Re children in restaurant

[Arbesque]

Four of us booked a table in an expensive restaurant last night for 7.30.
About 10 minutes after we'd sat down a couple came in pushing a buggy and with 2 other children in tow. They were seated at the table beside us.
One child kept bashing his spoon off the table, another kept crawling along the wide windowsill so that he was right behind my head, and the baby was kept amused by the father playing peek a boo while she screamed excitedly. This went on and on.

We asked to be moved to another table. There were none available.Then the baby started crying loudly and the toddler got tired and cranky and joined the wailing.

We left without dessert and complained on the way out. They knocked the price of a bottle of wine off our bill.

AIBU to think expensive restaurants, charging a fortune, should have a policy for dealing with situations like this?

We paid a lot of money for a meal we couldn't enjoy.

TigerRag I agree with you. Sometimes people save for ages to afford an evening out and don't want it ruined by screening children. Some restaurants cater for families with young children and that is where they should go. Restaurants should do what pubs do and ban children - if only after 7pm. There are many places that are child friendly, evening restaurants are not

Im sorry OP, that sounds so terrible. I mean it is isn't it, the end of the world!! That your meal was completely and utterly ruined by your own negative attitude towards something that last maybe an hour or two tops?

I find it so odd how people are so impatient and quick to get upset over such small issues. Things like this don’t bother you when you have a positive and happy attitude towards life and don’t let small things effect you to the point where you ask the waiter for money off your meal. You’ll never see that family again but you’ve dedicated an entire mumsnet thread to them, ruined your own evening by caring so much about a child on a windowsill and some wailing to the point you didn’t even have dessert 😂😭

Yeah i mean kids can be annoying but some of the responses on this thread are really something else! Poor poor OP. This is the longest first world problem thread I’ve seen in a while. Hilarious.

YANBU I can not believe some people are saying you should have just accepted a very young child crawling along a windowsill behind your head. What parent would let their kid get so far away as to do that?

I do believe that there should be a certain standard of behaviour. I was in a local greasy cafe earlier, and someone let their kid grab the service bell off the counter and run riot with it... DING DING DING... for ages.
FFS, keep your kids under control. There are staff and customers walking about with hot food and hot drinks.

Ha ha ha yes! Exactly!!!! Such a minor first world problem to have to deal with. Poor poor OP.

Children of such a young age should be in bed at that time... I would have told them to stop their kids disrupting other diners and calm them down and have some respect, or just got up and left. Owner should have stepped in.

Posters on here are talking about how can you expect children to behave if you don't take them to restaurants. You start by teaching them at home. Surely you don't allow them to crawl over furniture at the table at home? etc etc.
I have lived in Spain and agree with what a lot has been said, but some how there, it is different Places are not as confined, there are more family members to take care of the little ones. But here in England. I think the table manners are appalling, and that's just the adults. People don't even know how to hold cutlery properly, ( that's if any is provided)
But I'm sorry surely there has to be a time limit up to when it is acceptable for children to dine. But that is up to the individual restaurant to decide.

My kids are grown adults now but I would never have taken them somewhere if I even thought there might be the possibility that they would disturb other diners when they were babies/toddlers but once they were a little older they knew they had to be quiet/behave themselves and we would keep them entertained, not with noisy games or screens but by talking to them or taking colouring books or reading books when they were older.
Never once did my children disturb another diner and if anyone had done so much as tut at them, we'd have been mortified and would have left halfway through our meals.
I can't see why parents think it's ok to let their little darlings run riot in public, there's absolutely no need for it.

Screaming kids in restaurants used to really piss me off. We would pointedly move tables if a family with young children sat near us because I couldn't stand the inevitable scuffling and shuffling and squawking and general commotion. Then I had children myself and, suddenly, my brain seemed to magically block out all such background noise. 'More wine madam' though - I usually heard that.

