DH has completely changed

[GeorgiaDe]

My DH has completely altered his worldview/ opinion over the last few years. It was gradual, and only now am I coming to realise the full extent of it. We've been together for 15 years.

He believes in the great reset, believes there will be a nuclear war, covid is a hoax and the vaccines are killing people. He's stockpiled around £3k worth of food/ camping equipment/ knives. Our spare room is full of this stuff. He's also invested thousands into cryptocurrency.

He believes that inflation is all part of the "plan" and all the world leaders are "in on it" together.

I can't take it anymore. He disrespects my opinion by continuing to talk about it daily, even when I've expressed that I do not share the same opinion and don't want to argue about it. He tells me that "I will see when the time comes."

Every time there's news of a celebrity death/ unexplained death of a young person, he blames the covid vaccine. He threatened to leave me if I got it, although changed his mind when I made clear how serious I was.

Aibu to feel at the end of my tether? It's so draining.

What I find odd is even if what your DH believes were true, why does he think he can protect himself from it? Stockpiling would only go so far. If there is a reset planned he is powerless against it so he might as well try and forget about it.

I do think there is no reasoning with him. As I said before it's like trying to reason with a religious person that God doesn't exist. They simply know it's true and pity you for your lack of belief. Religious God believing people tend to be more relaxed about their beliefs but not always.

What I find odd is even if what your DH believes were true, why does he think he can protect himself from it? Stockpiling would only go so far. If there is a reset planned he is powerless against it so he might as well try and forget about it.

From the little I know about it, they seem to be all about building communities (online and with their fellow echo chamber members) that will become physical communities when the SHTF! They use Telegram and other highly encoded means of messaging (even resorting to postal letters!!) so that they can remain untraceable. Same with search engines (so the government cannot follow what they reading / researching (?) on the web. I've also recently started to hear about 'The Great Push Back'... which I'm assuming is encouraging some civil disobedience.
(I'm really no expert but find it fascinating from a sociological perspective and read a few things!)

Also - "I really don't want to split up, I love him, however, this is constant and it's so so draining."

Could the house move possibly involve moving into separate homes? Not quite splitting up, but giving you respite from this draining aspect of him? You describe it as downsizing, could that make it financially possible?

Bullshit sources - do you know what the sources are that you call bullshit.

Research can be from any valid source. Anyone can write something online and get it published as news. That's where all the journalists do their research online from people on youtube and even people on here (mumsnet). There are tonnes of journalists on here starting topics and using our quotes.....

Research is research. The question is.... do you trust the source. Do you trust the person youtube. Are they credible, realistic, and does it make logical sense to you. Is that person respected.

I'd much rather listen to someone on youtube telling me they have been through something personally and talking about it from a real world perspective than by reading an article on the same topic from a newspaper written by a journalist who is has no real life experience on the same topic. Who is more credible?

I agree with the hubby - people not doing their own research are 'kinda lazy'. Yup I agree with it completely.

Research can be from any valid source.
As a scientific researcher, I can confirm that "research" isn't passively watching some videos that are being fed to you through an algorithim. I would also suggest that youtube isn't a valid source.

I'd much rather listen to someone on youtube telling me they have been through something personally and talking about it from a real world perspective than by reading an article on the same topic from a newspaper written by a journalist who is has no real life experience on the same topic
Baffling. Journalists are required to validate the claims they are making. They include interviews or quotes from someone who does have first hand experience of the subject being discussed. Often there are "long read" type articles where someone, who has been verified, will talk about their experiences.

Research is research.
I hate to hammer it home, but what you are doing is not research.

I am sorry but you are incorrect. Research has a specific meaning, what you are talking about is passive consumption. This is the ‘sheeple’ mentality that many conspiracy theorists level at others, ironically.

The YouTube videos we are discussing are not research, they are (often either misguided or for the benefit of the creator) opinions without a basis in reality, designed to scare people and often to get money out of them.

If you want to do some proper research I highly recommend you deep dive into the backgrounds of a good dozen of these YouTubers from sources other than themselves. You will likely not like what you find there; scammers, pick-up artists, political extremists, low level criminals and a few well meaning but ultimately very credulous individuals tend to make up the backbone of the YouTuber cabal that has radicalised so many people into believing an alternate reality.

The reality is that the world is pretty shit, I grant you, but it’s because there’s a group that runs and directs the world for their own shadowy ends. Humans aren’t competent enough, and can’t put aside their own selfish needs for long enough for that to work. I wish there was though, it would be much easier to go after them! The reality is that the problems we face are down to lots and lots of individuals, entities, and systems acting in their own interests in a non-coordinated way - that’s why it’s so hard to fix, because we’re talking about fixing a million problems, not one. I understand the desire for everything to be neat and simple, but it isn’t.

