Who is being unreasonable here?

[Telivania]

Kitchen area has had some work done. 2 tradesmen were in the house working on it for a whole day. Obviously they had breaks in between (went for lunch, etc).

Person A and Person B are married and live together. A was the one at home while the tradies were in, while B was out at work.

A told them they were welcome to make their own drinks (tea, coffee, etc), but wouldn't personally be serving them anything.

B thinks A was rude and had no manners, as making drinks and food for tradies is basic hospitality and costs nothing.

A insists it's not about the cost, but about the principle. A refuses to act as a 'servant' to random men who are simply doing their job (and being paid a lot of money for it).

B still disagrees and thinks A was being disrespectful.

Who is BU?

YANBU, give them the stuff they need to make their own drinks as they would at home and leave them to work uninterrupted. I honestly hate the faff of 'I'm making a drink, do you want one?' and then being presented with a cup of milky water which has barely winked at a teabag but feeling obliged to sip it down. It's not so much a case of not wanting to 'serve' a man but why would you overcomplicate something so simple as making drinks during the day?

I think it’s totally fine to just point anyone working in your house in the direction of the kettle, tea coffee etc, and say help yourself. I usually make an initial cup and then say, please help yourselves to more. Would often leave biscuits too.

When I had a loft conversion they weren’t big drinkers of hot drinks for the most part, so I ended up getting a load of cans of soft drinks, which was very welcome but also much easier!

I do the same thing with my cleaner, ask if they want a drink on arrival, which they often say no but sometimes yes, and then say “ oh please help yourself if you change your mind/ want anything” and they know they can help themselves to a drink if I’m out.

@ImpartialMongoose

A massive wanker? bit harsh.

I've been backtracking ever since? 😴 Stop exaggerating. I haven't "backtracked" on anything. I did however correct one poorly-worded sentence in my OP.

@IncompleteSenten It was just poorly worded on my behalf!

Anyway, the posts on here seem split 50/50, like me and my husband
So I think we'll just agree to disagree on this occasion!

If B is so bothered he should wait on them himself! 😝

While he's out at work?

Very overly defensive. I never told you any such thing.

I never accept food and prefer to be told to help myself to hot drinks.

It's the weird not being a servant to random men thing thats weird and would be equally so from a man so I don't know how you think that's sexist.

Ffs you’re not acting as a servant to random men when making someone who is working in your house a cup of tea. Dial it down.

@Surplus2requirements

That's literally exactly what you said 😂

I think you're being overly defensive here because your profession has been mentioned.

My point is making drinks, foods, snacks, etc all day for random people who have been given all the facilities to do it themselves would make me a servant. I'm not hosting them, they're here to work.

Never mind though, eh? Agree to disagree - me and my husband already have.

@Boredsoentertainme

Not one cup of tea. My husband was making the point that I should've made all the drinks, food, snacks, etc throughout the day for them myself, when they were given all the facilities to do it themselves. That's the servant part. Maybe you lack reading comprehension?

A was inhospitable and rude!

B is unreasonable. Of course they can make their own drinks?!

It's just basic manners to make them a cup of tea or coffee.

My point is making drinks, foods, snacks, etc all day for random people who have been given all the facilities to do it themselves would make me a servant

lol. Bet staying round yours is a blast 😂