OP go to the kind of place that respectable working-class families go to. This will not happen. It is a certain kind of middle-class family who thinks everyone should put up with their children's behaviour.
We went out for an Indian meal as a family tonight. There were several other families there with young children. It was not a posh place, but all ordinary working-class families would never let their children behave in this way.
We stopped going to Pizza Express because of the kids behaviour there.

And kids learn how to behave at restaurants by first learning how to eat dinner at home. If they can not sit and eat a meal at home without being very noisy and difficult, they are unlikely to do it in a restaurant.

I don't even know where to start with this!

Another tone deaf post.
How do you not understand that people who have got past the toddler stage don't want other people's toddlers crawling around them while they are eating?

The issue here is less about how the children behave, and more about what the parents do to mitigate their behaviour.

Children are like dogs. Not everyone wants to be around them all the time, and some parents are like dog owners and can't possibly understand why not everyone loves them the way they do.

I don't think it's tone deaf I think it's deliberately spiteful.

What's spiteful about wanting a meal without other people's children crawling around you?

The place to teach children table manners and how to behave at a grown up dinner table is at home, NOT at a fancy restaurant where others have had to dig deep into their pockets for what maybe a once a year, if that, treat for a special celebration.
Children can then be taken out to dine with some sort of reliability that they can/will behave appropriately. Sadly, very few families eat formal meals at home any more so their offspring are clueless when taken into a restaurant.

If that’s how they let little Arlo behave in a fancy restaurant, I wonder what else their little darling gets away with.

These are the type of parents who I imagine let their little angel climb all over their pet dog, squeeze the fish, chase and kick at pigeons, as they’re just ‘expressing themselves’! 😏

@RampantIvy oh no I understand why the OP was annoyed but to be leaving early, skip dessert, ask for money off??? seething upset, to me its a ridiculous overreaction. So there were kids crying, bad luck. My main point is ITS NOT A BIG DEAL, when little things like this grate on you this much it must be draining to live life.

I wouldn't have asked for money off, no. DH has issues with loud noises (TBH I think he is on the autism spectrum, and little things like this do unreasonably affect him) so he would have wanted to leave as soon as he had finished eating.

I still don't think this is being spiteful.

YANBU. This is one of my pet hates & I have two young children myself. If your children can't sit nicely and behave well in a restaurant - don't take them. Especially not during the evening when people often go out for a peaceful meal. I say this both as a parent and as someone who has worked in many restaurants and had to avoid tripping over children who are running around, whilst I'm carrying hot plates and drinks.

Probably the same sort of parents who thinks any form of discipline is "abuse" 🙄 and then wonders why their little darling is such a twat.

It does sound annoying and maybe the parents were doing a poor job of keeping their children happy but I don't think it's fair to single out kids as a problem.

I find many things in restaurants annoying- the other day I was in an expensive restaurant (with my baby who gully enjoyed her meal!) and was totally put off by a table of bloke ish guys who seemed to roar with laughter and smack the table so loud it made me jump every 5 minutes

Should a restaurant have a policy for middle aged men who think they're American frat bros too?

OMG expensive restaurants are not just for adults, find an adults only restaurant. Instead of batching couldn't you have engaged with tge children? I find if I engage with kids and families I have a much nicer time and so do they.
Yabu. Paying a big price doesn't mean something is exclusive to you.
Privileged or what?

@RampantIvy i think that poster meant i was being spiteful, dont think they know what spiteful means

Your lovely positive attitude just oozes from the tone of your thread.

Instead of batching couldn't you have engaged with tge children?

This comes up a lot (on the camping thread OP was told she should’ve looked after the kids herself or done the family’s shopping for them), and I don’t get how people can be so self-absorbed as to think that strangers will get joy out of doing the parenting or adulting (for want of a better word) for whoever is ruining the experience they’re paying for. Many people on this thread have said that if they’ve paid for childcare, they don’t want to do it for some rando’s kids. I mean good for you if you’re a saintly person who would get joy out of it but I imagine most people don’t feel happy if they’re paying for expensive food and parenting some hapless couple’s kids for them.