To think this is pretty bad of DH?

[PlantMe]

DH went to London on a boozy night out. He doesn't do it often but when he does he really does. I mean 6 times a year.

I've looked after 2DS all weekend (baby and toddler).

He came home this morning at 7am. Think he had 4 hours sleep on a sofa. But he said he was OK

We have no food in the house. I put baby for his afternoon nap and left toddler and DH and went to tesco alone (heaven)

Just come back to find DH fast asleep, the kitchen COVERED in flour, DS1 sitting on top of DH (also covered in flour) and the baby still sleeping (He needed to be woken up about 45 mins ago). Thank god baby was still asleep as if he'd woken up DH wouldn't have heard him crying as no monitor anywhere near sleeping DH.

No harm done but DS1 had free rein on whole house, kitchen (He can climb onto work surfaces etc)

DH slightly apologetic but when I said it was pretty rubbish of him he said I sounded "shrill"

He then apologised again and said "it's kind of funny"

Am I being OTT to feel a little upset than he thinks I should?

6 times a year sounds quite a lot? Me and dp don't have kids and we don't get shit faced 6 times a year

He apologised, the children were unhurt… move on

^

Really? 😕😕

I'd be absolutely livid

A toddler could basically kill themselves in this situation

Make sure you get a weekend back for yourself where he does all the childcare.

^

What, after he DH has proved he's completely irresponsible?? How would she be able to relax?

He apologised, the children were unhurt… move on

I am not prone to dramatics but I couldn't move on from this level of irresponsibility. Anything could have happened to the toddler.

In the news just yesterday a 21m old was killed having got outside while his parents were sleeping.

Yeah, these tragedies are thankfully rare, but his selfishness put their toddler at unnecessary risk.

I am not prone to dramatics but I couldn't move on from this level of irresponsibility. Anything could have happened to the toddler.

Agreed. I'm genuinely surprised so many are being so laissez-faire about this. A toddler alone unsupervised with access to the kitchen is way more than a minor blip. I'd find it very tough to trust him with the children but given his behaviour I suspect that's what he's hoping for.

I agree if this was a single mum who passed out from a hangover and left a toddler unsupervised people would be up in arms.
People need to let their hair down, but you need to stay awake for a toddler and a sleeping baby, you just need to, anything could have happened. And I am pretty relaxed.

I wouldn't find it funny, it's by-the-by nothing truly terrible happened (though I'd frankly be fucked-off by the mess etc) - the point is it could have been awful because he was so careless.

But I'd also like to draw attention to the fact every few weeks your DH goes on an absolute bender to London (expensive?), rendering himself first absent for a fair chunk of the weekend and then making himself useless through being hungover yet YOU felt like you were on a holiday because you got to go and do the shopping and treated yourself to a coffee in the car... this isn't right OP!!

I'd give ds his noisiest toy and putting him right next to dh. After all, he's there to help. Or he can cook dinner and tidy the kitchen

This! What the actual fuck - you are both SO lucky that nothing awful happened!

Oh dear god!

Another oh dear god!

Do t be ridiculous, have you any idea about actual child neglect?

Child played with flour, whilst other child slept in for 45 minutes, remove them.

Meanwhile baby P?

He's not on the same page with regards to how potentially serious this was therefore to be quite honest I'd not feel comfortable leaving them with him while I had a break on weekend.

Who did any baking? Which child is a baker?

Not read the full thread, but the first things that occurred to me:

Is he going to clear up the mess and fix dinner?

How often do YOU get to have a wild night out or a weekend away?

Baker’s lung is when they inhale flour. It’s why you’re advised not to use baby powder any more.

So a one off episode causes bakers lung?

It can do, yes.

The “shrill” comment would annoy me too. Misogynistic.

Is this a one-off, out of character thing? Is he usually good with the kids? If it’s completely out of character then fine, I’m sure it won’t happen again. But I suspect from his reaction to you that it’s not out of character- imagine how terrible you’d feel if you had done it. I’d feel so ashamed. But he’s barely apologetic.

So why isn’t he cleaning up the flour if he wants to help out?

honestly OP why are you tolerating this selfish lazy man misogynistic child?

all your kids are learning are that men get to opt out of responsibility/do what they like, and women will pick up the pieces

Tbh, if my DH came home in that state, I wouldn’t have left the children with him. Six times a year, isn’t THAT infrequent, but if you’re happy with him doing that, then you need to be prepared for the idea that he will need a day to recover. If that’s not acceptable (and I can’t say that I disagree with you) then you need to talk to him about his weekends away. It’s good for both of you have to have “me time” away from the children, and every from each other occasionally, but with parenthood comes responsibility and you also need that downtime.
Have a serious conversation about what you expect from him, what you need for YOU and how you can have a family/ work/ fun life balance that you both want.

Calling you shrill is disrespectful and rude. I’d address that with him later. My ex used to come up with those kind of gems when I pulled him up on his irresponsible antics. Partly why he is now an ex

Blimey some people have bloody low standards- I would be livid!! I've got no issue on people having good nights out , but if you've got young kids expect them back in by 3am latest - (make or female) and capable of getting on as normal by 11am if it's a regular thing.

I’d be pissed off. I assume you managed to stay awake and ensure your child's safety despite pure exhaustion from birth and/or night feeds? And he can’t even stay awake while you pop to the shop because of a night out. Whether your child was hurt or not is irrelevant. It was risky and irresponsible.

I bet the reaction would be very different from some people here if a woman/mother had done this…

Also can’t believe people are putting the blame onto you for leaving them with him. How dare you leave your children with their father who said he was ok to watch them whilst you pop to the shop 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ honestlyyy