Husbands inheritance

[lisaloves]

DH has inherited 15k from an Aunt who sadly passed.

We are very happily married with 2 DCs. Comfortable financially but certainly not loaded. Huge mortgage and things we need to do to the house etc.

DH wants to put the entire amount in to Bitcoin. He's reluctantly agreed to just put half in to Bitcoin and the other half in to our joint ISA.

AIBU to think this is selfish?

For reference I am the bread winner by a country mile and we share all of our income. I never question this so it now feels unfair that his money is 'his' money - when for a long time I've earned much more and it's all been shared money.

I don't know much about Bitcoin but from what I've read it's very risky business.

Put it all in the mortgage and feel the benefit every month.

My husband is in the process of inheriting a nice amount as his well off rather died and he was left half and we also have LPA for his mum. At no point has he ever indicated that this is his money not our money. He's also really tight on frivolous spending from his mum's half so it's not wasted.

“ earned by someone’s labour “

You are making an assumption there. The money could have been a lottery win or the proceeds of a very small bank robbery.

I would persuade him to invest £500 in bitcoin, if, as he hopes, bitcoin defies the pundits and becomes the investment of choice he will make a decent amount on it, otherwise when it tanks he has had the fun of the investment, learned a lesson and suffered the loss of a smallish amount of money and more importantly you will have had the satisfaction of being right! Worth £500.

You may be right about having the potential to exceed premium bonds. ISA performance depends on the underlying asset.

But the point about Bitcoin is the potential for loss, not just gain. And that downside risk is total loss. Its difficult to tell from the OP, but I would suggest that the capacity for loss isn't there to accept total loss without an adverse effect on the OP.

An ISA whether Stocks and Shares or Cash is protected from institutional risk by the Financial Services Compensation Scheme. Investment risk can be managed by using a diversified portfolio.

Stupid is a bit of a loaded term. I would suggest the DH is either ignorant of the characteristics of cryto and the associated losses, or is being willfully gung ho.

If he is set on this, maybe use a very small proportion, or acquire a "gambling fund" from excess income to enable to "dabble".

I agree with OP but..

It isn't your money and he can do what he likes with it. But you've clearly set an expectation that there is a shared pool of money and you pay more into it, so your expectation is that he would do the same. He isn't obliged but you think (reasonably IMO) that this is what he should do.

The wrinkle is potentially in the disproportionate earnings. If he earns a lot less, then perhaps he rarely has a lot of disposable income so he's gone along with your system because it (obviously) works for him, but has never had to face the flip side before. And now he is, he doesn't like it or doesn't want to apply that to 'his' money.

It could be a gap in expectation - he could turn around with all sorts of reasons. 'you earn more than me so of course you pay in more'; 'I wouldn't tell you what to do with an inheritence' etc etc.

Bitcoin is a mugs game. If you got in super early (or could mine for free) and cashed in a few years ago - great. But by the time its well known in the mainstream its already too late.

ISA is fine - perhaps a compromise would be to split the money in half - you put half in an ISA with your 'risk profile' and he puts his half in another with perhaps a higher risk:reward ratio if he wants to see better returns (with some but limited risk)

This is exactly the same as boss babe bollocks. You didn't know how to play you just got lucky and are stupid enough not to realise it.

Bernie Maddoffs early "investors" could same the same thing. Only they don't because they are self aware.

A fool and his money are easily parted.

He's a mug to gamble so much of a sum that could have done a lot for your family; unlike shares, Bitcoin doesn't have assets etc underpinning it so the risk is high.

That said I do have a positive story about Bitcoin - fourteen years ago my husband had an affair with a colleague; mostly emotional, but they then met once for sex. I confronted him as he was behaving weirdly after and he confessed - it was a mistake, it went too far, he wanted his old life & family back etc.

Thing was, I knew she was emailing him still and trying to convince him to leave and he was lying, so I looked up hacking her mail (I know - madness). I went as far as buying £250 of bitcoin to pay the hacker, then came to my senses and chickened out (and what would it have achieved - I left him anyway). But... I held onto the bitcoin and forgot about it. True, I should have cashed it in when it was worth twice as much, but that £250 is still £5,500 today. Next year my kids and I will be taking a holiday somewhere exotic and I'll drink a cocktail to her - fuck you, W!

I think he can do what he wants but (a) it’s sad if he doesn’t want to use it for his family and (b) bitcoin is the absolute stupidest thing to do with it.

I bought about £30's worth of bitcoin a while ago, which ascended the dizzy heights of around £180, before slipping back to not much more than I paid for it. I certainly wouldn't've invested any more. I very much doubt it will ever rise to that degree again.

