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AIBU?

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Original poster

Men holding hands in the Street

537 replies

girlfriend44 · 20/08/2022 20:00

Saw two men walking along hand in hand earlier and I admired their bravery and thought hope nobody starts on them.
Have seen women before but not men?
Do you think they were brave. Would you be scared for them if they were your sons?
Brave men. Perhaps it's something we will see more of in the future?

OP posts:
saraclara · 21/08/2022 22:09

SO many people still posting smugly without reading the thread and the posts from gay people.

ElspethTascioni · 21/08/2022 22:12

I think if you’re not gay, you can be quite ignorant of how much homophobia there still is. My son gets REGULAR homophobic abuse shouted at him living in a large UK city. He and his BF do hold hands in public sometimes and I think it is brave.

2MinuteRice · 21/08/2022 22:19

Anewdayanewdawn · 20/08/2022 20:06

I’m gay. I think they’re brave. People yell stuff all the time to LGBTQ couples holding hands or showing affection.
DW and I often avoid hand holding and showing affection in public because it’s not worth the hassle.

I agree, DW and I have places where it is ok to hold hands and places where it isn't.

If I want to kiss her in public, I tend to check who is around.

Everyone saying it's ok where they live possibly doesn't have the same experience as us.

We live in a multicultural area but still check. I wonder if it is something you actually have to experience by being gay?

Lunar270 · 21/08/2022 22:27

I wonder if it is something you actually have to experience by being gay?

I would absolutely think so.

Reading some posts here it's like listening to people saying that racism doesn't exist as they don't see it, or men denying sexism for similar reasons.

Some of us recognise this and show solidarity etc. but you never know unless you've walked in someone's shoes, so to speak.

pinkpantherpink · 21/08/2022 22:52

YANBU

Love from a gay person x

qtpa2t · 21/08/2022 23:49

That's so cute

Toosadtocomprehend · 21/08/2022 23:55

I live in Brighton and have. friends who are gay …they still have certain areas that they avoid and would not hold hands etc ..it is a problem even in Brighton!!

Lululoveslife · 21/08/2022 23:56

I wouldn’t want my kids seeing it to be honest.

hedgehogFC · 21/08/2022 23:57

Lululoveslife · 21/08/2022 23:56

I wouldn’t want my kids seeing it to be honest.

Want to explain what you mean? Or are you just proving the OPs point?

Cats23 · 22/08/2022 00:02

Where I live, small rural town- I've never seen the same sex couple hold hands.
It would'nt bother me at all but I would say half the people living here, it would bother- V.sad.

Scepticalwotsits · 22/08/2022 00:30

They also may not be gay some cultural backgrounds this is normal and nothing to do with sexuality

Madwife123 · 22/08/2022 00:36

I guarantee those who think everyone accepts this now and homophobia is a rarity is in fact not gay.

As a lesbian if I hold hands with my wife in public I can guarantee at least 1 comment, dirty look, tutting every single week.

So yes they are brave but equally they are doing nothing wrong.

ToGanymedeAndTitan · 22/08/2022 00:39

Lululoveslife · 21/08/2022 23:56

I wouldn’t want my kids seeing it to be honest.

You don't want your kids to see two people holding hands?
Why?

speakout · 22/08/2022 06:53

Lululoveslife · 21/08/2022 23:56

I wouldn’t want my kids seeing it to be honest.

Why?

Beezknees · 22/08/2022 06:54

Lululoveslife · 21/08/2022 23:56

I wouldn’t want my kids seeing it to be honest.

Spot the homophobe. You can't catch gay, you know.

Chouetted · 22/08/2022 07:03

It would definitely wind me up, because they'd probably be blocking the pavement...

I'll hold my hands up to being homophobic myself ( I'm racist and sexist too - sorry), but I have no idea why anyone would care who holds anyone's hands. That's ridiculous.

QuizzlyBears · 22/08/2022 07:09

Lululoveslife · 21/08/2022 23:56

I wouldn’t want my kids seeing it to be honest.

Because they might notice and ask questions, meaning you’d have to confront your own homophobic opinions head on and have them realise things about you that are uncomfortable to sit with?!

Chouetted · 22/08/2022 07:15

The question I have is, what on earth can we do about it? I can't personally stop people from beating people up for holding hands. I can't even stop people for harassing me for being autistic - it's just something I have to accept that society thinks is acceptable.

I'm kind of at a loss, really.

Calminacrisis · 22/08/2022 07:46

I have 2 gay dds. We live in London and neither one of my dds holds hands with their same sex partner in public. The older one gets married soon and I am so pleased she can legally marry now but I’m pretty saddened she doesn’t feel comfortable to hold hands with her gf in public because of the negativity it attracts - comments, looks etc. My younger dd held hands on the street with her gf recently and received a load of obscene commentary from local teen males. I worry for them.
I am bemused at the amount of wilful blindness to homophobia in this thread - yes, it’s still very much a thing, even in what’s supposed to be one of the most diverse cities in the world. Virtue signalling doesn’t magic it away.

Sirzy · 22/08/2022 07:48

On an individual level other than calling out homophobia when we see it and making sure we have the conversations with our children there isn’t a great deal we can do. Sadly we will never change the views of some narrow minded people but what we can do is not support those views and try to ensure they don’t get passed to future generations

speakout · 22/08/2022 07:58

Not all couples feel comfortable holding hands in public- homosexual or heterosexual.
OH and I have never held hands in public, we wouldn't feel comfortable to do so.

Sirzy · 22/08/2022 08:01

speakout · 22/08/2022 07:58

Not all couples feel comfortable holding hands in public- homosexual or heterosexual.
OH and I have never held hands in public, we wouldn't feel comfortable to do so.

Which is fine if that’s because that is what they want. It shouldn’t be because they are scared of abuse if they do.

me and my partner (male) aren’t hand holders generally. But if we did then I know we would be safe from abuse

bemusedmoose · 22/08/2022 08:04

see it all the time, for me it's no different to a straight couple holding hands it's no biggie. i have to say - i dont look at gay couples and think 'hope they dont get lynched'. i mean there are some god awful people and homophobia is everywhere but if you live your life in fear - you dont get to really live.

drbuzzaro · 22/08/2022 08:26

Lululoveslife · 21/08/2022 23:56

I wouldn’t want my kids seeing it to be honest.

obvious troll is ongious etc etc

cakeorwine · 22/08/2022 08:34

Steady on. Tryng to see things from someone's perspective and to realise that life can be very different for people in other groups and an activity that many people take for granted is for other people, an activity that can lead to abuse and violence - that's the kind of thing the Daily Mail and the Conservatives would have a fit about. God forbid that people should be discussing this 'woke' idea .

I would say where I live it's more common to see women holding hands than men holding hands. It may be that more hand holding is needed so it just becomes more common so people feel more confident in holding hands. It's got to be hard to stand out and be the only same sex couple holding hands in an area where people just don't see that.

Standing in someone else's shoes and experiencing life as they experience it would be an eye opener for many people.

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