To think these comments are homophobic?

[TooFullToCare]

I’ve started seeing someone (likely for not much longer).

We were discussing what each of us were doing for bank holiday a few weeks back and I’m going to Brighton to see a friend. He commented that he didn’t like Brighton and then asked that’s the gay capital right? I said it was and is there a problem with that?

He said no but it’s very liberal there and he doesn’t like it in his face.

Ok …..

And today I was saying how I want to see Queen, he said he loves Bohemia Rhapsody. I commented did he not like any others? So I stated listing them and I said “I want to break free” - and he said no definitely not that, I asked if it’s because he’s dressed as a woman in the video. He retorted no but it’s about how he wants to break free …

Whatever that means. I’m on the fence with him anyway but this has sealed it for me I think.

Is there ANYTHING ‘people’ on this website won’t turn into trans-bashing?

The question is, is there anything people on this website won't turn into women-bashing. The DARVO that infects this site is a real problem.

Could it be because you repeatedly insulted a poster and tried to trivialise her friends suicide?

not every thread has to be derailed into complaining about trans people. it has nothing to do with the op

What is it with these people who cling to their little ‘opinions’ as if they’re somehow more valuable than uncut diamonds? “I’m allowed an opinion”, they declare loftily, as if this is somehow a cover-all answer with no possible comeback.

Just because it’s his opinion, it doesn’t mean it’s not homophobic. And surely if we’re all flag-waving for the right to an opinion, the OP has an equal right to one? Can’t she have the opinion that her boyfriend is being a homophobe?

That poster insulted me, not the other way around. Which is why their post was also removed. I also didn't trivialise any suicide, but they trivialised my rape and the rape of many other women in their gaslighting and DARVO. AS'ing the makes for interesting reading.

From what I've read of Brighton it's a hateful misogynistic place that hates women.

Is anyone this stupid?

I guess you haven't read what happened at the Brighton rape survivor group, or the University and Brighton..... Maybe if you caught up on what has been happening, including womens groups being threatened on the streets of Brighton with rape and assault, you may not make such an ignorant comment.

He asked if Brighton is the gay capital then commented that he doesn't like it in his face. The implication being that he has a problem with gay people specifically no matter how much it suits you to pretend otherwise.

Given that the thread is about a homophobic man, I don’t see where there’s been any women-bashing - unless you mean the idiots trying to tell the OP she’s done something wrong for standing up against this kind of casual prejudice.

iirc you called her a fucking handmaiden and accused her of inflating trans deaths when she mentioned her friends suicide. also the entire population of Brighton hate women according to you. but sure you're the victim here.

why don't you find another thread to derail if you're so bored.

Oh I guess you missed SomePosters posts (I think they've been deleted) where they mocked women who have been raped and womens right to safe spaces. Don't comment unless you actually saw the posts. They most certainly were women-bashing. No one has bashed trans people.

This is pathetic. ‘The average working bloke’? Total nonsense.

If you really think there’s no such thing as a non-homophobic ‘average bloke’, I pity you.

No trans-bashing?! 😆Okay…

I was called a 'terf'. So I replied with handmaiden. And?

I never said anything about her 'inflating trans deaths' you are making up lies.

I was raped, so yes, I AM a victim here.

Maybe take your own advice.

People are perfectly entitled to not like gay culture.

So saying women need safe sex-based spaces, especially women like myself who were raped automatically equals trans-bashing now?! Ok....

Then surely the OP is perfectly entitled to say she’s not comfortable with that and to ditch this man?

What has any of the trans stuff got to do with the fact the man OP is dating is homophobic? I don’t see the connection or why the thread had to get derailed.

Disappointing but not shocking to see some homophobic posts on here too

He said no but it’s very liberal there and he doesn’t like it in his face. I would end a relationship for this comment, personally.

Yes, people are entitled to be homophobic and illiberal, so long as they observe the law.

Absolutely ridiculous comment. Residents of Brighton are not a monolith

Maybe not but it's certainly not a gay-friendly place (homosexuality is 'transphobic' as TRAs in Brighton has said themselves) or a woman-friendly place.

I am gay, so perhaps you should mind what you say.

You can be pro gay marriage, perfectly fine with two men or two women being intimate or holding hands.

You can also dislike drag queens, find gay culture regressive, think women's sports should be protected and be very uncomfortable with people with pink hair, crocs and tote bags labelling throwing the word "queer" around left, right and centre.

If it’s ‘ignorant’ to think an entire city doesn’t have one homogeneous viewpoint, I’m happy to be ignorant, thanks.

It is homophobic to imply that he basically only tolerates gay people as long as their gayness is not ''in your face''.

What does ''in your face'' even mean anyway?that he is offended by a man holding another man's hand in public? that he just does not want to have look at anyone who just happens to be gay? what he assume that if someone is gay they will be doing weird/questionable things in the streets of Brighton that he could not possibly gaze upon?

I would not date someone so backwards in its thinking.

I would also think that he is not comfortable with his own masculinity to have such an issue with gay people and that would put me off.