Would you donate your money if you’re classed as ‘rich’?

[Familylifeof3]

Hello,
A bit of background - I’m 33 and my husband is 34, we have 2 children who are 7 and 3.
We live around Cambridge and my husband commutes to London every day for work. He works every weekday and sometimes weekends too. He often flies over to America for work. He works extremely hard and does earn a lot of money.
We live in a relatively big house and have 2 lovely cars. I don’t have to ever worry about money and our eldest goes to private school (youngest will too when old enough).
We live a very lovely life and we are so grateful and take nothing for granted. I grew up with parents on benefits who struggled to afford bread most weeks and went to a pretty bad school in a pretty bad area so totally understand what it’s like to be in that position.
I work for the NHS (always have and always will) as I love caring for people.
Recently my husband got a promotion so we would love to donate some of that money to the NHS. Working through covid I am so aware of the struggles and want to support this the best I can.
I really feel they would benefit from a bit of money. And as I grew up with parents who struggled to afford the basics I really want to make sure people get the same care wether that’s privately or through NHS. I don’t feel money should make a difference in that.
Anyway, I told my sister and she looked horrified and said that we shouldn’t ‘waste’ money and should by a holiday house and yacht in America instead of donate.
I hate this idea and absolutely do not agree with that approach. She said we’re being selfish by not offering our children the best start in life!
Just to add my sister has always been a bit jealous of me and has always been funny about how we spend our money (wants to live through us sort of thing).
So do u agree with my sister? Or do u think I’m being totally reasonable in donating most of it?
TIA xx

Thnak you all so much. Me and DH will be donating to a few small charities over the next few months (some of which seem really lovely). I will do more research into some of them and see which ones I think could really benefit society.
And as for my sister I definitely think she wants us to but it for her (like I said she’s living through us). I think donating is much nicer than a yacht at the moment especially as are kids are 7 and 3 and would rather spend a week at centre parcs than sit on a boat. Xx

We want to donate our energy cost money from the Government as we dont need it. Apparently Octopus are trying to sort out a mechanism to do that.
I think I would donate to a charity that helps with energy costs. I hate the idea of people choosing between food and heat. It's awful and many people will be affected.

I am surprised you aren't donating to charity already most people I know are and they are not rich just not poor.

This

I meant I would use the money for kids future houses

I wouldn't donate it to the NHS, they're not good at using money wisely.

Not sure why this needed the whole build up about where you live, where your DH goes on business and your lovely cars or whatever. What is the relevance if all this?

It could have just been "AIBU to donate to the NHS?"

If you work for the NHS then surely you know more than most people that it's a bottomless pit?

Just do what anyone else does and donate what you feel you can to a cause that you like. No need to broadcast it!

I'd donate to charities that work alongside the NHS supporting patients, things like:

Ronald Mc Donald's house - provide housing for families with children in long term hospital care
Loros- Hospice care
Sands - support families who have experienced still birth
Tommies - support families who have experienced miscarriage
Starlight - provide distraction boxes and Xmas gifts for kids in hospital
MacMillan - cancer support

You are a good person and I would keep seem for your children, perhaps invest it for them to help them on the property ladder one day etc.
Donating the rest is a great idea and I agree smaller charities or hospices would be good. I donate to water aid and oxfam monthly, not a long but have done for years and I do also think it's important that as humans that we do what we can for each other.
At my children's school there is a real mix of middle class/ok for money type families and some with hardly any money. If I won the lottery anonymously I sometimes imagine putting a load of money through the poorer families doors especially in the countdown to Xmas or organising a weekly food shop for the rest of their life, anonymously etc. I would love to observe from afar the direct wonderful impact this would have! Am just thinking aloud here! Sorry!

There are lots of smaller charities that support the work of the NHS. I personally would rather donate to them, if you were going to.

I wouldn't donate to the NHS as I don't think it would touch the sides or make the slightest difference. Why not buy your holiday home and let families use it for respite holidays. You would still have the investment for your childrens future and be helping desperate families who need a break. It doesn't matter how well off you are just now and think you will never want for money but no-one knows what the future holds.

Hi op

You sound amazing. I second SANDS and Tommys - sadly I've had to use both recently after losing my first pregnancy and they're amazing. Tommy's run specialist stillbirth and miscarriage clinics which is the only thing that's given me and my husband any hope for the future in our darkest times, truly amazing work. I signed up to donate £9 a month today actually as that's all we can afford as I'm now unable to work for the time being. Also I see at as a way of indirectly financially supporting the NHS as they are trying to prevent this happening to as many families as it does now which would save healthcare costs overall I think. If I’m ever lucky enough to be better off I will certainly donate and plan on fundraising for them.

Just my input there are of course many worthy causes :-)

It's not about amounts of money. It's about values.
Tbh I'm shocked at the posters saying you shouldn't donate. Everyone I know donates to charity. As their income increases, their donations increase.

We give to a number of charities on a month by month basis. I started off by looking online to the kind of charities we'd be interested in, (such as young homeless people, children's hospices and similar) and we now give money to four different charities monthly.

We're so lucky to have money we can give, this time is really hard for a lot of people and I hope we're making a small bit of difference to some.

I donate 10% of my earnings (Giving what we can pledge). But like hell would I give it to the NHS. I give it to the charities that make measurably the biggest impact - medical ones include the Against Malaria Foundation and the Schistosomiasis Control Initiative, etc. Try www.givewell.org/

Oh and if you want to be thoroughly persuaded as to why you should donate, read The Life You Can Save by Peter Singer.

I exclusively donate to charities in the developing world - I can't justify donating to the health service in a first world country when there are people dying of preventable diseases and people without safe water to drink

I would always encourage donating if you can afford it, but not to the NHS (and I also work for them). I only say that because I think you could have more impact elsewhere. If you have time I'd see if you can find a small local charity and set up a regular donation - it would be much more noticed than going to the NHS.

Also don't listen to your sister!

Fair play to you!! My family also work for the NHS and they have all said in the past just how much the NHS waste money! In your position, working for them, you would be better placed to find out what equipment etc a particular ward etc really need, and look into sorting that out, rather than give actual money which will not end up where it should x

I aleays believe in ‘you reap what you sow’. I donating money every year. I’m not as rich as you. My husband is high earner but i still cant afford private school for our kids. But yeah we donate money every year

Honestly most people donate quietly without feeling they have to tell friends and family.
Its odd you would tell your sister knowing her attitude to money and even odder you would post on a forum about it.

We need more people like you, op.

I think it's lovely to donate money and if you can you should is the kind of mantra I aspire to. BUT as others have said the NHS is a bottomless pit. I have worked at hospitals where people donate to a specific ward/project and it's ringfenced for that and can never be used as they don't raise enough for that project. I would look to a hospice or similar as others have said or a particular community project in your area

I certainly wouldn't donate to the NHS general funds, as I believe it's woefully inefficient and wasteful as an organisation.

How much money are we talking about here? Could you perhaps consider funding an individual service locally - for example funding the salary of a district nurse or home visitor at your local GP practice or hospice?

If that's way above what you're able to donate, how about funding the expenses of local volunteer drivers who take elderly and disabled people to their hospital appointments, or something else like that? There are usually local charities that run those sorts of schemes.

Alternatively, you could offer to pay for private counselling sessions for those with mental health problems who cannot afford to pay and who would otherwise be waiting for months (or years?).

Or, how about speaking to your local dentist and offering to pay forward for dental treatment for those who can't get an NHS dentist and can't afford private dentistry?

Or pay for 100 meals at a café, so that the café can offer a free meal to people deemed to be in need of one?