To think this is pretty bad of DH?

[PlantMe]

DH went to London on a boozy night out. He doesn't do it often but when he does he really does. I mean 6 times a year.

I've looked after 2DS all weekend (baby and toddler).

He came home this morning at 7am. Think he had 4 hours sleep on a sofa. But he said he was OK

We have no food in the house. I put baby for his afternoon nap and left toddler and DH and went to tesco alone (heaven)

Just come back to find DH fast asleep, the kitchen COVERED in flour, DS1 sitting on top of DH (also covered in flour) and the baby still sleeping (He needed to be woken up about 45 mins ago). Thank god baby was still asleep as if he'd woken up DH wouldn't have heard him crying as no monitor anywhere near sleeping DH.

No harm done but DS1 had free rein on whole house, kitchen (He can climb onto work surfaces etc)

DH slightly apologetic but when I said it was pretty rubbish of him he said I sounded "shrill"

He then apologised again and said "it's kind of funny"

Am I being OTT to feel a little upset than he thinks I should?

I would make him clear up. But not be too mad. Yes toddler should of been better supervised but could probably of done that much damp if dh had popped upstairs to get baby. And baby was safe in cot.

It’s lucky your son didn’t hurt himself

Is your husband usually this irresponsible?

It does sound pretty funny but yes dangerous too. Make him clean it up.

Flour is really dangerous for them to play with, it can settle in their lungs.

6 times a year if quite frequent to be getting so drunk that you can’t properly look after your children when you get home (assuming you mean he drinks/goes out out each time).

as a one off if let it go but if he was this useless every time he came back from his London weekend I’d be annoyed.

I think every 8 weeks is quite frequent to get so drunk/hungover you can take care of your own kids tbh.

Thats really bad form, your child could have been hurt. I probably wouldn’t have left a toddler with someone who has such little sleep either (but my toddler was always “easy” in a trolley at the supermarket, I’m sure that’s not universal, so easy for me to say )

The mess is funny. The unsupervised toddler is not.

What if that bag of flour had fallen on his head and he'd fallen off the work surface instead?

I think if you are aware these nights outs turn in to big heavy nights out with little sleep then expect him to need a day's recovery. By all means ensure you get a couple of days to do what you want whilst he has his turns looking after the children to keep it fair.

Yeah I wouldn't put up with that personally. Do you go out and get shit faced in London every couple of months?

So every two months your husband gets absolutely wasted and basically is a risk when supposedly looking after his children.

Nope, not normal.
Don't risk your children with him in this state.
Not worth it.

He needs to grow up.

Bakers lung

Happened to me with my own toddler (no night out involved - just sheer tiredness) only mine was Sudocrem all over the Tele, carpet, sofas, son...

We laugh about it now 😭🤣

Not great form, but all's fine apart from everything that's covered in flour!

I would not find this remotely funny

Some dickhead bloke that can’t be trusted to look after his kids for an hour. Ha fucking ha.

I agree. Every 2 months is quite a lot. He is extremely irresponsible and can't be trusted.

He's fallen back asleep again. I told him if he needs to go to bed he just should. And he was all "I got home at 7am to not miss a day with my family and help". He'd be much more help in bed than on the sofa. My toddler is watching his phone sitting on him. The house still has flour everywhere.

I maybe shouldn't have left them but I've been with them by myself since Saturday morning and thought I could go to the shop by myself (which felt a holiday! I may have had an ice coffee in my car for 15 mins)

I think him calling me "shrill" has really pissed me off. Classic "calm down dear" stuff.

He's a bloody idiot

OP,

I mean this kindly but have a hard think about your situation.

This is not an environment that you want your children exposed to.

Father so pissed and hungover he is utterly irresponsible.

What is your background?
Is this how you were reared?

Him dismissing you for being shrill is so unbelievably disrespectful.

Have you family to support you?
He clearly is more interested in being a piss head than a decent father.

Very young children are full on and it only works if you share the load.

He's been a compleno show all weekend and now the house is a mess with flour?

Not good enough.
Take a picture of the mess.
Reach out to those who love you.
Don't accept this treatment from him.

If he was a single mum he'd have his DC's removed from him.

He got home at 7 to pass out on the sofa, in the guise of spending the day with his family? What a dick head

I think it's bad...a toddler loose in the kitchen could have been dangerous, its lucky it was only flour he got hold of. And given the state of your husband it will likely be you clearing up / putting up with a baby who has napped too long this evening, so it's a bit shit to call you shrill when you're pissed off about having more work to do on top of having the kids on your own all weekend

Who's cleared up the mess?

Typical Mumsnet over response from PP

Yes, he's been a bit feckless. Every parent has had days like that. He tried. He failed. Children are fine. No harm was done except you two falling out.

Make sure you get a weekend back for yourself where he does all the childcare.

It is completely irresponsible of him. There is no acceptable reason for him to do this.

The lack of supervision is hardly a bit feckless and calling OP shrill is typical guilt manifesting as blame shifting.
The key will be how he responds to this. If he doesn't mend his ways I'd be strategising how to manage his next episodes ie don't come back until your fit to parent and I'll have next weekend off.

you're 🙄