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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husbands inheritance

335 replies

lisaloves · 22/08/2022 22:17

DH has inherited 15k from an Aunt who sadly passed.

We are very happily married with 2 DCs. Comfortable financially but certainly not loaded. Huge mortgage and things we need to do to the house etc.

DH wants to put the entire amount in to Bitcoin. He's reluctantly agreed to just put half in to Bitcoin and the other half in to our joint ISA.

AIBU to think this is selfish?

For reference I am the bread winner by a country mile and we share all of our income. I never question this so it now feels unfair that his money is 'his' money - when for a long time I've earned much more and it's all been shared money.

I don't know much about Bitcoin but from what I've read it's very risky business.

OP posts:
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5
HoppingKangaroo · 23/08/2022 09:26

Do you both work full time? How is everything else shared - the cooking, cleaning, life admin, childcare etc?

Rinatinabina · 23/08/2022 09:27

DH and I would always share tbh, we don’t really have a mine and yours especially after DC. I’d be annoyed, lump sums to take a chunk off the mortgage or pay for repairs benefits the whole family. It’s also about valuing an inheritance, someone has left you something and that should be meaningful in some way imo. I’d want money from my family to benefit my family.

Does he think he’s going to make it big and he’s annoyed you don’t trust his judgement (which frankly you shouldn’t). He obviously doesn’t think he’s going to lose it.

Miffee · 23/08/2022 09:27

Manchester1990 · 23/08/2022 09:26

As long as he holds until 2030, that will be at least a 10X profit. It’s a good risk at these prices.

Is this for real?

LewisManchester · 23/08/2022 09:42

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

anya172 · 23/08/2022 09:43

Like others said, he is allowed to do what he wants with the money, you can't stop it. But he is also happy to share your money but has shown that it doesn't go both way. Worth re-discussing your financial arrangements with that in mind x

Charlieiscool · 23/08/2022 09:49

Regardless if the legal position about inheritance, for him to consider it solely his rather than family money shows him up to be horribly selfish. It is something you should decide on together for the benefit of all of you. He really is selfish. I would never do that and I’d be very upset if DH did it.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL · 23/08/2022 09:52

Manchester1990 · 23/08/2022 09:26

As long as he holds until 2030, that will be at least a 10X profit. It’s a good risk at these prices.

GrinGrinGrinGrinGrin

Fifife · 23/08/2022 09:54

My OH has invested over a 100k in meme stocks or should I say gambled. It has paid off so far and he has a 100 percent return but I think he's fecking stupid. We are very comfortable but I think I would kill him if we were financially vulnerable.

bricken · 23/08/2022 10:02

@lisaloves I suggest you ask him what his Aunt would think of him putting it into Bitcoin.🙄

Tell him to put it in a S&S isa, invested in a tracker fund, and not to consider investing it in anything else until he's done a lot more research.

RedToothBrush · 23/08/2022 10:06

There is a parent whose son in in DS's class who DH absoluetely can't stand.

He overheard this Dad talking to his mates. The Dad was bemoaning the fact he'd just lost his life savings on Bitcoin.

DH has been saying for years its a mugs game and even told this guy a couple of years ago.

Write off the money but don't let him invest anymore into Bitcoin.

Everanewbie · 23/08/2022 10:11

So much wrong here. No such thing as a joint ISA, it literally means "Individual Savings Account". Bitcoin? He'd be insane. Unless you are already well set up and wealthy. If he must, maybe a small percentage that you are both prepared to write off with the very realistic possibility of a total loss and not mourn it.

Figgygal · 23/08/2022 10:11

Much better ways to invest at the moment - hes being irresponsible with whats not a huge sum of money
I could spend £15k easily on life stuff - holiday, new kitchen appliances, boring stuff like boiler servicing, pay off any debt which would benefit the family overall

LindaEllen · 23/08/2022 10:15

Hotandbothereds · 22/08/2022 22:25

Bitcoin is a complete mugs game, he’s an idiot to consider putting even half into it.

We bought 3 when they were £3k, sold them at £52k each and paid our mortgage off and got a new car each, plus added to our premium bonds significantly.

Mug's game?

Only if you don't know how to play.

penelopeisland · 23/08/2022 10:16

I agree using premium bonds is much saver.

But that husband of yours… Selfish! never learned to share?

If there is no getting through to him - I would start another ISA (in your own name) and start putting a little money aside each month for yourself too!
If he does it, why dont you?

