Things have changed so much , so quickly?!

[doodlywoodlydingdong]

I just had my grown up kids around for dinner, not unusual but it got me thinking how much things have changed in the last 3 years. We are a very typical family. I'm 45 , 4 kids aged 13-25. Between me and my DH we have an income of around £34k but very soon it's going to drop by £4k annually.

Three years ago I would go food shopping and buy pretty much whatever I wanted. If I fancied it, it went into the trolley. Full English breakfast every Saturday, big fat roast dinner with a nice joint every Sunday. Two v cheap foreign holidays a year. I enjoyed making our money stretch as far as it possibly could with holiday bargains etc. Christmas was always glorious with loads of food and some nice gifts. Lots of entertaining. fast forward 3 years.

Today I was stood in the kitchen picking the meat off 6 chicken thighs to feed seven adults and a baby. The roast dinner was totally packed out with veg and spuds. Barely any chicken compared to what I would have served 3-4 years ago. I can't stretch to a joint of pork anymore, a whole chicken is a rare treat. So thighs it is. My kids are eating more and more pasta /noodles based dishes with hot dogs as protein. I have to think twice about what is the most efficient method to cook whatever meal it is to save money on the electric. My dogs are now on the cheapest possible kibble I can find. I was actually relieved when my lovely old cat suddenly died (?!) as I wouldn't have to find the extra money for vets fees as she was knocking on a bit. Thats now £ 18 a month I'm saving on litter and food and I feel like a monster for even typing that.

I use the l local food waste project wherever I can, save every penny I can, but ultimately I'm going to have to give up my mobility car as the money would be much better in my pocket . The trade off is that I will then be house bound and that "freed up " money will be going straight to EON from October .

AIBU to have a feeling of almost grief over all of this? It's been very slow and gradual trickling of price increases etc but suddenly it's taken 6 chicken thighs to push me over the edge and be ridiculously angry and upset about how our money can purchase so much less these days?

That's a very low income for 2 working adults. Are you both full time?

I think you are missing the point @Unorthofox

Inflation rates mean you need to be earning about 36k now, to stretch the same distance as 34k last year. Dropping 4k in your family income is going to be a big hit in real terms. If you can avoid that, I would recommend it.

I myself am scrambling to increase my income while also reducing outgoings, merely to feel on an even keel compared to a few years ago.

The lifestyle you've described isn't terribly extravagant on the whole, but it's also not a bad thing to reduce meat eating and flights. (Although I'd prefer the shareholders of large companies to tighten their belts too....)

I think some politicians need to read what @doodlywoodlydingdong has just written. It's very powerful.
They won't. Obviously. But they ought

I agree. This is the sort sort thread that should be picked up by the papers, not the idle gossip.

I don't work, I'm in receipt of highest rates of PIP . My DH works 50 hour weeks and we have two teens left at home, one is about to go to university ( hence the drop in tax credits). We are in a council house, a ridiculously large 5 bedroom that suited us perfectly 5 years ago but now is a giant (very hard to heat) liability. The problem is that is been adapted specifically for me, with an adapted kitchen and bathroom so moving isn't really an option as it was only done 3 years ago. So thankfully the rent is cheap at £97 a week.

I am not a stupid person, I've got a BA and an MA. I am genuinely struggling to get my head around how we as a country have sleep walked into this situation.

We can't avoid the drop in income, but I can cancel it out by not renewing my notability car in November. If I keep the mobility party of my PIP as cash, that will be roughly the same amount BUT the vast majority of it will be going to EON for the price rise in October.

I have relatives who are old enough to have been defrauded of their pensions before the introduction of the protection scheme and have never made up the difference since.

I don't know how we're going to be able to afford helping out all of them especially as their care needs increase.

You started having children at twenty, have four of them, and both you and your husband seem to be on relatively low wages, so it’s not really surprising if you need to think carefully about where the money goes, but cheaper cuts of meat and so on.

If anything it’s surprising that you’ve lasted so long without feeling the pinch, so well done on the budgeting to have got so far.

Your eldest is hopefully standing on their own feet now, and presumably one or two of the middle ones will be ready to leave home soon and make their own way in the world, so hopefully it’s only a couple of years before things get easier again.

Can either of you take on more hours or find a second job?

You have 4 kids and a few pets, I’m surprised you managed as well as you have til now to be honest. That’s a lifestyle many wouldn’t be able to afford.

Yanbu. Life was very good in Europe for a long time.

Then Trump decided to shred American power so he could be Mr Big, and Boris decided to shred British power and get rid of European cheap labour / cheap holidays / cheap imports / cheap food so he could be Mr Big, and meanwhile Putin wasn’t scared of Trump’s America or the Brexit-weakened EU and decided to invade Ukraine so he could feel like Mr Big, and meanwhile no one was tackling climate change, and so animal germs started mutating enough to pass to humans more often, and so covid cost us all a fortune, and suddenly everything was a bit shit. So Boris went on holiday.

