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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The "anything is possible" brigade

254 replies

Arkarians · 27/08/2022 09:24

Anything is possible with enough hard work! Does anyone else find this phrase annoying as fuck?

You can become a billionaire like Elon Musk apparently, if you just simply work as hard as him.

Anyones child can excel in school, get top marks on all of their GCSEs and get into Oxbridge, if they bothered to work hard enough.

Anyone can achieve a high-flying career as a lawyer or doctor, if they just work hard enough.

The implication is that people who aren't massively successful lawyers, doctors, business owners, CEOs, etc are lazy fucks who couldn't be bothered to put the effort in? Not to mention how your background and/or current circumstances are a massive factor in success too.

Surely it doesn't matter how 'hard' you work, you could work 12 hours a day until the day you die and still never achieve Elon Musk level success. If you don't have the creativity, the right ideas, the luck and all the physical capacities for it, it will never happen.

Is there something Un-PC about acknowledging that people have different abilities, circumstances, levels of intelligence, etc, and not everyone is built for huge success?

OP posts:
Damnautocorrect · 27/08/2022 11:54

I really need a career coach to sit down with me and tell me where my talents lie and what I can do to earn the 50k + I need to.

a lot of it is being able to recognise where your talents lie and how to capitalise on them, and hope they are in a well regarded well paid industry.

AgnestaVipers · 27/08/2022 11:54

Yeah, it's bollocks. Much better to sit kids down, tell them about Ikigai, say that work can be a virtue in itself but isn't a guarantor of wealth or success. And warn them that if you WANT something enough that tends to get you where you want to be so long as you're prepared to take action/put the hours in. However, the result is you get people like Johnson and Truss running the country.

AnnaFri · 27/08/2022 11:55

@MrsRobinsonsHandprints

Where is the lie?

I'd even go so far as to say the majority of those working in menial low paid professions are below average when it comes to intelligence

Otherwise they'd have more options

And most with options take the better option

Yes there will be those like PP who chose to work in a less mentally stressful role due to her being ND even though intelligent. But they will be the minority.

Those taking care of my gran for example, most couldn't pass a basic GCSE from hearing them chatter, and I know a few of them didn't (having gone to school with a couple of them too)

Damnautocorrect · 27/08/2022 11:55

AnnaFri · 27/08/2022 11:51

Many people in menial jobs will be less intelligent though

It doesn't mean intelligent people aren't doing these roles too, but those who aren't intelligent are more likely to be in a low paid menial job over a highly paid professional role. Mainly due to the latter requiring qualifications on the most part

Qualifications, and the luxury to be able to study are free after all.

AnnaFri · 27/08/2022 11:56

@Damnautocorrect

GCSEs are free

As are A-levels

External qualifications I will give you but many in low paid work don't even get the first couple

Damnautocorrect · 27/08/2022 11:57

AnnaFri · 27/08/2022 11:56

@Damnautocorrect

GCSEs are free

As are A-levels

External qualifications I will give you but many in low paid work don't even get the first couple

They aren’t free if you didn’t get them when you were younger. If you had a wobble at school (for whatever reason, shit parents, moving around, illness, bullying etc etc) and didn’t manage it at the time.

NovaDeltas · 27/08/2022 11:58

Damnautocorrect · 27/08/2022 11:54

I really need a career coach to sit down with me and tell me where my talents lie and what I can do to earn the 50k + I need to.

a lot of it is being able to recognise where your talents lie and how to capitalise on them, and hope they are in a well regarded well paid industry.

That career coach has no skills either, that's just convincing people to part with money so they can state the obvious.

You don't work where your 'talents' are. You get into admin/service work and work up. It's not a talent. It's going where the money is. Entry level role and work up.

Women who chase 'talent' work, and it's always women, men chase large salaries - end up selling cupcakes or being carers or TAs. That's just being convinced to take low paid grunt work. Chase salary. Entry level role in banking. No talent, just responsibility and picking your next step up the internal ladder. Fraud detection and legal compliance is very interesting field to work in.

hanxsy · 27/08/2022 12:01

Entry level role in banking.

