Would you donate your money if you’re classed as ‘rich’?

[Familylifeof3]

Hello,
A bit of background - I’m 33 and my husband is 34, we have 2 children who are 7 and 3.
We live around Cambridge and my husband commutes to London every day for work. He works every weekday and sometimes weekends too. He often flies over to America for work. He works extremely hard and does earn a lot of money.
We live in a relatively big house and have 2 lovely cars. I don’t have to ever worry about money and our eldest goes to private school (youngest will too when old enough).
We live a very lovely life and we are so grateful and take nothing for granted. I grew up with parents on benefits who struggled to afford bread most weeks and went to a pretty bad school in a pretty bad area so totally understand what it’s like to be in that position.
I work for the NHS (always have and always will) as I love caring for people.
Recently my husband got a promotion so we would love to donate some of that money to the NHS. Working through covid I am so aware of the struggles and want to support this the best I can.
I really feel they would benefit from a bit of money. And as I grew up with parents who struggled to afford the basics I really want to make sure people get the same care wether that’s privately or through NHS. I don’t feel money should make a difference in that.
Anyway, I told my sister and she looked horrified and said that we shouldn’t ‘waste’ money and should by a holiday house and yacht in America instead of donate.
I hate this idea and absolutely do not agree with that approach. She said we’re being selfish by not offering our children the best start in life!
Just to add my sister has always been a bit jealous of me and has always been funny about how we spend our money (wants to live through us sort of thing).
So do u agree with my sister? Or do u think I’m being totally reasonable in donating most of it?
TIA xx

Good for you OP.

I would donate to

Maggie's Centres who provide respite centres for people going through cancer treatment and their families and are located at hospitals around the country.

Winnston's Wish who support bereaved children.

Macmillan Cancer

Marie Curie Cancer Care

Your local hospice.

Ignore your sister.

I'd stop discussing your finances with your sister in the first instance. You clearly know she's perhaps jealous of your situation so there's no point informing her your husbands had a wonderful promotion but actually you'd like to give it to charity. It seems like virtue signalling. Keep it private. But anyway, it is a kind gesture and I believe everyone in a position to do so should.

The NHS is a bottomless pit and it isn’t as simple as a lack of money meaning it provides shit care. So no, I wouldn’t donate to the NHS if I actually wanted to do some good.

Charities such as
Air Ambulance
Your Local Hospice (or Children's Hospice)
BHF....Cancer Research....MND Association....Samaritans..... Any of the Suicide prevention charities....... Tommies......SANDS..... SCOPE...... quite frankly any of the charities that support individuals and their families with medical conditions.

Or some that support healthcare around the world like Medicine sans frontiers .... or something like Toilet twinning or Water Aid.

Of course, you don't have to be rich to support any of these charities.
Imagine if every MNer committed to a standing order of even £1 per month......

Some really good ideas of where we could put our money thank you. I feel like the money we have to spare could really help some other people and we would love to donate this. In response to a few people asking why we haven’t donated already, we regularly donate money to small charities in our area and have done for ages but we’re now talking about a larger chunk of money. Thank you all again xx

So your husband works all hours, weekends and is out of the country sacrificing his time with his family to donate what would be a drop in the ocean to the NHS?
Ok then 😉

We aren't rich but donate £50/month to the World Food Program, and probably £30 also to various other charities eg the wildlife trust. I save for the kids too of course but people are literally dying in the world so giving money to them seems like a no brainer...

I wouldn't donate to the NHS or any government run organisation.

We are in a similar position and make a large donation every year to a local homeless shelter that moves people into sheltered housing. we and our kids also volunteer there. We have made friendships with some of the people working there and can really see the difference they make. What they did during covid was heroic. We also give money monthly to the food bank since covid hit and occasionally help out a family we know who struggle (while working full time in really hard work) - things like first months/last months rent if they need it. Our children are plenty privileged without that money - they are young adults and know what we give now.

