Things have changed so much , so quickly?!

[doodlywoodlydingdong]

I just had my grown up kids around for dinner, not unusual but it got me thinking how much things have changed in the last 3 years. We are a very typical family. I'm 45 , 4 kids aged 13-25. Between me and my DH we have an income of around £34k but very soon it's going to drop by £4k annually.

Three years ago I would go food shopping and buy pretty much whatever I wanted. If I fancied it, it went into the trolley. Full English breakfast every Saturday, big fat roast dinner with a nice joint every Sunday. Two v cheap foreign holidays a year. I enjoyed making our money stretch as far as it possibly could with holiday bargains etc. Christmas was always glorious with loads of food and some nice gifts. Lots of entertaining. fast forward 3 years.

Today I was stood in the kitchen picking the meat off 6 chicken thighs to feed seven adults and a baby. The roast dinner was totally packed out with veg and spuds. Barely any chicken compared to what I would have served 3-4 years ago. I can't stretch to a joint of pork anymore, a whole chicken is a rare treat. So thighs it is. My kids are eating more and more pasta /noodles based dishes with hot dogs as protein. I have to think twice about what is the most efficient method to cook whatever meal it is to save money on the electric. My dogs are now on the cheapest possible kibble I can find. I was actually relieved when my lovely old cat suddenly died (?!) as I wouldn't have to find the extra money for vets fees as she was knocking on a bit. Thats now £ 18 a month I'm saving on litter and food and I feel like a monster for even typing that.

I use the l local food waste project wherever I can, save every penny I can, but ultimately I'm going to have to give up my mobility car as the money would be much better in my pocket . The trade off is that I will then be house bound and that "freed up " money will be going straight to EON from October .

AIBU to have a feeling of almost grief over all of this? It's been very slow and gradual trickling of price increases etc but suddenly it's taken 6 chicken thighs to push me over the edge and be ridiculously angry and upset about how our money can purchase so much less these days?

Also how about a female lodger?

You have lots of spare room.

Haven't read the thread but my predictions are -
Posters telling the OP how lucky she is and that she's still got more than them so boohoo.
How well still be living the life of luxury compared to people in Sudan.
Any other gullible Tory shite people are STILL (ffs) stupid enough to believe about how great things are and it's better than anywhere else.

We get what we vote for OP and it didn't have to be this bad.

I'm really intrigued to know if this is accurate...?

Slightly off topic but did your grown up kids contribute? Seven adults is a lot to feed.

It's all very well people saying £2600 a month with very low rent should be plenty to get by but if you add it up as they have a big family I bet rent and all bills including high utilities, council tax etc are coming to £1400 when you then add in running a car, fuel, food for biggish family ,paying for 2 kids still at home plus pets etc -- £1200 is not a huge amount- whereas for a couple it would be totally fine.

The problem is situations change and people often have pets when their finances are fine, same with children.

I dont really have suggestions OP, other than make sure you don't hear empty rooms and look to make money on the bits you can do. Also don't automatically pay a huge gas/electric DD without checking what you are actually using. The DD suggested to us is over double what our bills actually are- hence I'm loading the account myself and sending monthly bills in .

Disabled people are still allowed to have some sort of life. I am very careful wherever I go, I was mask wearing before corona. You know, I forgot how shockingly judgemental Mumsnet can be if you are disabled. I'll just sit in my house for the rest of my life yeah? god forbid somebody on chemo goes on holiday.

Quite glad I'm so resilient tbh as people can be right mean arseholes on here 😂🤷🏼‍♀️

Without commenting on the OP's personal circumstances, I agree, things have changed very fast, and they are going to carry on changing very fast for a couple of years or more yet.

I imagine that there will be vast numbers of people defaulting on their mortgages, being unable to find anywhere to rent, and having to wait for eviction by the mortgage provider before being put in an emergency hostel or council B&B. It is going to get ugly.

My advice to anyone who feels they are already living 'on the edge' is to think the unthinkable and change your life arrangements NOW. Make the hard decisions before they are made for you.
Downsize your house and make the kids share a bedroom. Do a council-house (or HA) swap. Try to cut out the commute by either living nearer to work or getting a job nearer home - so that if you have to sell the car you can walk/cycle/bus to work.
Sell your expensive phone and get a cheaper model on a cheaper contract.