How do you get that role?

hanxsy · 27/08/2022 12:01

or where are they advertised?

the80sweregreat · 27/08/2022 12:05

Ds2 was bright at school and college wanted him to opt for the more challenging A levels, but he listened to his heart and pursued a graphic design career.
Maybe he'll regret it one day , who knows ? He could be earning more getting a different degree maybe?
You still need the brains and work ethic to do well. Many simply haven't got this ( I was rubbish at maths and even doing evening classes and exams didn't help that much )
I would never pass a GCSE in Maths in a month of Sundays.
You do need a level of intelligence to be able to do anything I think , not everyone has this in spades or have a different kind of intelligence to just being academic.
It's only a ' free ' education up to a point too , university isn't cheap and costs parents a lot of money too, which is ok if you can provide this for your offspring. Not to mention the loans they have to pay back

TakeTheOffPisteRoute · 27/08/2022 12:09

sst1234 · 27/08/2022 09:47

Hard work is always misrepresented as you are doing. Hard work is not about graft. It’s about taking risks. About trying new things, stepping outside of your comfort zone. Very small, mundane things.

Packing up and moving to a new city for an opportunity (although that’s not a small thing). Taking a training course as work even though it may be an inconvenience to your working hours or has no obvious benefit. Taking a job you have no experience in or may find difficult. Some other networking opportunity where you meet someone who helps you in some way. Going back to school as an adult. Starting a small business o getting a side hustle.

Hard work is about stepping out of your lane.

100% agree - it's sad more don't realise this as they'd better their lives.

Namenic · 27/08/2022 12:13

@hanxsy - some accountancy firms will take on non graduates. They pay for your training and qualifications. It might not be banking but lots of companies will need people with accounting skills. A relative studied for CFA (chartered financial analyst) himself. I think there are also some qualifications in book keeping (but look at the job market first and see if these are sought after before taking them).

Some banks will do graduate recruitment - look on jobs websites. I career changed - so you can apply for grad jobs even if you are not fresh out of uni.

AgnestaVipers · 27/08/2022 12:15

Vincitveritas · 27/08/2022 10:57

@AnnaFri I get the feeling you're the sort who tells people to "Use the tradesman's entrance '. I am well qualified, but wouldn't be remotely interested in becoming a CEO at Natwest.

It's fairly clear that AnnaFri doesn't have emotional intelligence, that's for sure. The self-awareness form of intelligence also seems lacking.😁

OhAmBackAgain · 27/08/2022 12:17

Those taking care of my gran for example, most couldn't pass a basic GCSE from hearing them chatter, and I know a few of them didn't (having gone to school with a couple of them too)

and there we have it. intelligence measured by education 🙄

"Everybody is a genius. but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing it is stupid"
Albert Einstein

The "anything is possible" brigade
SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 27/08/2022 12:18

It really doesn't mean that every individual person can achieve everything. But that human endeavour can...

Elon Musk exists after all. As does NASA.

AnnaFri · 27/08/2022 12:18

@AgnestaVipers

Emotional intelligence is used when needed

A factual thread where there are clear 'sides' isn't one of them (a thread advising on domestic abuse is one)

Odd you don't seem to understand there are just thick people in the world

And some of those thick people no matter how hard they apply themselves won't get to achieve 'anything'

Same applies for any other personal attribute

I'm fully abled so wouldn't be able to take part in the Paralympics, can't sing for toffee so wouldn't make it as an opera star, am a bit podgy so couldn't make it as a super model, can't think in numbers so couldn't hack it in investment banking.

It's not wrong for accepting limitations and working within your own 'lane'

AnnaFri · 27/08/2022 12:19

@OhAmBackAgain

Well yes

Academic intelligence is usually measured by that

hanxsy · 27/08/2022 12:21

@Namenic I looked on job sites & didn't see any entry roles in banking. My point was sometimes it's knowing how to access information.

AgnestaVipers · 27/08/2022 12:24

Odd you don't seem to understand there are just thick people in the world

That's your projection, dear. Having been a teacher I know this very well.

