Re children in restaurant

[Arbesque]

Four of us booked a table in an expensive restaurant last night for 7.30.
About 10 minutes after we'd sat down a couple came in pushing a buggy and with 2 other children in tow. They were seated at the table beside us.
One child kept bashing his spoon off the table, another kept crawling along the wide windowsill so that he was right behind my head, and the baby was kept amused by the father playing peek a boo while she screamed excitedly. This went on and on.

We asked to be moved to another table. There were none available.Then the baby started crying loudly and the toddler got tired and cranky and joined the wailing.

We left without dessert and complained on the way out. They knocked the price of a bottle of wine off our bill.

AIBU to think expensive restaurants, charging a fortune, should have a policy for dealing with situations like this?

We paid a lot of money for a meal we couldn't enjoy.

And if they're not, the problem is dealt with immediately by the parent responsible. See, that's what doesn't always happen in this country.

And clearly didn’t happen in the situation @Arbesque experienced.

You really can't touch other people's children. What is wrong with you? Asking for a bit of quiet is one thing but taking things off them.....no way.

I wouldn't have dreamed of taking mine to an expensive restaurant when he was little, a waste of money for a start! When they're that age take them to Hungry Horse or Pizza Hut or something. There are a million chain restaurant choices available.

Who on earth do you think you are to actually think that you have the right to try to parent someone else's children?

They do in Italy, Spain etc. If you want the nice 'children are welcome' attitude, you gotta accept the 'everyone can discipline them' price.

Some names crop up a lot of any threads to do with noise from children or neighbours. I always think those people that comment on a lot of these threads and/or start those threads are probably quite intolerant as they’re a bit obsessed with any noise.

Doesn't even need to be a chain. There's several independents nearby that do a great job of welcoming DC.

I have 3 young children, I wouldn't go to a "posh" restaurant but we do eat out sometimes at middle of the road nice pubs where people might go for a nice meal. Sometimes our children are fab other times (the youngest mainly) just doesn't fancy playing ball. One of us will take them outside if they are crying and we often eat in relay in this situation. Whilst I kind of think a swanky place isn't the place to take young children out for tea and the parents probably should have relayed, I'm not sure you can complain and expect a discount from the restaurant if the restaurant isn't a childfree venue. Childfree restaurants do exist, maybe pick one of these, they do tend to be quite swanky so probably more the sort of place you had in mind for your posh meal.

You do know People work weekends right?

Who on earth do you think you are to actually think that you have the right to try to parent someone else's children?

I don't personally, but I sure as hell wish some parents would actually parent their children. Some kids never hear the word no.

Restaurants are not children's playgrounds and if they need constant attention, over excitement etc, it's going to really piss off other customers as well as the staff. 7:30pm in my eyes is bed time for toddlers and if you don't have a baby sitter, then don't go out at bedtime. It's hardly a necessity to eat out.
We used to take ours to all kinds of restaurants but we did lunches, not evening meals. If there was the beginning of restless behaviour, one of us would take them out for a quick run about outside and we chose our restaurants with this sort of thing in mind.

Who on earth do you think you are to actually think that you have the right to try to parent someone else's children?

you lot (this quote representative of all those who let their offspring disturb people "because children") are hilarious.

The "parents" are clearly not parenting are they? the poor little sods need someone to teach them.

And if you are also one of those who laud the attitude in Italy, you may like to know that's where i a) first saw that happen (nonna at another leans over and removes fork from baby bashing the table with it when the parents were ignoring it) and b) have been in high-end restaurants in Italy who have headed parents with babies/small kids off at the door recommending a more appropriate place further down the street with a kind but firm smile.

But sure. Next time i see a toddler make a break for it and head for a busy road i won't dare to try to parent or, god forbid, try to stop them [irony: of course i would]

Those parents shouldn't have brought children of that age to such a restaurant, it's not fair on the other diners.

It doesn’t sound THAT bad

But I agree that babies don’t belong in expensive restaurants in the evenings, it’s annoying to have splashed out and then have to listen to crying - your local trattoria is different.

