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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Men holding hands in the Street

537 replies

girlfriend44 · 20/08/2022 20:00

Saw two men walking along hand in hand earlier and I admired their bravery and thought hope nobody starts on them.
Have seen women before but not men?
Do you think they were brave. Would you be scared for them if they were your sons?
Brave men. Perhaps it's something we will see more of in the future?

OP posts:
TeapotTitties · 20/08/2022 20:31

I'm in London and see it all the time, it's a fairly common sight.

Once in a blue moon I long to live somewhere remote by the sea, but then I remember how diverse this area is and I'm thankful to have raised my kids here.

I often don't realise just how diverse it is until I read some threads similar to this, or asking questions like "My DC has made friends with a Muslim child, how can I make them feel welcome?" or similar.

People are very much just people here and most of us have the same goals in life.

SunnyD44 · 20/08/2022 20:32

I’ve only seen it a couple of times and the men have all been 6ft+ and very muscley which says it all.

I personally don’t get why couples hold hands in public anyway but I definitely wouldn’t if I were a gay man because of the abuse that many of them would receive.

TeapotTitties · 20/08/2022 20:33

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 20/08/2022 20:30

YABU and patronising.

The very fact you've posted on here shows that you haven't yet actually seen this as entirely 'normal'.

But in may areas it's not, so to be fair to the OP it will be seen as 'different' in their area.

They can't help that 🤷‍♀️

SunnyD44 · 20/08/2022 20:34

So common in india

They actually link pinky fingers..

’
@brownbeauty80 this is my kind of holding hands 😆

Are there openly gay men in India?

User8273738273737 · 20/08/2022 20:34

Cocopogo · 20/08/2022 20:05

OP it’s people like you who are the problem. What’s the big deal? Who cares?

@Cocopogo OP didn’t criticise them/say anything homophobic

legalseagull · 20/08/2022 20:34

My best friend had his head kicked in in Northampton for holding hands with his boyfriend. Yes op, I think it's brave in most towns in the U.K. - probably not large cities, but most towns.
I now live in brighton and couples of various sexes regularly. Smile

Butwhichoneistheman · 20/08/2022 20:35

Of course it’s brave. Anyone who thinks it isn’t has very little idea of what people experience. No matter how many people post that it should be normal, that doesn’t mean that the rest of the general public thinks so too.
Female couples also avoid it to stop the obscene comments.

Rainraindontgoaway · 20/08/2022 20:35

I see it all the time and I am in a little northern town not some cosmopolitan city. We are in 2022 now not the 1980s.

Fairygarden1992 · 20/08/2022 20:36

There ARE places outside of London 😂😂😂

Butwhichoneistheman · 20/08/2022 20:36

Male friends in India hold hands, it doesn’t mean they are gay

SundayTeatime · 20/08/2022 20:36

It’s quite normal where I live. I’m in London, though. I see men holding hands often.

stuntbubbles · 20/08/2022 20:36

Not brave in Brighton, brave somewhere else – but starting a thread about it is incredibly othering and patronising, and part of the problem. You can’t help normalise homosexuality by a thread that effectively points and stares.

TeapotTitties · 20/08/2022 20:37

Cocopogo · 20/08/2022 20:05

OP it’s people like you who are the problem. What’s the big deal? Who cares?

I think to an extent, it's people like you who are the problem, by refusing to accept that in 2022 it's still a very big problem in some areas for some people.

Denying that just minimizes the hatred and homophobia many gay people still suffer.

fufflecake · 20/08/2022 20:37

stuntbubbles · 20/08/2022 20:36

Not brave in Brighton, brave somewhere else – but starting a thread about it is incredibly othering and patronising, and part of the problem. You can’t help normalise homosexuality by a thread that effectively points and stares.

👏👏👏 well said

Butwhichoneistheman · 20/08/2022 20:37

Because you see it often doesn’t mean it isn’t brave. It means there are a lot of brave people where you live.

TeapotTitties · 20/08/2022 20:38

Butwhichoneistheman · 20/08/2022 20:35

Of course it’s brave. Anyone who thinks it isn’t has very little idea of what people experience. No matter how many people post that it should be normal, that doesn’t mean that the rest of the general public thinks so too.
Female couples also avoid it to stop the obscene comments.

Exactly and (sadly) very well put 👏👏

SunnyD44 · 20/08/2022 20:39

Once in a blue moon I long to live somewhere remote by the sea, but then I remember how diverse this area is and I'm thankful to have raised my kids here.

I live in Cornwall which is probably the least diverse area in the UK which is the worst thing about it.

I moved to Birmingham when I was old enough and had my DC who is mixed race. Then I needed to move back down and it’s been such a culture shock. There’s only 3 non white students in my DDs school.

I worry that if she is gay which she possibly is, she is going to struggle down here.
I dont think people are necessarily homophobic, it’s just much less diverse and common.

Itstrueiagree · 20/08/2022 20:39

I'd be concerned for any gay couple holding hands because unfortunately and sadly there are still many narrow minded people out there who think it's OK to judge how others live/are. I think it's more accepted when lesbians hold hands
.

sausagepastapot · 20/08/2022 20:40

Literally couldn't care less.

Anewdayanewdawn · 20/08/2022 20:41

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/lgbt-holding-hands-public-fear-uk-government-survey-penny-mordaunt-a8428381.html?amp

this survey was heavily reported at the time, and absolutely accurate. 🙁
from cat calling to actual physical abuse.

ovhalph · 20/08/2022 20:41

Jovanka · 20/08/2022 20:06

Crikey OP - where do you live that this is such a big deal?

Luton? Grin

sqirrelfriends · 20/08/2022 20:41

I see women holding hands but very infrequently men (unless I happen to be around them socially).

I find it very sad that anyone wouldn’t be allowed to show affection to their loved one in public.

TeapotTitties · 20/08/2022 20:41

SunnyD44 · 20/08/2022 20:39

Once in a blue moon I long to live somewhere remote by the sea, but then I remember how diverse this area is and I'm thankful to have raised my kids here.

I live in Cornwall which is probably the least diverse area in the UK which is the worst thing about it.

I moved to Birmingham when I was old enough and had my DC who is mixed race. Then I needed to move back down and it’s been such a culture shock. There’s only 3 non white students in my DDs school.

I worry that if she is gay which she possibly is, she is going to struggle down here.
I dont think people are necessarily homophobic, it’s just much less diverse and common.

I remember many years ago a Mumsnetter saying she'd lived in Cornwall all her life and due to her disabilities, hadn't really travelled outside of her area.

She said she was in her 30s and had never met a 'person of colour.'

StoneofDestiny · 20/08/2022 20:46

This reply has been deleted

Not in the spirit

Gwenhwyfar · 20/08/2022 20:46

Where the hell do you live that you've never seen it before? And in 2022 you think it's comment worthy??