DH has completely changed

[GeorgiaDe]

My DH has completely altered his worldview/ opinion over the last few years. It was gradual, and only now am I coming to realise the full extent of it. We've been together for 15 years.

He believes in the great reset, believes there will be a nuclear war, covid is a hoax and the vaccines are killing people. He's stockpiled around £3k worth of food/ camping equipment/ knives. Our spare room is full of this stuff. He's also invested thousands into cryptocurrency.

He believes that inflation is all part of the "plan" and all the world leaders are "in on it" together.

I can't take it anymore. He disrespects my opinion by continuing to talk about it daily, even when I've expressed that I do not share the same opinion and don't want to argue about it. He tells me that "I will see when the time comes."

Every time there's news of a celebrity death/ unexplained death of a young person, he blames the covid vaccine. He threatened to leave me if I got it, although changed his mind when I made clear how serious I was.

Aibu to feel at the end of my tether? It's so draining.

"need" to know? Really. Unless OP honestly cares about his looney beliefs ( unlikely and unnecessary) she needs to do no such thing 🙄

Having worked in a senior nhs role through the pandemic I’m always amazed at how much credit the government and world leaders get that there’s people who think they could coordinate something like this! Seriously, they do not have the ability or skills and are totally winging it on a daily basis with no bigger plan.

Yeah, true. It's like when Covid ran out of steam, they needed something new to feed on.

What's the story with Bill Gates, I can't remember if he's a paedophile lizard who wants to microchip us or something?

I don't believe covid is a hoax - I know people who have suffered from it. But some of the other points like stockpiling and prepping I don't believe it's that crazy when you look at supply chain management and then look at the climate change issue, seed failures, transport interruptions, declining resources in water supply and a whole load of economic factors and examine them as a whole to look at the big picture.

I think it's a sensible thing.

What I don't see as sensible is someone who is consuming facts from 'one' source only with no question but that has such a strong opposition to people who are putting in effort.

The behaviour and personality traits of the husband shouting etc and turning off the tv - doesn't sound nice.

However, seems that agreeing with his entitlement to have his opinion and her have her opinion is not acceptable from the comments because one person 'must' be a winner and the other person the crazy loser. The problem is in 'this' real world nothing is black and white like that.

Isn't it funny how the researchers don't call the non researchers conspiracy theorists for consuming whatever news of the world to sky news just feeds them with? Who ever questions where their ideas are coming from. Do people ask if they are Sun Readers? News of the world? Or if they actually watch any news at all or just repeat what their mates tell them?

You must feel like he has landed on another planet.

I'm not sure why some people are brain-washed and allow issues consume their life.

It's okay to question things without becoming immersed in a paranoid existence.

How was his childhood, was there trauma? I read that people with trauma in their childhood were more likely to believe conspiracy theories. That’s the case for a family member of mine who believes some similar things to your DH (everything is about government/ global elite control). For her the world is not a safe place and people are not to be trusted. My life experience is that the world is generally benign, people are to be trusted (the government is shit, but too shit to carry through a global conspiracy).

doesn’t help you now even if that’s the case, but might help with explaining how/why he’s got to this point. I think you need to be very very careful though.

@WGO I don't believe covid is a hoax

Cool, but OPs husband does.

Whom the thread is about yet you seem weirdly invested in claiming he has "done his research", and OP needs to be more open minded.

Ofgs. Has she considered the moon might be made of green cheese?
No.

I have a friend a bit like your DH, just not to the extent of hoarding tinned food and suchlike (that I know of anyway)

He looks up to the likes of David Icke, a regular guest on podcasts who believes the queen and her family are some sort of reptilian species and thought covid was one big hoax. The man is barking mad.

It's easy for me to tune out when my friend goes off on one about a cashless society and conspiracies as I just don't message back. It must be extremely grating living with somebody who has those beliefs.

He needs an Internet detox so that he's not continually filling his mind with shit.

Unfortunately people like that won't be convinced otherwise. It's really hard. I hope you're OK OP.

@foliageeverywhere it's not wierdly invested. OP did say that he watches alot of stuff on youtube - go back and read that. Maybe I read too much information and should have also skimmed it.

Isn't it funny how the researchers don't call the non researchers conspiracy theorists for consuming whatever news of the world to sky news just feeds them with? Who ever questions where their ideas are coming from. Do people ask if they are Sun Readers? News of the world? Or if they actually watch any news at all or just repeat what their mates tell them?

