Husbands inheritance

[lisaloves]

DH has inherited 15k from an Aunt who sadly passed.

We are very happily married with 2 DCs. Comfortable financially but certainly not loaded. Huge mortgage and things we need to do to the house etc.

DH wants to put the entire amount in to Bitcoin. He's reluctantly agreed to just put half in to Bitcoin and the other half in to our joint ISA.

AIBU to think this is selfish?

For reference I am the bread winner by a country mile and we share all of our income. I never question this so it now feels unfair that his money is 'his' money - when for a long time I've earned much more and it's all been shared money.

I don't know much about Bitcoin but from what I've read it's very risky business.

DH. has some shares in companies he has worked for - they are hard enough to think through whether they are are with vesting or not. A friend of ours told him she was taking a job solely paid in bit coin and his view was Good luck for that. So not to say DH wears the trousers here but on this particular point he does understand it better then me & I think his view is give it a tiny shot in an amount you can afford to lose, It is not a magic money machine. As PPs have said.

On a side issue - DH's parents have sadly died - it has gone into the family pot. I reckon my parents are very good for some years yet ( I hope so ) But if ever I were to get something ( and it would be small ) It will go into the family pot - just a way you look at finances I suppose )

Lol. I can buy petrol or bread with pounds. Can I use bitcoin at Asda? Texaco?

Stop speaking bollocks.

One of the most eye opening things on MN from my POV has been seeing how wide the spectrum is when it comes to the way behaviour and finances are handled inside marriages/relationships - being honest - I find it quite hard to relate to a lot of what gets written about. One area that comes up regularly is the issue of money - bills, earnings and now and again inheritance.

We have always only ever had one joint account - in any long relationship there are ups and downs in employment - well there has been for us. At times I have earned double what my wife earned (as she wanted to work 4 days part-time) and at other times, when I changed career and also when I became a house-husband and part-time self-employed (to work around my kids, school hours and their education - on 2 separate occasions - for 4 years and 5 years) - I earned less than half what she earned plus I took time out between jobs of 3-4 months when my children were born - an inheritance (not from my one remaining estranged parent!) of about £140k was split roughly 3 ways - I created an account in my wife's name only and stuck 1/3 in that for her, did the same for myself and the rest in our joint account - we've never had any money in separate accounts until now. We then gave £10k to our DD who wanted to buy a house.

We have always made all our financial decisions together - I wouldn't spend more than about £10 without my wife knowing about it. I wanted to share my luck with the most important person in my life - it wasn't a decision that needed to be thought about.

If I was you @lisaloves I'd separate your financial affairs and put your salary into your own account if he's not going to show an equal commitment to your relationship in terms of agreeing decisions together and your financial security. I have no regrets or second thoughts about splitting the inheritance into thirds.

I understand that people perhaps haven't been together long enough to 100% trust their partners and bad experiences in previous relationships obviously makes it harder to trust - and of course - some people either don't understand financial matters or aren't smart about decisions with money.

With mortgage interest rates rising as well as bills for everything else - I'd perhaps value having the cash on hand to cover the mortgage more than anything. It's a very uncertain situation for the majority of people in the UK right now.

Putting it towards the mortgage makes guaranteed money - by reducing the amount you pay each month.

If interest rates are at 5% then you will have made a 50% profit in 10 years and full payback in 20 - probably less than that because of compound interest but my brain isn't good enough for the calculations.

I don't think people have done the maths on big mortgages and high interest rates. Unless you're on a fixed rate they are going to be crippling for many people and things like ISAs and premium bonds make sense whilst interest rates are low as no point paying it off then, but now they're creeping up any way you can reduce the mortgage makes sense.

Well if you have a horizon beyond Tesco’s, yes you can use bitcoin to buy things directly, especially online. Not as many as normal currency of course because it’s new, but it’s growing.

But it doesn’t sound like you’re interested in facts or learning about something new. Always amazes how those with the least understanding are the firmest in their position, hurling insults at those trying to clarify things for them. Let no good deed go unpunished and all that…

Op I think you need to tell him that if he won't put it into the family pot then you need to totally change finances because you share your earnings with him..

Ideally he should give himself and family maybe 2 grand for fun or into funds for fun.
The rest should go to where it needs to go.

Am always puzzled at the suggestion to use bitcoin to make purchases. The last time I looked though thingss may have moved on, Bitcoin struggled with 5? transactions per second and with an enormous carbon footprint. One traditional network, Visa, whizzes 1700? transactions per second in the same period. Bitcoin as a Digital asset with a value based on scarcity makes more sense than bitcoin as a medium for exchange.

Ooh, imagine a post where a higher earning husband demands his wife’s inheritance go into the pot or he’ll stop contributing…

Tbf, my now ex-husband was the main breadwinner for the duration of our marriage. When I was given an inheritance from an uncle, that money was “ours”, and was spent on house improvements, to benefit all of us. I genuinely can’t imagine having come into a large sum of money and deciding that it was “mine” to keep for myself.