I'm not usually in agreement to these sorts of threads but I think given the time if day it was too late to sit down to begin a meal with three young children. You also shouldn't have to ask repeatedly to stop a child from climbing near your table, and the table banging should have been stopped.

Agree with this.

So many in the UK still want children to be seen (when acceptable to them) and not heard

Who on earth do you think you are to actually think that you have the right to try to parent someone else's children?

If people actually did parenting themselves then other people wouldn't need to step in and manage their parenting failures.

The experiences some are referring to in Spain, Italy, Greece etc. are on Summer holidays when everyone is eating OUTDOORS, in the sunshine and all are in a good mood. It is a much more pleasant experience for both adults and kids than sitting inside a restaurant in damp cold Britain!

I am with the camp that thinks adults only in restaurants that serve booze. Plenty of other places to bring kids, they are not losing out at all.

YANBU! Parents can keep to the family focused places. Sounds very annoying but I would be telling the kids off myself if they came close enough to disturb our table.

There needs to be adult only spaces and expensive restaurants and bars in the evening should be that. Well-behaved/older kids, obviously different.

OP, you just scream of utter entitlement
I think a number of posters on MN are a bit confused with the meaning of entitlement.

If you are the one behaving in a way that annoys and distract others but you do nothing about, it's YOU who has an issue with entitlement expecting others to adhere to your desires.

I would have fixed Arlo with an icy stare and said "Arlo, go back to your parents and annoy them instead of me. Do not come back."
Unfortunately, this is also a no go with such parents. You then get a 'who do you think you are talking to my darling Arlo like this. How dare you. We are raising darling Arlo to express himself and be friendly. If you have an issue with it, you are welcome to go elsewhere. You can be we win with these parents, no matter what you do, you're in the wrong and the one entitled!

I can imagine getting into a McDonalds, get on the table, tap loudly to get everybody's attention and declare that my grandmother is extremely sensitive to noise and therefore I expect all the kids to keep quiet and if they don't like it, they can go elsewhere. After all, she is entitled to go and eat anywhere at anytime and it's not her fault extreme noise gives her a severe headache. How entitled of parents not to expect their kids to be silent for once!

Dontcareforthehaters

So, as to my post

I assume if you have kids you are fairly familiar as to how they behave in certain settings and you can use that knowledge to make an informed decision as to whether a venue that has a largely adult customer base that are seeking a certain relaxed ambiance would be a suitable place or not to bring said children to.

Do you agree with this or not? Or would you knowingly take a child who struggles to remain settled for extended periods or gets cranky easily to a venue where an element of peace and quiet is expected?

Quite

As previous posters have said, it's more about the parents not insisting on the children behaving properly that's the key - it's simply unreasonable to moan at the sight of well behaved children in a restaurant.

We took our two to pubs/cafes/restaurants (including posh/Michelin starred ones) on holiday for dinner from when they were babies. When they were little they had picture books, cars, little figures etc to distract them if they got a bit bored and later we talked/played talking games. If either of them wailed or misbehaved they were taken out for 5 minutes to calm down. I can't imagine any circumstances when they would be allowed to run round or annoy other diners. They learnt to behave properly in restaurants from an early age and to appreciate good food - so would have a starter course where there wasn't a children's menu or half portions. We never went to McDonalds or the like, because if we wouldn't eat there, why should our children? They never could figure out the attraction of McDonalds - the free toy?

We once had lunch at a quite up-market gastro-pub place with PILs when DD was about 6. By that age she was very used to eating out with us as we had done all the things suggested in PP e.g., starting out in more informal places at lunchtime and early evening and working our way up.

Anyway we had a lovely meal and DD behaved impeccably, as expected. Towards the end of the meal a couple at the next table were getting up to leave and they came over to speak to us. They said that normally when they found themselves sitting next to a table with children they ask to be moved but they hadn't been able to that day. However, they went on to praise us for the good behaviour of our DD and said they wished all children in restaurants behaved like that. It was good to bust their preconceptions.

I agree OP, kids in expensive restaurants shouldn't be allowed. Why weren't they left at home with nanny?

Do you see shrieking children, children climbing round other customers and children playing drums at the table "on the continent" or "in other cultures" or are they generally parented better?