Bitcoin is a pyramid scheme. The current investors can only maintain or increase the value of their current holdings by hyping it up to new converts and sucking in new money, but like all pyramid schemes it will run out of new victims eventually and then pretty much all recent investors will lose everything. Some of the early adopters who rode the initial surf wave and re-converted their winnings back to hard currency at the right time will make a profit, but that profit will be bought from duping people like your DH.

It is very foolish to be sharing finances with a fool like this.

Sounds like what’s yours is shared and what’s his is his. If he doesn’t treat all income as household income then time to stop sharing everything you have with him. My DH and I put everything into one pot despite him earning more than me for years, and we have the same amount of ‘pocket money’ out to play with. As a result when I inherited £15k last year it didn’t cross my mind that it wasn’t ‘ours’ to decide jointly what to do with. Same when either of us gets a work bonus or another windfall.

Bitcoin may pay off or may not but that’s beside the point. I wouldn’t be happy with risking such a lump sum when there are better ways to use it and would question sharing my finances with someone who was prepared to take but not share.

I think the bitcoin investment is reasonable if the money isn’t needed in the short term, and he can afford to lose it in a pinch. Bitcoin is way down and will likely go up again so he could be timing it just right.

There are a lot of financial mugs on here. if I hear Premium Bonds mentioned again (the worlds most boring and poorly paying investment) 😂😂😂😂

Of course it's not a mug's game... How is an investment in Tether/Luna doing?

How is Bitcoin doing over the last few month's?

Other than being lucky about when to invest and divest (if anyone really invested and are not just trying to talk up the market) by what evidenceble, replicable means could anyone know when to invest and divest and in what digital assets?

How is the investment doing in the digital asset “for carrying on an undertaking of great advantage, but nobody to know what it is”?

I think the ‘it’s my inheritance’ suits people if they have their own ability to find a lump sum or save up separately.

I would be very miffed if my husband suggested this. He did in fact do similar with 3k we were gifted and put it into a certain account- not as volatile as bitcoin- without discussing with me first. I told him I was annoyed about the lack of communication more than the choice and he agreed. He’s been better since.

but, he would never try to keep money solely for himself. We have some In crypto but not much.

I would probably accept a nominal sum going somewhere of his choosing but maybe only about 1/2k. The rest should be for family and I would hope to discuss the most sensible place for the 1/2k too..

There are no joint Isa's !

Yes premium bonds are 'boring'; because they aren't gambling. If you are attracted to bitcoin by the risk and find that creates a high then you are doing 'investing' wrong.

Bitcoin isn't gambling its a bigger fool scam.

I know you probably know this but it really bears repeating.

I am shocked by how many people think this is legitimate. Can you imagine if OPs DH wanted to invest in an MLM?

They are not investing either as some tragics believe. They are loaning money to the government at less than market rates. If you want government risk rates buy a Bond ETF. Premium Bonds are for mugs.

Your comment makes no sense.

Buying a car/holiday/decorating might be "blowing" money, but at least you GET something for your money. You're not just giving away £15k cash in gambling that you'll never see again.

Gambling is risky and gives a high that can become addictive. MLM relies on social pressure/approval. Bitcoin and the way it is marketed contains elements of both.

The high and the social approval make people feel they are getting something for their money at the time; until they wake up. The spell wears off, they realise they've been had and have given all their money away to other people.
You rarely hear them talk about their regret on social media, and that helps keep the spell going.

That you might never see again. You get a chance at making more money. And insofar as bitcoin goes it’s probably the best time to buy since 2018 if youre going to take that risk.

Buy what? What are you buying and how does it make money?

I disagree, I'd say that is probably legal companies just hoping you'll pay them to fight to try to keep your inheritance out of the matrimonial pot. It really is very much on a case by case basis from what I've seen and depends on when it was inherited, length of marriage, children, making sure both parties can maintain a similar lifestyle to what they had before etc. Another website said:

If you inherited assets during your marriage, there is a high likelihood that the Court would consider them part of the matrimonial pot. You might be able to prevent this by creating a post-nuptial agreement to ring-fence assets.

You can say that about any currency. What is a pound? They used to exchange it for gold on demand. Now they just give you another pound. So what is it other than a number in a ledger (like bitcoin).

How does it “make money”? it doesn’t, it goes up and down in value because there is a limited supply and variable demand. If you pick the right timing you can make money. Like bitcoin.

So trading or investing in BC is most analogous to foreign currency trading - and more like in emerging markets. High risk but high reward. Maybe…