Would you donate your money if you’re classed as ‘rich’?

[Familylifeof3]

Hello,
A bit of background - I’m 33 and my husband is 34, we have 2 children who are 7 and 3.
We live around Cambridge and my husband commutes to London every day for work. He works every weekday and sometimes weekends too. He often flies over to America for work. He works extremely hard and does earn a lot of money.
We live in a relatively big house and have 2 lovely cars. I don’t have to ever worry about money and our eldest goes to private school (youngest will too when old enough).
We live a very lovely life and we are so grateful and take nothing for granted. I grew up with parents on benefits who struggled to afford bread most weeks and went to a pretty bad school in a pretty bad area so totally understand what it’s like to be in that position.
I work for the NHS (always have and always will) as I love caring for people.
Recently my husband got a promotion so we would love to donate some of that money to the NHS. Working through covid I am so aware of the struggles and want to support this the best I can.
I really feel they would benefit from a bit of money. And as I grew up with parents who struggled to afford the basics I really want to make sure people get the same care wether that’s privately or through NHS. I don’t feel money should make a difference in that.
Anyway, I told my sister and she looked horrified and said that we shouldn’t ‘waste’ money and should by a holiday house and yacht in America instead of donate.
I hate this idea and absolutely do not agree with that approach. She said we’re being selfish by not offering our children the best start in life!
Just to add my sister has always been a bit jealous of me and has always been funny about how we spend our money (wants to live through us sort of thing).
So do u agree with my sister? Or do u think I’m being totally reasonable in donating most of it?
TIA xx

www.cambridge.gov.uk/mapping-poverty

www.cambridge.gov.uk/media/1261/cambridge_at_a_glance.pdf

There is a massive online and F2F community based around "Effective philanthropy", ie making donations which give the most impact on your target recipients. Getting the most bang for your buck in terms of donations. In raw terms, maximising the number of people (or animals) you can help for the amount you want to donate. There are many people who put a lot of of time and effort, not just money, into this, and many wealthy people who support it. Have a look at www.givewell.org and www.thelifeyoucansave.org.
If you want to help improve health in the UK and support the NHS then there are specific charities

Can I recommend donating some money to your local air ambulance? It's the most amazing charity. It will come to you if you're black, white, Asian, fat, thin, old, young, able bodied or disabled and any other variety of person you can think of. But they can only come out to you if they have the funds. They are entirely funded by donations. And need all the cash they can get.

So do please.comsider it.

I'm surprised you work for the NHS.

Yes to donating money. No to ever discussing your financial situation with your sister. Agree with others about making a targeted donation in a focussed well-researched way.

YANBU but then, neither is she.

in your shoes I’d probably not give to “the NHS” though but a hospital/medical charity - for GOSH, a cancer hospital (Christie, Beatson for example), if you are in Cambridge maybe Addenbrookes has something too sorry I don’t know though

Donating to the NHS is like throwing money intoa bottomless pit.
In your situation I would support a health charity that does not receive the same tax payer support. Their work is very important and your support would be very beneficial to them.
Perhaps, air ambulance, a hospice or restbite care centre.
You are definitely teaching your children the right values of helping out others where possible.

Even when DH and I were at our poorest, we still donated to charity regularly. If we had a lot more money, we would donate a lot more. It's a part of who we as people and who we are teaching our children to be. Since we had our eldest our focus has been sponsoring children. We want our children to know how fortunate they are. And how it's everyone's responsibility to make the world a better place. That's more important than expensive “things".

You're amazing and I believe giving back is a great thing to do. My advice, if I may give one, is to give to wherever or whoever you know would use the money judiciously to make a difference to oriole's lives.

I've worked for two charities in the past and I've become very cynical of giving money to charity because almost 25% of your donation goes to administration including paying exorbitant salaries.

In fact, I no longer give money to charities (not that I have it anyway; I can only afford one meal a day). On the rare occasions that I've had some money to share, I give them directly to people who I know are in need. I speak to people and get to know their struggles and one day I surprise them with a token.

What I do is give charities my time and skills. I volunteered at a food bank for years serving food parcels, raising money in town centres (100% given to families in need), doing website update, material design, data analysis etc since I'm good at these. I also volunteered at another charity where I did community development work - litter picking; keeping community gardens clean, running errands for old and disabled people, visiting the elderly in care homes etc.
I donate boxes of books to deprived communities where reading is dying.
I sponsored and mentored a girl child through primary education in the developing country. - this meant I had to maintain an extra job but found it to be one of the most meaningful things I've done.

