Mark Feehily wants surrogacy to be cheaper and accessible for everyone

[Wouldloveanother]

www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-11141771/Westlifes-Mark-Feehily-discusses-privileged-expensive-surrogacy-journey-welcome-daughter.html

Why are men so entitled?

I'm delighted for them. They're all consenting adults.

Sure it's not "natural " but neither is IVF, I'm still delighted for anyone who who has a much wanted baby, either way.

Abhorrent.

People willing to willingly deprive a child of the only mother it's ever known, whose very heartbeat and body provided them safety and comfort are not suitable people to raise a child.
At the first hurdle they've failed to consider the needs of the child.
Awful, awful, awful.
And we should be able to criticise immoral behaviour of anyone commissioning a child, regardless of sexuality.

You can’t speak to me like that. I’m just as entitled to join in with a discussion as anyone else. I’m trying to understand something and how else can I unless I ask questions ? I have ASD and I do sometimes approach topics from a different angle - I’m allowed to ask questions

Theres, I would say, an ethical difference between separation coming about as a result of necessity (eg medical care or safeguarding issue) and seperation that occurs because someone planned and intended for it to be that way.

they do kangaroo care etc with premature babies precisely because they recognise the important of that relationship in care or new borns and premature babies.

This is tiresome. Abortion is a different discussion, and conflating these issues helps noone apart from those who wish to control women's bodies.

Yes they do and kangaroo care can help mitigate it. We spent 7 weeks in NICU and I was so conscious of that. I am a therapist so probably more concerned about attachment bonds than many, but it really worried me. When we finally got home, my DC was so much less chilled out than in hospital. I couldn't put him down, he just wanted held constantly. I definitely believe he was affected by being forcibly separated from me.

So it’s more for growing up and later in life that the loss kicks in for children ? As babies in nicu have time without their mother initially and are ok but regain that relationship as soon as possible so that’s ok and they don’t become damaged as the loss wasn’t permanent?

They're all consenting adults.
Newborns are neither consenting nor adults.

Are either of the couple the father of the child?

@goldsparklyChocolate there is some really great content on TikTok from people adopted as infants. You might find it useful/interesting if wanting to hear perspectives about newborns being separated from birth parents.

👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻

There is this increasing trend to impersonalize the wording around pregnant women. It’s not 'a pregnant women' it’s 'a pregnancy' The same with abortion. Now termed as 'ending a pregnancy ' I’m sure this change in language is deliberate. An attempt to change the language around something that only women can do.

Newborns are neither consenting nor adults

Well obviously. I was talking about the dads and the surrogate 🙄

But it’s all connected if it’s about women bodies and I’m just trying to make sense of it all with a base of common facts to refer to

It’s not the same though? My daughter was born at 23 weeks and within the hour I was there touching her speaking to her, for umpteen hours a day until she came home so she still knew me and had me

There are threads on the adoption board from adults, adopted as children, into loving and stable homes who nonetheless have suffered tremendously with attachment issues and unhappiness.
Surrogacy isn't exactly the same but has some parallels. These children are very much loved and wanted, but that's not to say it's going to be happy ever after.
Babies are small people, they have feelings and emotions and respond to their Mothers voice and smell from birth. Being taken from their birth mother immediately after birth must cause stress, even if they're too little to express or articulate it.

🤣🤣🤣I wasn't calling a newborn an adult

Hey Tom

Yes, you erased the baby from the equation, that was rather the point.

It appears you're actually engaging in sea lioning behaviour, which often happens on threads like this, because women vociferously defending our bodily autonomy makes some people uncomfortable.

So if a drug addict had a baby and was over the moon with them, would you say the same thing?

His entitlement is sickening. I used to be pretty neutral about surrogacy but find myself being angered by articles like this lately. MN has made me look at it differently.

Threads about gay couples and surrogacy always make me very uncomfortable. It's hard to say what is a genuine disagreement with surrogacy and what is homophobia dressed up as genuine disagreement with surrogacy.

Yes, you erased the baby from the equation, that was rather the point

Because I was only talking about the adults.

IVF is the same , nobody asks the child if they consent to being created in a dish... because you cant.
I'm still delighted for anyone who has a much loved child!. It's quite alright to have differing opinions.

My uncle and aunt had a baby via a surrogate as my aunt was too old to have another child. They bought a baby basically. It’s really distasteful. I used to be quite close to them but I went off them after that.

I also knew a gay couple who did it and everything they told me about the process made me heave. They hassled the mother endlessly about everything while she was pregnant and then took the baby away from her. The baby cried all the time which they were puzzled about - poor thing must have thought who are you and where is my mum? We’re told so often that babies know their mum’s voices etc but then that goes out the window if two well off men want a baby.