My advice to you is find a charity that really resonates with you. Homelessness was the one for us. Find the best organisation you know dealing with it and then form a relationship with someone there. Don't just send a cheque, ask to volunteer, ask what else they need etc.it is one of the best things we have ever done - for us, not for anyone else.

As for getting a yacht! Stand under a cold shower and tear up 100 pound notes and you'll have the same experience.

The NHS receives a lot of funding and is incredibly inefficiently run.
I would support independent charities instead, either for hospices or for diseases that are close to your heart

I would give reasonable sums to charity but life can change in a heartbeat so beware of giving it all away . It only takes for your OH to become ill , accident etc and life could get very hard

I would keep it for DCs uni fees or flat deposit. Sorry to say but the NHS is like a drain for money due to poor management (not due to the actual workers). In my view it is throwing good money after bad. Also stop speaking to your sister about yiu and your husband's personal affairs.

So based on this should nobody give any money away? Should we all be squirreling it away like Scrooge?

I think it’s more for the “you’re soooo kind” posts

Amazing isn't it?

The East Anglia children’s hospice in Milton would be a great place to donate to. Local so you can see where your money’s spent.

Totally agree

Remember life can turn on a dime, so have pensions, investments, health care cover for life, school fees, college fees, kids house deposits all sorted and banked before you start making big donations.

Then pick something where it won’t disappear into the let’s face if not always well managed NHS, eg hospice, McMillan, helicopter ambulance - unless you have a particular project in mind.

also stop talking to your sister about your finances

I doubt you've accurately factored in all the things that might happen to you in the future that might cause you to regret giving away money now. There will always be good causes that need funding, so there's no need to rush when it comes to giving money away. The most sensible option is to do all your giving in your will. Only when you're dead will there be certainty about how much money you need for your own future.

Money is only worth what you spend it on.

Charities are usually pretty good value in that respect.

If there is a specific service that you would like to support in your local hospital, they will likely have their own charitable fund. I'm not sure my teams on the ground ever see anything from the national NHS Charities Together. However we treated a patient with a rare condition and they donated sufficient funds to purchase a specialist spine operating table and microscope. We have also used donations to critical care to build a therapy garden for patients and to fund a 'hospital pets' service as part of our patients' rehab. These are things 'The bottomless NHS' can rarely afford to fund and have a real benefit to patients.

I'm practice our clinical teams but forward suggestions of how to spend the charity money in each department, and often organise their own events to fund raise for the specific charities of some of our services. We then have really tight governance on how we can spend the money and need to take proposals to various groups for agreement.

As others say, investing in any charity that is allied to healthcare will also support the wider NHS, even if this is in terms of reducing some of the massive pressure we are under.

If your dcs are old enough, you could think of getting them involved in discussion what kind of charities you all think are most important. I agree teaching your children generosity and humility is far more important than buying a yacht

After bills we save around 15k a month tax free. I sponsor families, buy people phones, employ people, anything I can to help people who need it. Giving money to the NHS is akin to setting up a monthly standing order to Peter Sutcliffe. Why would you want to sponsor people dying from deliberate lack if respect for life?

People who want to give money away could just invest it, and give it away in their will when they die. The delay in going to good causes would be compensated for by investment growth, so good causes would collectively be no worse off. The only scenario where good causes lose out is if people later realise realise they need to spend some of the money on themselves, but in that case, it would have been a mistake to give it away.

As PP said, I wouldn’t donate to the NHS. I donate monthly to various causes close to my heart instead.

I would however look closely at investments to allow my husband to take a step back from working 6/7 days a week & spend more time closer to home.

It's a little insensetive to start at post about how you've got too much money when there are many families that will be choosing between being warm or being able to feed themselves this winter.
Do what you like with your money but you don't need to boast.

Going against the grain here slightly, I think it's fine to donate to a specific hospital or part of the NHS that has helped you. We're leaving a gift in our will to the children's hospital that treated our premature daughter, they have a website which sets out where the money goes and what they're raising funds for. Is there a specific health issue that's close to your heart that you'd like to support?