Things have changed so much , so quickly?!

[doodlywoodlydingdong]

I just had my grown up kids around for dinner, not unusual but it got me thinking how much things have changed in the last 3 years. We are a very typical family. I'm 45 , 4 kids aged 13-25. Between me and my DH we have an income of around £34k but very soon it's going to drop by £4k annually.

Three years ago I would go food shopping and buy pretty much whatever I wanted. If I fancied it, it went into the trolley. Full English breakfast every Saturday, big fat roast dinner with a nice joint every Sunday. Two v cheap foreign holidays a year. I enjoyed making our money stretch as far as it possibly could with holiday bargains etc. Christmas was always glorious with loads of food and some nice gifts. Lots of entertaining. fast forward 3 years.

Today I was stood in the kitchen picking the meat off 6 chicken thighs to feed seven adults and a baby. The roast dinner was totally packed out with veg and spuds. Barely any chicken compared to what I would have served 3-4 years ago. I can't stretch to a joint of pork anymore, a whole chicken is a rare treat. So thighs it is. My kids are eating more and more pasta /noodles based dishes with hot dogs as protein. I have to think twice about what is the most efficient method to cook whatever meal it is to save money on the electric. My dogs are now on the cheapest possible kibble I can find. I was actually relieved when my lovely old cat suddenly died (?!) as I wouldn't have to find the extra money for vets fees as she was knocking on a bit. Thats now £ 18 a month I'm saving on litter and food and I feel like a monster for even typing that.

I use the l local food waste project wherever I can, save every penny I can, but ultimately I'm going to have to give up my mobility car as the money would be much better in my pocket . The trade off is that I will then be house bound and that "freed up " money will be going straight to EON from October .

AIBU to have a feeling of almost grief over all of this? It's been very slow and gradual trickling of price increases etc but suddenly it's taken 6 chicken thighs to push me over the edge and be ridiculously angry and upset about how our money can purchase so much less these days?

Because the poster is judgy twat despite saying they arent.

Agreed though I can’t say I am delighted by it though rarely went abroad anyway so that’s not an issue. I won’t be parting my with my cats though. They are very much part of our family.

I am now enforcing far more walking to shorter distance places on the kids though we did walk a lot anyway. We have stopped wasting food. Cut back on takeaways to the point it’s a total no. Rarely go to paid activities anymore. The kids get swimming lessons at £120 a month. I will continue with these as long as possible but now take them much more myself as it’s included in our family gym membership at £34 a month. This also includes loads of kids activities such as football and athletics that my kids go to.

Sadly I think you’re right

I was the youngest of four born to a single parent who only had her low wages. She didnt get any maintenance.

We didnt have much, no car but public transport was very cheap..... We'd often get the bus to the beach after school for a few pence...... The same journey would cost £10 just for ds and I. There wasnt much for extras. But we always had food, we always had Christmas, we got days out and a holiday each year. Usually to somewhere like Butlins but as we got older we'd go abroad. Only to eurocamp type places and on a very low budget but we got there. We didnt have central heating but the gas fires were always on in winter, our home wasnt ever cold. House repairs were done on an ad hoc basis.

We had pets. An ancient dog, cats, Guinea pigs and budgies. All fed and cared for at the vets if needed. My dc have never had a pet.

My mum benefitted from two things, she had a very low and affordable mortgage. And because people werent needing to work into their 70s to survive she had my nana. So no childcare costs...... I seem to be living in some sort of parallel universe now where expectations and standards of living have gone backwards.

Like some other posters I am finding it hard to fathom what point the OP is making. Unless there is a massive drip feed and they used to earn a lot more, it seems that OP and her family have benefited from extremely low housing costs and significant levels of benefits that have allowed them to live a very comfortable lifestyle. The fact she has 4 children and pets suggests that they have taken full advantage of the benefits available from the government. I can see it must be extremely galling for those posters who may have wanted 4 children or have never had very cheap housing made available to them to see someone complaining about essentially having to cut their cloth

This is a good idea, I bet there is a family out there in similar need of an adapted home in exchange for a bungalow

The issue is that those in charge or on huge City salaries will NEVER understand. I was thinking the other day about percentage increases in salaries and food and what it actually means for different people. Compare the increase in take home pay in 2 situations, both people getting a 3% pay increase:

Someone on 100k (approx £65,596 take home). Their pay increases to £103,000, which is approx £67,659 take home). This is a take home pay difference of £2063.

Someone on 30k (approx £24,204 take home). Their pay increases to £30,900 which is approx £24,805 take home). This is a take home pay difference of just £601.

The first person's take home increases by £2063. The second person's take home pay increases by £601, quite the difference. For people in the first category it's unlikely, then, that they're going to notice the effects of inflation as much as someone on a much lower salary whose salary increases don't actually MEAN particularly much in real life, who has already cut out luxuries and is looking to their pay increase to cover the essentials of like food, fuel and heating.