“The reality is that the world is pretty shit, I grant you, but it’s because there’s a group that runs and directs the world for their own shadowy ends”

Typo - It’s not, rather

I'm too damn old to worry about all this stuff, BUT my youngest, who has Asperger's, has developed OCD since the lockdowns. Our GP has referred him to the MH team. I expect it to be a long wait, & am encouraging him myself with interests & hobbies. It does SOUND like a similar thing tbh.

Research is research. The question is.... do you trust the source. Do you trust the person youtube. Are they credible, realistic, and does it make logical sense to you. Is that person respected

If that simple formula actually worked the inhabitants of Jonestown would have lived out their lives, MLM wouldn’t be a thing, the words scam and grifter wouldn’t be a part of our lexicon.

We all have a vulnerability to being misled, it’s not a failing or weakness, but it is absolutely part of being a human. Ignore that and you’ve instantly lost any objectivity.

I feel sorry for those basing youtube. With many dumping their TV licences due to the cost of living crisis watching youtube and newer versions of this ..... maybe we will all soon be watching the same thing with no arguments.

*Bashing (not basing)

This is your reply to all the reasonable posts pointing out what research actually is? @WGO

I choose not to have a tv license because of the cost but it doesn't mean I passively get all my information & news from videos shown to me on a youtube algorithim.

The point that the YouTube algorithm decides what you’re exposed to flies completely over your head then?

Thanks to the YouTube algorithm you will be watching 'the same thing' over and over again which will only serve to create an echo chamber where confirmation bias is king...

I can see why people's thinking altered during lockdown. Can't say I find the government or the BBC particularly trustworthy either.

I’ve known a few people like this. One was a friend. He was always reading up on conspiracy theories, but what seemed initially like an interest , became more obsessive. He retired early and then watched endless YouTube videos, joining campaigns and groups, that supported his views. I couldn’t change his opinions, and tbh it was hard work listening to the endless rants. I started to find it offensive, so severed contact.
I don’t believe you can change people like this, their obsession means everything they do and see supports their confirmation bias. Do what’s best for you, protect yourself.

He's in deep, I'd get out as soon as possible, you cannot save him, he doesn't believe he needs it, he thinks he's saving everyone else. It is a cult and he's lost to it, I'm sorry. You see the ones on here agreeing with his delusions? They are lost too, so take no notice of the gaslighting tripe they come out with. I had a friend like this, cut her out when she went full on with the 'covid is a hoax' and viruses don't exist at the beginning of the pandemic. I feel for her unvaccinated kids, especially the boy because unless he gets immunised against mumps before puberty, he could be made infertile by catching it after puberty. So her 'right' to be delusional trumps their rights to not be made vulnerable to all the easily vaccinated diseases and not be made infertile in his case. Fuck em, I cannot stand conspiracy theorists, they actively choose this bullshit and it's a big problem. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this, best of luck.

@Aquamarine1029 This!

It's not CT if it's backed by evidence. Laughing at the suggestion of the guardian as a credible source when they are nothing but globalist/corporatist economics with woke social policy.

Same for all mainstream media.

There is establishment power and establishment approved opposition. State anything else and your are a CTer.

It's not CT if it's backed by evidence.

@loginsaredicks

Ok, so pick one of the conspiracy theories referenced by Neil (he seems to ramble on about several), and outline the evidence?

Laughing at the suggestion of the guardian as a credible source

The guardian certainly have their own agenda, as do all media outlets. However they are vastly more credible than just watching videos on youtube, which is being posited as the alternative.

As I said before, read several different outlets, check the primary sources behind the headlines.

There's too many conspiracy theory threads thread running right now

Pick one of the CTs referenced by OPs husband

Look there are, in my view, positive reasons to be a prepper. We have stockpiled food and have a bug out bag. The food because if theres another lock down we don't have to fight for loo rolls! But more importantly I dread being poor again and having food in alleviate the worry.
the bag is because we have almost been flooded twice so I have essential items to revamp to a hotel or a church hall.etc
however you do sounds somewhat unstable and unable to justify his actions apart from total society collapse

I would genuinely like it if someone did this as whenever I've asked I've only ever had 'it's all in Google, if you're interested then look it up' or 'do your own research' etc. Never even had so much as a YouTube link with evidence in.

Whereas if I feel strongly about something and state it as a belief or fact, I would always happily supply the evidence I believe supports the belief or fact if asked by someone interested.