You honestly seem very attached to the idea of objective, innate levels of intelligence, presumably because you identify as intelligent, and it gives you something to feel superior about. Yet here you are, proving yourself wrong.

TakeTheOffPisteRoute · 27/08/2022 12:31

WishDragon · 27/08/2022 10:02

Being from a poorer background can also make it difficult if you’re not encouraged to say, be a doctor. Or if you’re the first to go to university. Breaking the mould can often be hard.

No idea if I’ve used the right spelling of mould there.

Wholeheartedly agree with this. It can be difficult. It will likely be more difficult. But it's still not impossible. Also, and speaking from my own personal experience, coming from a poor background was actually a real motivator to work hard and make sensible choices so as to better myself and be able to provide more for my kids.

CaptainMerica · 27/08/2022 12:32

While everything you say is true, I still think its a good message to give children.

I grew up in an area with a real problem with aspiration. The common belief was "well, of course I'm thick, I'm from X". When I got all A's in my pre-lims, my friend's mum told her it didn't matter, as I would end up working in the local factory with the rest of them.

I was surprised to go to uni and discover that my new friends were no more intelligent than the friend's I had at school. They just had middle class parents who pushed them forward in life.

I didn't have middle class parents, but I had working class parents who told me that I could do anything I wanted in life. It makes a difference.

2bazookas · 27/08/2022 12:35

I just spent a week with friends I've known over 40 years .They left school at 16 ; did bog basic jobs, married at 18, by then they had saved enough money to buy a very old small caravan to live in by the beach. They made cake and sandwiches in the van and served them to tourists on the beach. From almost nothing, with no inheritance,basic education, no training, they spotted small opportunities no-one else thought worth bothering with, worked up a ladder of their own small businesses other people laughed at, which they built from scratch. They still live in the same village, are still very ordinary working class people. Their kids went to the local state schools. Their house is not huge, or at all grand, but very comfortable; they dress like us.They are self made multi millionaires.

His great skills are observation and quiet negotiation. Or as he puts it "knowing how to keep my eyes open and my mouth shut".

GyozaGuiting · 27/08/2022 12:35

I’ve had a fair amount of success professionally, and yes hard work is important and I used to subscribe to the ‘anything is possible’ theory.
Actually, as I’ve got older I realise there has been a lot of luck when I look back. You can work your socks off and not get the right opportunities at the right times.
The people I know with huge success have had a fair amount of luck.

FleursSechees · 27/08/2022 12:39

CaptainMerica · 27/08/2022 12:32

While everything you say is true, I still think its a good message to give children.

I grew up in an area with a real problem with aspiration. The common belief was "well, of course I'm thick, I'm from X". When I got all A's in my pre-lims, my friend's mum told her it didn't matter, as I would end up working in the local factory with the rest of them.

I was surprised to go to uni and discover that my new friends were no more intelligent than the friend's I had at school. They just had middle class parents who pushed them forward in life.

I didn't have middle class parents, but I had working class parents who told me that I could do anything I wanted in life. It makes a difference.

I think its an awful message to give to children. The vast majority of the worlds population don't end up becoming rich & successful. The majority of the population are average people, with average talents, working an average job, on an average wage. Teaching every child to 'aim for the stars' is just setting them up for disappointment.

TheLoupGarou · 27/08/2022 12:42

Some of these posts about hard work and taking risks and 'stepping out of your lane' are actually proving the point of the thread.

Of course - all those things will help make someone successful, but that's not the point. The point is that not everyone can do those things for any number of reasons - intelligence, risk averse personality, caring responsibilities, health issues, home circumstances, financial commitments, confidence and self esteem issues - anything!

We don't all start from the same place - life is hard. Success in anything is a combination of internal and external factors. People have different levels of drive and ambition and ability. In reality not everyone taking that call centre job would be able to progress to a more specialised role - that's just reality.

Whoever said care work was unskilled - I'm sorry that's just wrong, many many people can't hack it - for their own loved ones let alone for strangers.