Re children in restaurant

[Arbesque]

Four of us booked a table in an expensive restaurant last night for 7.30.
About 10 minutes after we'd sat down a couple came in pushing a buggy and with 2 other children in tow. They were seated at the table beside us.
One child kept bashing his spoon off the table, another kept crawling along the wide windowsill so that he was right behind my head, and the baby was kept amused by the father playing peek a boo while she screamed excitedly. This went on and on.

We asked to be moved to another table. There were none available.Then the baby started crying loudly and the toddler got tired and cranky and joined the wailing.

We left without dessert and complained on the way out. They knocked the price of a bottle of wine off our bill.

AIBU to think expensive restaurants, charging a fortune, should have a policy for dealing with situations like this?

We paid a lot of money for a meal we couldn't enjoy.

Yanbu, it's annoying when I get a rare evening away from my own kids, then have to sit and listen to someone else's noisy kids. It's expected in places like McDonald's but not more special places. I don't mind a bit of babble and chatter if they're just sitting there, but not screaming or kids messing about.

There's a compromise to be had here for instance no under 12's after 8pm. Means families aren't excluded from good restaurants but tired children aren't disturbing the main evening dining service

You sounds incredibly bitter. As though only you have the right to go to expensive restaurants.

They were also paying customers and should be allowed to spend their money whereever.

Do you think those with disabilities who might make noises, should also be banned?

That’s why they’re accommodated, because they’re taught how to behave properly when out

Agree. It's often pointed out that med countries are much more welcoming of children in restaurants. It's also remarkable to me how generally well behaved and delightful the are. And if they're not, the problem is dealt with immediately by the parent responsible. See, that's what doesn't always happen in this country.

Are parents ‘entitled’ to a nice meal out?
I was born in 1960 and my parents never took me and sibling out for a meal they simply couldn’t afford it.
My children were born in the 1990’s and I didn’t take them to good restaurants until they were 7/8 and able to sit and talk nicely.
Funnily enough we have all grown up not feeling deprived or that we have missed out on anything.
I think sometimes people expect too much nowadays.

Which I get to a point but kids are kids. Yea don’t get me wrong I don’t want to be around a pack of feral kids but if I’m out with a group my focus is on that and what other people or children are doing isn’t a bother to me.

indont get the attitude of this meal costs a lot therefore I have the right to dictate how I expect the restaurant to be for me. There is no consideration for other people there just absence of self

*Just a sense of self

God forbid that something shouldn't revolve around children and that adults want to have a peaceful meal!

I work for a pub company with around 900 venues across the UK and we definitely have some which do not allow Under 21s at any time.

Don't know if I'd call them expensive

Exactly right!

Wtaf???

4.30-5pm?

What do you do for a living?

Dh rarely got back before 8pm when he was working in this country. I don’t know anyone in F/T jobs who could go out as a family at 4.30pm
Even Dd wasn’t back from school til 5pm

I hate going to restaurants where it is quiet.

I agree with everyone who says Spain, Italy etc are so much more relaxed around children and eating out is so much more enjoyable

I grew up in an area that won’t let children in the garden or outside area of a pub or restaurant let alone crossing the threshold to go inside.

I hated it growing up.

YANBU Op. When Gds was younger there was no way we’d ever have taken him to that sort of restaurant at any time, because there was no way the Human Hurricane would sit at the table for longer than it took him to eat. So it was occasional summertime pubs with gardens only.

By about 5 he knew how he was expected to behave, and does, but 7.30 would still be too late, he’d be too tired.

IMO the trouble is that too many U.K. parents seem to think that their children should be allowed to behave exactly as they please, no matter where they happen to be - including running around, screaming, banging, etc. - and anyone who dares to object is branded an evil child hater.

From experience in Spain and Greece in summer, a lot of eating out takes place out of doors in squares or piazzas, where there’s plenty of space for children to run around - and when it’s late-ish in the evening, many will presumably have had an afternoon nap, anyway.

The UK really is a ‘children should be seen and not heard’ sort of place. You definitely don’t see this sort of attitude on the continent or in other cultures (specifically south Asian)

I don't know why people go on about Italy and Spain on these kinds of posts because there are a lot of restaurants in both countries which are absolutely not family friendly, and in which noisy children would most certainly not be welcomed.

You don't take your kids to a fancy restaurant to teach them how to behave, you take your kids to a fancy restaurant once they know how to behave.

I'm with you OP. I'd not have been impressed at all.

I would not book a seven thirty pm table with a baby and toddler. It’s never going to go well.

This. It’s not about disliking kids or not wanting them in restaurants. It’s about respect for other diners. Not everyone wants to admire little Arlo’s crawling or climbing skills, and not everyone wants to hear dad doing his performance parenting either.

People who say “kids should be in bed by 7” are the same people who wonder why their kids wake up at 5am…

Not all families follow the same routine.

Ours go to bed around 10, get up at 7am/8am, it works perfectly and their mealtimes are in sync with ours. No way in hell we’d be booking dinner at 5:30 because of some weird dogma about “baby bedtime”.

We were at a restaurant in holiday. A young couple came in with a baby in a pram and let the poor child cry the whole time. Didn’t pick the baby up or acknowledge it. The yells were ear splitting. It was off putting as you feel the need to get away from it and can’t have a conversation etc.

I was taken to restaurants later at night but I had to be well behaved. My parents would not have tolerated me getting up and being loud around other guests. Amazingly, I was able to obey. I remember times being very bored and desperate to go. Other times, I really enjoyed it. As I got a bit older, I was allowed to take a book with me to read after finishing eating.

I have 3 children and agree with you OP. I would NEVER take mine to an expensive restaurant. Cafes/family friendly pubs yes, the Ivy etc no chance.

you can never predict how children will behave. I feel guilty enough if they’re disruptive in a cafe as I’m conscious it’s extremely annoying to listen to kids whinging. I either take the whingy one out or would wrap up the meal asap

If the restaurant doesn't have a no children policy then what are you complaining about? Kids are noisy - it's completely normal. Next time look for a no children allowed restaurant.

OP, you just scream of utter entitlement. If you can't deal with noise, especially from families with young children then perhaps the next time you want to go to an expensive restaurant you should call ahead and explicitly state that you do not want to be seated anywhere near families with young children.
This would also work for the families with young children who would probably prefer to be nowhere near you and the restaurant who won't have to give you any freebies A
win win for

Erm the weekend?!

When people say it’s ok in Italy and Spain I think you’ll find that it’s not ok in fine dining places there either. And they don’t tolerate bad behaviour either. There’s a difference between a bit of excess noise and children being out of their seats and not being supervised properly. Sometimes you have to eat past the kids bedtime and they might be a bit grumpy but just go to a family friendly restaurant!