The more well off will say "oh well, I do have a large mortgage to pay you know, we NEED that big salary increase." They don't stop to think that if needs be they CAN always downsize to reduce their mortgage. Or change their car from a luxury new one to something more economical. Or stop the pony lessons, or only go on a skiing holiday every other year. Or make a few less trips to Waitrose and M&S, and shop in Aldi more instead.

When you're already IN the smallest house that your family can fit in, in the cheapest area - before your payrise - and when you have ALREADY sold your car to save on petrol and upkeep and when you have ALREADY turned the heating off except for an hour a day, and when you ALREADY shop for yellow labels, or economy brands, or even go without meals sometimes so your kids can eat etc etc, that £600 a year pay rise doesn't actually really go very far at all to cover inflationary rises of their basic spending.

Perhaps it's time to freeze the pay of those individuals on the very highest salaries and maybe they'd then start to feel it a bit.

I was going to suggest the lodger option. Op you say you have the space, that would be a good start for additional income?

Completely utterly understand, it feels rubbish.

OFGS. People take consideration and deal with your own requirements. 4 children. 2 dogs. If you can't afford without support don't have them.

This isn't a government issue it's about personal responsibility.

It's really tough OP.

Would you consider a female lodger?

Is there any way you could take on virtual PA type work from home - I do know you say that's hard with your condition, but I'm wondering if even a day or two would be possible?

Or maybe she could give the underoccupied 5bedroom 97 a week properly back to tne council and ask to move to a small adaptable home?

she said she doesn’t even use a floor
like is this a joke? Do you know how many overcrowded families would love a 5 bedroom house FOR 97 A WEEK

Honestly it’s a joke

I agree. I don't see what point the OP is trying to make.

£400/month rent.
£2500/month take home after tax?
I'm not sure if the £2500/month includes the mobility car benefit.

I am all for flaying the Tories- Rishi Sunak makes me gag- but inflation is currently very, very high across the world. I have friends and family in many countries, and they are all finding it hard. We are in for a global recession. A big one.

I seem to be living in some sort of parallel universe now where expectations and standards of living have gone backwards.

They have, and rapidly. I imagine us as a 2 tier society soon enough if things don't change. Those on the higher salaries who want to keep themselves up at the top of society at any cost, and everyone else being the worker bees.

I agree with you Tabbouleh

I have lived in a few countries and family is mixed we don’t always realise how lucky we are in the west.

but the UK has a lot of money there is wealth and we should be doing better

saying that I think there has started to be a shift on the world in the last 15 years of where the wealth is, where growth is and where power and this is. Especially in the last five years this have very much changes

I have family and friends all over the world they are all worried too, in US the rising costs, those in Far East of China, in Europe costs of living and Putin (I don’t think we worry in quite the same way), Australia cost of living

Driving through parts of south London today it looked depressed, so many closed down shops

Exactly this some people on here are so horrible.
Op Asda now have a yellow homebrand I got a whole chicken last week for £1.82 you can make a lovely roast and feed the dog try not to give up your car how will you get your shopping ect?

I actually think this must be one of those wind up threads.
No one goes on 2 foreign holidays a year with 4 kids . We have an income double op's and four kids and have had very few foreign holidays.
Maybe op means a 34k income then a load of tax credits on top over the years?

Supermarket delivery for a couple of quid?

Yeah but have you had to eat chicken thighs rather than a whole joint? It’s a real travesty. really brings it home that things are going downhill fast

Op has explained they did Eurocamp in May.

You can't win on Mumsnet OP.
Everybody wants all the costs to stay down so they want people like your husband to be on a low wage while he does his job so costs for him to work stay down rather than support him being on a decent wage with his essential job.
But at the same time, they hate the fact his low wage means you need benefits, so they want him to keep his poorly paid job & for you to get another poorly paid job so they don't feel like they are supporting you.

As best I can figure out, nobody is good enough to 'deserve' social housing for Mumsnetters, because I've never yet seen a single person admit they are in social housing who wasn't told they shouldn't have it.

I really wish some of these people who resent the not-all-that-much that disabled people get, had to live the shitty reality of a life with disabilities.
They'd find it a poor bargain.

I'm also really sick & tired of idiots who don't understand a disabled person may well already have worked & paid taxes for longer than some of the most vicious & judgy on here have been alive before becoming disabled.

I worked, paid a lot of taxes & employed quite a lot of people before I became disabled.
It can happen to anyone.
One day, some of them will be disabled & I hope they get the same nasty treatment they are handing out.

PIP isn't pocket money.
People who get it have extra costs that people not on PIP don't have.
It isn't the same as someone without those disabilities getting that amount of extra money.

Costs have gone up shockingly & it does seem fast, but sadly I think you'll be looking back at now in a couple of years & remembering it as better times when you could afford 6 chicken thighs, so if there is anything you can do to tighten your belt, this is a good time to try it.

I hope you find a way through.

Exactly !

Thanks for saying that.