Don’t let him take advantage of you. You are valuable, dont let anyone make you feel otherwise.

HaveringWavering · 23/08/2022 10:17

Charlieiscool · 23/08/2022 09:49

Regardless if the legal position about inheritance, for him to consider it solely his rather than family money shows him up to be horribly selfish. It is something you should decide on together for the benefit of all of you. He really is selfish. I would never do that and I’d be very upset if DH did it.

She hasn’t said that he isn’t treating it as family money. She says he wants to invest it in Bitcoin. She doesn’t say he wants to keep the profits to himself rather than put them into the family pot. This isn’t him wanting to keep the money to/for himself, it’s about him wanting to make the investment decision without OP’s agreement.

VerinMathwin · 23/08/2022 10:20

I hope you paid your capital gains tax^^

Everanewbie · 23/08/2022 10:23

LindaEllen · 23/08/2022 10:15

We bought 3 when they were £3k, sold them at £52k each and paid our mortgage off and got a new car each, plus added to our premium bonds significantly.

Mug's game?

Only if you don't know how to play.

Show quote history

I'm happy for you. But several people over the years have won big at roulette or the lottery. Anecdotes like this don't constitute sound long term financial planning.

theremustonlybeone · 23/08/2022 10:23

So your money is shared and his money is his. Time for you to reconsider your finances. I would be separating them out as he has shown you who he is. What a selfish individual.

WireSkills · 23/08/2022 10:25

I stuck £100 in BitCoin in December 2021. It's now worth £46. I just did it as an experiment.

I know others that are making a lot of money on crypto's though, but they know what they're doing and can spend a fair amount of time on the markets.

Just sticking some money in to Crypto's without spending time and research, etc, will likely end up in the same scenario as mine.

If I were him I'd put it in to something like Moneybox where you can invest money and choose your risk profile. I've been investing in a Moneybox stocks & shares ISA for a couple of years now and have growth of 12% in there on a modest risk profile.

Seafretfreda · 23/08/2022 10:30

Recent inheritance, chunk into joint mortgage, one blowout holiday, a few bits around the house. All shared, no question. And it was a hell of a lot more than that!

budgiegirl · 23/08/2022 10:37

Charlieiscool · 23/08/2022 09:49

Regardless if the legal position about inheritance, for him to consider it solely his rather than family money shows him up to be horribly selfish. It is something you should decide on together for the benefit of all of you. He really is selfish. I would never do that and I’d be very upset if DH did it.

I think inheritance belongs 100% to whoever inherited it and their wife/husband has no say over it, nor should they accuse them of “being selfish” if they don’t want to spend it the way the husband/wife thinks they should

I totally disagree. My DH, many years ago, inherited about £10000. We had a young family at the time, we both worked. If he had considered it solely his, I would have thought him to be terribly selfish and it would have damaged our relationship. As it was, he's not selfish, he put the amount into our joint account, and we discussed together how it should be spent. The same will happen should we inherit any money in the future (for what it's worth, I am likely to inherit far more than he will, but we will still consider all money to be family money).

I think the only situation in which this may be different is if your marriage is rocky, so one party may be trying to protect the money, or if you are so wealthy that any inheritance will make sod all difference to your life/spending patterns.

Rosehugger · 23/08/2022 10:41

It's his money but personally I would treat everyone including myself and then spend it on the house or invest it more wisely than on Bitcoin.

Gambling it all on Bitcoin is ridiculous.

goldenshoe · 23/08/2022 10:42

Going against the grain here, I don't think it's that bad an investment. Risky for sure, but it has potential to make better gains than sitting in premium bonds or an isa. Bitcoin is about as reliable as you'll get in crypto, but there are definitely better gains to be made in other coins.

I don't really understand why people get so het up about crypto, those who invest aren't stupid and know it's risky (I know, generalising). I'd say you have a good compromise with using half for crypto, but 'only invest what you can afford to lose' is valid here.

Oh, someone made a suggestion of spending it on solar panels - that's what I'd do tbh (and spend the change on crypto 😉).

CurlyTop1980 · 23/08/2022 10:45

Don't do it. My husband "invested" 10 grand in Forex and lost the lot. Ots a mugs game.

madasawethen · 23/08/2022 10:46

Does he have form for ideas like this?

If he wants to do the bitcoin, go with 500 and then forget about it.