It isn’t bad luck though, it’s bad management. The history books are going to have a LOT to say about world leaders in our time, and none of it will be complimentary. And meanwhile what’s China doing? Pondering whether to invade Taiwan. 🙄

Bloody hate men being in charge sometimes. We need fewer boys dreaming of being Mr Big and instead more managers. In fact no one should be allowed to stand for public office unless they’ve excelled at a basic manager job.

Oh dear
i can't stop myself saying it

"Three years ago I would go food shopping and buy pretty much whatever I wanted. If I fancied it, it went into the trolley."

you have been better off than most people, and for a very long time, judging by the age and number of DC.

you're a year younger than me - do you remember the days of heating on an hour a day, hand me downs etc, or did you not have that?

i just can't fathom chucking what you want in a trolley, unless there was previous a massive income. Even if you can, what about saving for a rainy day?

Not at all, I understand what you mean by grief. But I have to say I'm impressed with how you managed to spread £34k across 6 people, 2 foreign holidays a year is impressive!

I use to do this at Aldi. Avoid the centre isles and just shop in the food ones I could afford to buy whatever I wanted and it would easily be under £80. I went two weeks ago and it came to £120. I was existing bells to ring for exceeding £100!!

They don’t care.

Couldn’t you ask people to contribute to the meal? Or don’t cook for everyone. It’s tough on many people, & for some it always has & will be.

That was for you but I forgot to quote.

They don’t care.

I'm an Aldi shopper too

but I still think buying whatever you fancy is a mindset

I hear you op . Feel the same too
Shareholders and fat cat CEOs dropping standards or not buying a leg of lamb for Sunday lunch won't happen , the rich don't care that normal hard working families are being pushed into poverty because it doesn't affect them at all.

I’m sorry OP it’s crap.

FWIW we have an income double yours and even before all this crap we had a lifestyle far far more modest. Treasure the memories of those holidays and security. It has and seems will always be a pipe dream for us!

We don't put nearly as much in our trolley now. Previously I would pop in for a few bits and come out with a lot more than intended, now I come out with only the things I have on my list. I've stopped buying certain brands and I'm eating one meal (although I am also trying to lose weight). I'm gluten free and dairy free so my stuff is way more expensive.

"you're a year younger than me - do you remember the days of heating on an hour a day, hand me downs etc, or did you not have that?

i just can't fathom chucking what you want in a trolley, unless there was previous a massive income. Even if you can, what about saving for a rainy day?"

I'll be honest, growing up my parents ran a small business from home and we were never cold as home running costs were a right off. So we were very lucky. And to be honest when I say buying whatever I wanted I wasn't being radically excessive in marks and Spencer etc, I'm talking about having the luxury of adding £20-30 worth of extras on a whim in Aldi if I fancied it.

I am very concerned about how people with much less are going to cope this year and next. My eldest son doesn't live with us anymore and just lost his job. He gets just under £266 UC a month as he's 24 and has to pay for everything for his flat from that. How is that even possible?I'm praying he gets a job ASAP as we can't even help him beyond offering him the odd meal and if it comes to it, moving back home.

Sadly my DH can't do anymore hours or get another job. He's 59 and a driver, he does 5 x12 hour days a week and is exhausted as he has heart problems. I haven't been able to work in 5 years and I have very complex health needs that mean even working from home is impossible. I did volunteer but covid put a stop to that as I'm CEV with a very weak immune system .

If any of your children are at the point of moving out could you look at downsizing, or if they are 16 or older could they get an after-school or weekend job?

Pretty much sums up how we got to this point.

YANBU to think things have changed very quickly because they have. Nor are YABU to be resentful of having to give up your independence to pay for heating, most people would feel the same.

BUT I have to say I am always confused by these threads that can be basically summed up as "AIBU to be surprised that my household with lower than average income and higher than average expenditure struggles with money?"

You only have one income, at slightly under the average full time salary, when many households of 2 parents living together with kids your age would usually have 2 salaries coming in. You also have 4 kids which is more than double the average. I'm less surprised at the fact that you are struggling now, than that you were doing fine, and could spend without even thinking about it before. This is not to assign any value based judgement on you at all - obviously any needs you have that mean you struggle to work are completely understandable and if you have managed to be awarded the highest level of PIP when it's notoriously hard to get then you deserve every penny of it. Similarly there's nothing wrong with having 4 kids, and you must be doing something right if the oldest 2 are independent enough to live elsewhere despite being in their early 20s, when so many young people that age now live at home. Honestly you are lucky to have such low rent, a lot of people on a lower income than you would be paying double that for a 1 or 2 bed, let alone a 5 bed!

But just from a purely statistical point of view - YABU to be surprised that you struggle to feed and house 3 adults and a teenager (plus occasionally feed 2 other adults) and maintain a large house on 1 person's salary.

Can you completely shut off heating to the rooms you don't use to save money that way? Or do anything on the MN or MSE money threads to earn a few spare quid a day to be able to buy things like meat for the occasional family dinner, even if your day to day shopping has to be cut back?

I don’t think YABU in the slightest. Things are looking grim

I know no one wants to hear this right now. But as someone not born British, I think British people are going to have to learn to live like the rest of the world.
Less meat
Fewer foreign hols
Fewer pets
Smaller houses
No buying whatever you want