Who is being unreasonable here?

[Telivania]

Kitchen area has had some work done. 2 tradesmen were in the house working on it for a whole day. Obviously they had breaks in between (went for lunch, etc).

Person A and Person B are married and live together. A was the one at home while the tradies were in, while B was out at work.

A told them they were welcome to make their own drinks (tea, coffee, etc), but wouldn't personally be serving them anything.

B thinks A was rude and had no manners, as making drinks and food for tradies is basic hospitality and costs nothing.

A insists it's not about the cost, but about the principle. A refuses to act as a 'servant' to random men who are simply doing their job (and being paid a lot of money for it).

B still disagrees and thinks A was being disrespectful.

Who is BU?

A bit of A and a bit of B, I offer to make the first drink then tell them to help themselves and leave out cups and and coffee etc. I’ve got stuff to do for the rest of the day!

I would make drinks if I was having one but definitely not offer food

I always show them where everything is and offer them to help themselves, but I'll always make their first one because 9/10 I'm having one myself!

I wouldn’t be making tea or coffee. If A actually said to them “I won’t be serving you” that seems rude. I’d have just said to help themselves

I think the whole thing is wrong. Why wouldn’t they bring their own food and drink with them?

YABU and a bit of a dick, presuming you are A.

A is right! I make the first cup and then say, yea, coffee, milk etc is there. Help yourself.

Why would they wait for me to offer if they came to a natural tea break time?

Snap with me

A is right
And if B wants to serve drinks, B can stay home and serve drinks

Really? Why?

I would make/offer an arrival drink then say to help themselves from there . Not offering any is rude. Spending all day popping down offering more is a waste of everyone's time.

Personally I would prob lay everything out for them, coffee, tea bags, sugar, biscuits, milk, diluting juice, cups, glasses ect and just let them get on with it.

I think the best approach is something between A and B. In a working day I'd offer to make about 3 drinks and then say "Help yourself". It's not about being a servant to random men! It's just polite and hospitable. Drinks must be especially welcome when you're doing physical work all day. I also offer my cleaners drinks and any trade person that comes.

A was too blunt.
If it was me, I'd make the first and then say help yourselves whenever you fancy a cuppa.

Telling someone I won't make you drinks but you can use the kitchen can be interpreted as I really don't want you to use the kitchen. Making that first one is the signal that they are genuinely welcome to help themselves.

Did you let them use your bog if needed?

A wasn't 'hosting' them, they were there to work!

A is a gobshite.

A is the dick. You always make the tradies drinks.

These whole “A did this B did this” threads are irritating

I think making the first one and then saying something like “oh - please help yourself to another when you fancy it. I’m never sure how much tea people drink and I’d hate you to be thirsty” is a nicer way of doing it. Same sort of outcome, it comes across differently.

I'd leave drink supplies out an some biscuits/snack stuff and say they are welcome to help themselves etc. 🤷

How often does B make drinks for tradespeople?

My response was assuming that person A didn't actually say to the trades, I'm not your servant you random men, and more along the lines of "just help yourselves to drinks etc"

As others say, I do also leave cold drinks in summer and nice biscuits, but not cake.

Depends. If A had shown them where everything was, put mugs and sugar out by rhe kettle etc then I think that's ok. If it was just a statement of 'help yourself' then it was rude as not many would feel comfortable rummaging around looking for what they need and would just go without.

A is unreasonable. It was fine to tell them to help themselves, it was rude to then say they wouldn't be doing it for them. They also should have at least made the first one and offered if they were making one after that.