These I've found more fulfilling.
Again I'm not yet financially rich, but I can imagine you and your family are incredibly lucky.
All the best.

In my religion charity is super important!!!

Every year everyone gives roughly 2% of their savings to charity. You could do something like that if other options are
uncomfortable 🙂

If you donate to a charity directly from your PAYE, the tax is donated on top for free

This

The original post is bizarre with all the talk about how well off they are. Most people who have money to spare already know about charitable giving and don’t need to ask complete strangers about it.

I live in Cambridge 🤷‍♀️

I’ll do random donations, but I don’t donate money to charities regularly because our household pays an eye watering amount of tax and IMO that should be used by the govt. to support essential services provided by these charities. I’m also very cynical about these charities as I work for a luxury goods company where I regularly, especially at Christmas, get asked to sort out expensive gifts for clients and staff, bought by charities. I don’t donate money to places for them to buy their staff £75 hampers at Christmas. I regularly donate to our local food bank, but that’s it for now. I recently spent a year donating 7-14 hours a week donating my time to a charity and I think that is more beneficial than money.

You are flush now, but who knows what will happen? You are only in your 30’s and your DC are young. I’d be creating a buffer for your family incase something unexpected happens in the future.

I live in Cambridge 🤷‍♀️

Then you will know that it is rife with homeless people, who often need MH help, and that the 2 other homeless charities closed due to funding. This is the only charity I regularly support.

Yes I do know that. I also know, having worked in the public sector here for years, that Cambridge is a mecca for homeless people because it’s lenient and affluent. It attracts homeless people from all over the country.

A small group of doctors local to us have set up a scheme for teenagers from deprived areas/families who want to study medicine. They have provided/paid for tuition to help them with exams as well as laptops and spaces for studying. Possibly also bus and train fares to get to interviews. This also connects these young people with doctors who can help them get work experience within the NHS.

Perhaps see if there is anything like this near you?

With such young DC OP I think you'd be really irresponsible to just give away loads of money at this stage of your lives. You have no idea what the future holds - something awful could happen to you or your DH and your DC could really need a financial cushion to keep them safe, housed and well fed.

You say you grew up in poverty, so I understand your discomfort with having lots of money now, but you shouldn't just give it away. Giving to charity doesn't have to be all or nothing - you can make regular donations to a charity or charities of your choice - but also make sound financial decisions for you and your DC's future (and I don't mean by buying a house and a yacht in the US, which would be madness unless you have US citizenship, even then, why???).

Get some financial advice from an independent financial advisor if you need help with this, but your sister sounds bonkers.

What was the council tax rebate home-owners automatically got last year, £150 I think. As soon as it was announced I told DH we were donating the same amount to food bank. He didn't quibble.

Yes, I would absolutely donate and would even involve your children too.

A friend gives his children pocket money (they can earn extra to top it up) and every month they sit down and decide where to donate 20% of their pocket money to. I think it's a great practice and is teaching generosity as well as the importance of saving and money management.

something awful could happen to you or your DH and your DC could really need a financial cushion to keep them safe, housed and well fed

That’s why people have life insurance. I can’t believe that people are so insular, why on earth shouldn’t people with more money than they need use it to benefit those who need help outside their immediate family? It’s such a narrow and selfish attitude.

Normally I'd agree but with one massive income propping up this family's lifestyle, which sounds like it's probably in finance or similar, when we are entering a recession... I wouldn't be rushing to give away the entire sum with school fees to pay. Nor would I be buying a yacht with it as recommended by the sister!

Please do not donate to the NHS, its a waste of time and like your sister said waste of money. (although I don't agree with the not donating at all and buying holidays homes instead)

Look for a small local charity to donate to, there are loads of them about.

Not everyone pays school fees @DashboardConfessional. Schools in Cambridge are excellent, there’s no need for it.

So you must be fully aware of the deprivation there. Have you met some families from Abbey, Arbury, kings hedges areas... Etc walked past the huge homeless population??

To say "You’d be hard pushed to find areas of deprivation in Cambridge" is either you being absolutely oblivious, or not realising what deprivation looks like.

So I assumed you'd never been to Cambridge,or perhaps as a tourist. It's mad you love there and don't realise there's significant deprivation....