Learn how to grow tomatoes so that you never buy them. Same for strawberries. (Obviously you will only eat these in season). If you have a garden, get more ambitious with grow-your-own. Grow the high-value stuff that you can't afford to buy like soft fruit, salad, green beans, leafy greens.

There is a learning-curve to knowing how to live frugally, so the sooner you start the sooner you will be learning.

Not really, that’s on average 17k per adult.

Your thread’s really touched me @doodlywoodlydingdong. I can’t believe how cruel some of the posts are.

Then why even mention it??

People have been mean arseholes OP!

OP is disabled, her husband works hard, they're socially housed which keeps their costs lower as well as meaning they haven't cashed in on property prices and will likely have no massive capital for retirement. They're raising four kids, at least one of which has been out in the world, being g independent and working until recently. They've cut their cloth and managed heir finances well enough to be ble to afford cheap, out of season, self catering camping holidays to give their children some experiences and memories...

(forgive me OP) These people sound like the epitome of those "who really need it and make the right decisions" that benefit bathers always cite as the reason they're not total arseholes.

And now people are bitching because they've managed to live like this, quite contendely, for a good few years?!!!

It absolutely beggars belief. These attitudes are the reason the country is royally screwed.

I'm sorry things are shit OP. And that people are shitty. You've every right to be miffed. If this lot think that financially responsible disabled people can't expect to ever be able to afford to chuck the odd thing in the trolley on a whim occasionally or ever leave the country, its worse than we thought.

Things have altered a lot and will get worse I think.

This.

@doodlywoodlydingdong I think it's a very anxiety making world at the moment, so I would try to let nasty comments float over you. A lot of people who got by pretty nicely are finding things have tightened considerably -I know several people who had nice little 'sidelines' that made life quite comfortable in addition to a partners average ish wage- those sidelines have gone- a combination of in some cases Brexit and in some cases covid- and the custom never really came back . Also a few whose main businesses haven't really recovered post Brexit/covid and whose incomes are down a lot- whilst expenses are up. It's made many people anxious and in some cases rather lacking in empathy, especially for households where both people aren't working full time or taking in lodgers etc!!

I would add to this: If you are thinking of having another child, think very carefully.

There’s been a fair bit of drip feeding in this thread.

Could your 24 year old son move back home, to save his housing costs?

Or, I'd suggest asking LA if you could move to smaller accommodation, even if it requires adaptations

Unfortunately, I agree with PP that raising a large family on one not particularly high salary will always be a challenge

I know that feeling. I took my girls out today as we needed things in town. Before, I would have bought lunch out and got them a few treats. But today we took a packed lunch and made sure we were home in time for dinner, it made me sad i couldn't buy them the bubble tea they love but £4 each wasn't possible on our current budget.

I just wanted to add that you don't necessarily need meat for protein. We eat alot of beans, lentils and quorn (goes much further than meat mince). My daughter is vegetarian, I am gluten and dairy free and we can do a food shop for around £50 a week with a few treats in aldi/Iceland. Alot of our meals are potato or rice based as they are cheap and filling!

I knew someone who took in lodgers in the 90s : I know it's something I couldn't have done , but they got a lot of out of having students around and it worked out ok for them
I know that opening up my home wouldn't be for me , but we're all different and it can pay off
You have to weigh up the pros and cons.

I don't think it can be. I earn £1.5k a year more than the OP's annual income and my take home pay is less than £2200 a month after deductions, including pension contributions.

I am On a combined income of around 80k. I do have a lot of disposable income after bills are paid. However the food shopping is becoming more difficult, fridge and cupboards constantly seem empty and needing another shop. I genuinely do not know how the poorest families will survive. I am desperately awaiting pay day tomorrow to pay some bills which I usually would have paid before. But with things like school uniforms I couldn’t do it. I cannot grumble we have a great lifestyle and feel v lucky, but I think most days about those who don’t have much, as if we are feeling the pinch I cannot imagine how it must be for others. I have recently taken to selling my soul, ahem I mean selling items like good quality kids clothes for a few quid. Every little helps.

I completely agree with you OP.

If you had told me in early 2016 that by now we would be dealing with the economic consequences of Brexit, then Covid, then the invasion of Ukraine it would have seemed crazy.

It’s grim and really difficult to take on board. You have my sympathy.

What does 'shred power' actually mean?

Well said @Bluebells12