I am a researcher.

Someone is a conspiracy theorist when they hold beliefs that are not backed by a robust evidence base.

News outlets aren't reliable, particularly with reporting scientific research, and I'd advise anyone to look beyond the headlines and consider the primary sources. However, they tend to be more reliable than videos from youtube and bitchute, where people are incentivised to pump out controversial content and there are no regulations on spouting utter nonsense.

That rather reinforces my point if you think that watching "alot of stuff of youtube" is conducting systematic and robust research.

@WGO watching batshit YouTube videos is not research.

there is all sorts of awful corruption going on that would benefit from research and a detailed analysis. But that’s very clearly not what the ops husband is doing.

hope you’re doing okay op.

Yup, gaslighting again

This. Sending hugs

I think the worlds going a bit bonkers. I stay away from YouTube and internet videos / news but I do have a mind to try and make my life a bit more self sustainable.

I know I couldn’t live with a husband like yours OP. I also don’t think I could live with someone who 100% believed everything is fine and dandy. The last three years have been very weird… I’m not liking the look of the near future either.

I don’t believe society is going to collapse. I do believe it’s about to get incredibly difficult for the vast majority of us.

For crying out loud please stop claiming that he is a ‘researcher’ or that he (or I assume
you) is doing ‘research’. He is not, you are not. He is, at best, a passive consumer of someone else’s assertions. That is not research, it’s lazy.

There are genuine, real world bad guys and horrors and - yes - conspiracies out there, but they don’t get exposed by watching someone else wang on about the WEF or Great Reset or whatever whilst trying to sell their latest merch. They get exposed through painstaking, often forensic evidence gathering by GENUINE researchers. It takes years, and because the results seem boring to much of the public nothing changes.

Remember the Panama Papers? We should all still be up in arms about the sheer scale of the corruption and money laundering that was brought into the light. But no, instead conspiracists like the made up things like global paedophile cabals, or nazi (Jewish!!!) leaders in Ukraine, or Bill Gates microchipping the world.

We should all be angry at how the world is, and the way that the corrupt, grifting bad guys often seem to win. Funny though, many of these bad guys have managed to convince people like OP’s husband they are the ‘researchers’ on the side of the angels. Cough, Alex Jones, Graham Phillips, Gonzalo Lora etc, Cough.

@hybridoaties Can you link where it says all that please?

Agree with a PP QAnonCasualties is a great support group for people in your situation and you’ll find a lot of similarities in experiences there. Just google it and take a look.

Inform him of the, quite likely, conspiracy theory that China is behind Bitcoin and crypto was birthed to disrupt traditional western currencies and bank systems.

There are many 'experts' that talk on this very subject.

I was surprised to learn how many men have followed Russell Brand (YouTube and podcasts) on crypto as the people's banking system (wonder what they make of it after the recent events with that), Covid as a hoax, The Great Reset etc.

Lockdown seems to have untethered a number of people. To be fair, redundancy, loss of status, collapse in finances are all major blows and some people are knocked down in a way that makes it difficult to recover. I understand why some people become susceptible to algorithmic manipulation and being led towards some very disturbing out-grouping and theories.

OP I'm so sorry your in this sad and difficult situation 💐

In my limited experience I think it's very unlikely he will emerge from this rabbithole anytime soon, and indeed it's quite likely it will intensify.

I think you should pause the house move plans and give yourself a set period of time to reflect on whether you want this to be your life moving forward. Personally I think it would be harmful to your wellbeing. I would suggest paying for some initial legal advice re separating finances when assets include crypto.

Good luck

You are no longer compatible.

If you were both lifelong vegans and he suddenly began going out shooting animals and dealing with the carcasses in the kitchen and then eating them, telling you that this was the only way to live, then you would no longer be compatible. This is how it has become for you.

with no dc, you can make a clean break

a bit of prepping is fine and probably sensible but his obsession is interrupting and disrupting your every day lives.

Does he have mental health issues?

He needs help as he is brainwashed. This could just be a phase. When I have thought that the whole world was gonna end etc was when I was in a serious depression which I became so consumed by I was too blinded to see it. This was due to increasing stress over a few years which brought me to a crisis point. Luckily I got help before it was too late. Maybe if I didn’t have a medical background I wouldn’t have so I do empathise somewhat with your OH. Does he have any mental health issues that you aren’t very aware of perhaps which all these other theories could be feeding off? Have there been any events prior to this that have put him in a more vulnerable postion?