Indeed. Inheritances are one of the areas where MN (the majority, clearly not individuals) have completely different views depending on whether it's a man or a woman that's inherited. If it's a man, it must be spent to the benefit of the family. If it's a woman, it's perfectly ok to keep it for yourself, and in some cases not even to tell your husband about it.

More bollocks.

It's neither new nor growing nor are you speaking facts.

It's 15 years old and you can use it in (a lot) fewer places now than you previously could.

It's a scam and you sound like a mark. Get out now while you can.

Great, moved onto what exactly?

Is it perhaps... nothing? Oh soz I forgot about pixilated monkeys.

Yes, but it's not just about money, it's about definitely getting something for your money. You don't GET anything if you "buy" bitcoin, but you do if you "blow" your money on a car. So not even sure what you're on about 😂

People are pointing out that Bitcoin has lost 50% over a year. They should also note that the Pound has lost 15% over a year (against USD and is not expected to recover this year). Currencies fluctuate, and what matters is what is going to happen in the future, and I haven't the foggiest what Bitcoin is going to do. One thing you can say is it's a better buy now than it was a year ago. One problem with all crypto is that it belongs to no country, so there is no government likely to take any action to prevent devaluation. It is far too risky for me.

If you want to invest money into something slightly less safe than a building society at the moment, my advice would be to buy some shares in Centrica or Shell (for highly obvious reasons).

Yes agree, the hypocrisy on this subject is breathtaking on MN. I’m not sure why either.

Maybe it’s just that we can more easily put ourselves in the position of a female inheriting and would want to keep it for ourselves.

Maybe it’s conditioning that men are somehow really responsible for providing for the family, while women just dabble around the edges for pocket money. So if it’s money the man has, it should go to the family.

Dunno. Maybe one of the “what’s his is ours and what’s mine you keep your hands off” crowd could explain.

If my husband (if I had one) inherited I would not expect to get any of it per se.

Two reasons to say no:
*Bitcoin is a mug's game
*It's not his money
See an independent Financial Adviser first

Bitcoin is not really a currency though, its not legal tender anywhere. The number of places you can use it to buy things has been consistently reducing for a while. When I looked at a list of places its accepted I recognised a total of 1 retailer and when I checked they had stopped accepting it since the list was made.

They literally had to invent something to buy with it (NFTs).

I agree with the sentiment of using inheritance in a way that the deceased person would approve of.

I had a modest inheritance from a grandparent, put 1/5 into rainy day savings and spent the rest on home improvements to improve energy efficiency and a holiday for the family in a place the deceased person used to live going, we had happy memories of going there with them.

Gambling it away like that seems arrogant and greedy.

When I die and leave everything to my children, I would like them to know that absolutely ZERO pressure to spend it how they think i might have wanted them to.

i would like them to have the freedom to spend it however the hell they would like! And if that meant blowing the lot on a year travelling around the world staying in 5 star hotels or investing in bitcoins or buying a property - then so be it.

If one of my children had an addiction / gambling issue - then I would amend my will to reflect that either held in trust or requirement that can only be spent on treatment until such time as trustees feel that appropriate to be released fully or given to partner if I trusted them with parameters.

Charlie Munger , Warren Buffett right hand man still going at 99 years

had this to say on the subject

nypost.com/2022/07/12/berkshire-hathaways-charlie-munger-crypto-is-an-open-sewer/

Berkshire Hathaway’s billionaire vice chairman Charlie Munger renewed his scathing criticism of the cryptocurrency sector – calling the industry a “sewer” full of bad actors selling digital coins that lack any actual value.

Munger, one of the financial world’s most vocal critics of cryptocurrencies, referred to the “crypto craze” as a “mass folly” during an interview published on Tuesday.

“I just avoid it as if it were an open sewer, full of malicious organisms,” Munger said in an interview with the Australian Financial Review. “I just totally avoid and recommended everybody else follow my example.”

Munger continued his diatribe in the interview, calling crypto an “investment in nothing” that investors would have to be “almost insane” to consider.

“I think anybody that sells this stuff is either delusional or evil. I won’t touch the crypto,” Munger said. “I’m not interested in undermining the national currencies of the world.”

Bitcoin is not secure!
It seems u share your money but he does not share his!
Tread carefully.

Could you suggest he take 10% of the money and invest in Bitcoin as his "fun money?"

BTW, we lost A LOT - I mean, A LOT! - of money in Bitcoin this past year, thinking the same as your husband.

DON'T THINK IT'S A SURE THING! If DH wants to dabble and use a bit for entertainment, fine... but don't do what we did. It was very painful for our relationship, not to mention that we lost money!!

Avoid Bitcoin and any other currency with all your might. You stand to lose everything. You're money is much better off in your building society.
There's many people lauding Bitcoin, what they don't tell you is how much they've lost, and believe me they have all lost.

Another one saying avoid Bitcoin. It's effectively gambling; it sucks you in and then something goes horribly wrong - either it crashes, or you get hacked and you have zero protection. If your DH could afford to play with the money, fine; but as you say that you could really use this money usefully, I would very strongly recommend avoiding Bitcoin unless he is extremely tech-savvy and level-headed. I am speaking from experience of a close family member who lost a lot of money.

This is the voice of reason!