fast losing the beauty of youth which is another factor that goes well with all forms of intelligence, luck and opportunity.

So I have a certain intelligence, and it will make me popular but it will never get me the big bucks I crave!!

Note - I would never describe myself as 'emotionally intelligent' as it feels a bit dickish, like those who describe themselves as 'empaths', as I've never met anyone who describes themselves as an empath to be particularly empathetic.

5128gap · 27/08/2022 10:45

lollipoprainbow · 27/08/2022 10:36

It's a crappy cliche ! There are those in life who are lucky and those who are not.

Its propaganda to keep people working as hard as possible to maximise other people's profits.
Increased employment rights have weakened the power of the stick previously used to keep people at it, so they needed to produce a carrot.

AnnaFri · 27/08/2022 10:46

medianewbie · 27/08/2022 10:43

'There's a reason Cathy is a Carer".
Yes, because Cathy is (currently) responsible for someone who needs care.

You're being facetious

Most working in menial low paid roles aren't ever going to be capable of doing more

Not everyone is cut out for everything

And that's fine

Otherwise all children would get A* on exams

Spikeyball · 27/08/2022 10:46

People assume low paid means unskilled. It can mean skills that aren't valued.Eg being able to provide good care to disabled people that gives them a better quality of life ( a skill that plenty of people wouldn't be able to do and is mentally and physically demanding).

Giving disabled people a better quality of life is regarded as unimportant so the role is seen as unskilled.

NightmareSlashDelightful · 27/08/2022 10:47

It is rather a stupid phrase — if you take it literally.

But I’ve always read it as ‘it’s helpful to set achievable goals’ which is no bad thing.

Vincitveritas · 27/08/2022 10:48

Some people would love to be Supermodels, not going to happen though if you're 5 foot and look like the arse end of a donkey.

Arkarians · 27/08/2022 10:49

NovaDeltas · 27/08/2022 10:37

Meh. I dunno. I retrained and got a better job and am now a high earner. I wanted to lose weight and excel in a sport so I did that too. No magic. Just did it.

However trying to suggest this to others usually gets responses like 'oh but I can't ' or 'that sounds hard'. I joined various workshops and groups that aim to encourage, offer training and upskilling to out of work women, help them into careers in banking and tech, and the attitudes were just so negative. I can't be arsed trying to help people who always have an excuse.

No one's saying you have to be Elon Musk, but there's lots of nice jobs which are quite enjoyable sat at a pleasant desk earning 60k. If you want in, it's there for the taking. But a lot just can't be arsed .

So if someone isn't earning a minimum of 60k it's because they just can't be arsed?

OP posts:
AnnaFri · 27/08/2022 10:49

@Fairyliz

You wouldn't get the job of CEO at NatWest as you clearly have 0 idea of what the role entails tbh

iklboo · 27/08/2022 10:49

Meh. I dunno. I retrained and got a better job and am now a high earner. I wanted to lose weight and excel in a sport so I did that too. No magic. Just did it.

Good for you. Seriously. But you have to understand it's not always 'excuses'. I'm the higher wage earner - we couldn't afford for me to retrain as it's highly unlikely to be possible around the job I do now (unless I had a Harry Potter Time Turner) and, until recently, caring for my frail parents.

I have two separate disabilities - bang goes the excelling at a sport.

Nobody is saying it's magic. It's circumstances.

AnnaFri · 27/08/2022 10:50

Spikeyball · 27/08/2022 10:46

People assume low paid means unskilled. It can mean skills that aren't valued.Eg being able to provide good care to disabled people that gives them a better quality of life ( a skill that plenty of people wouldn't be able to do and is mentally and physically demanding).

Giving disabled people a better quality of life is regarded as unimportant so the role is seen as unskilled.

It is unskilled

anyone could do it if they had to

Hence the phrase used to describe it

CanaryShoulderedThorn · 27/08/2022 10:50

Unpopular on here but I think that lockdown taught us who are the most important people in keeping the country running and it isn't the marketing executives.
It's a bitter irony that farm workers, delivery drivers, carers, shop assistants, sewage workers and bin men are often the jobs looked down upon and poorly paid.