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CF have come to stay, how to handle it

1000 replies

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 14:42

Have name changed as this will be very outing.

DP asked if some relatives could come and stay for a few days. These are actually relatives of his ex wife, not blood relatives to him, but he knew them a good few years ago. We live in a holiday type area and have the room.

I didn't know much about them except they were late thirties/early forties, apparently lovely. And have had a hard couple of years as their 9yo dd has been quite ill, but is now in recovery and things are looking good.
So of course I said yes. Sounds like they have had a crap time and needed a bit of a break from it all. Said they were coming just the 2 of them, not bringing their dd.

They arrived 4 days ago. Haven't yet said when they are leaving.

The issue is they are incredibly entitled and I really really am beginning to not like them. They arrived with nothing - not a bottle of wine or a bunch of flowers. not that I expect anything but its etiquette surely to arrive with a gesture when you're staying in someones house for free. But that in itself wasn't an issue, just a little surprising.
They were all smiles and hugging DP, saying hi and basically ignored me for a good 10 minutes, just a little hello after that. No word of thanks for saying we could come or anything at this point either.
They haven't offered to buy any food. Me and DP are cooking for them. Haven't bought any drink, though they've been getting through ours very well.
Initially I thought maybe they are skint. Also on my mind was it must be awful having an ill child and they are perhaps still a bit stressed on this.

A few days in, it transpires that during the last 8 months they have been abroad on holiday twice (just them, not their dd), and a week away with their dd. So not short of holidays or 'breaks from it all'. Plus they are thinking of having their kitchen remodelled.
Still not massively friendly with me. But over the top with DP. Still no word of thanks for anything, not even after cooking a meal.
The wife also put baby wipes down the toilet when i'd specifcally said nothing in the toilet please as its a septic tank and anything other than normal toilet roll blocks it (only mentioend because we've learnt that every time after guests the thing blocks because they put sanitary towels, toilet wipes and god knows what down it, and it costs us to get it unblocked). Her reason was, she always uses babywipes on her face. Well ok, put them in the damn bin then.

Last night was almost my final straw. We went out to dinner. Their suggestion. I had a slightly more expensive starter than the rest of them (but wasn't drinking, so that should surely even out). By more expensive it was about £5 more.
When bill comes, DP said lets split down the middle (actually fully thinking they would say their treat for their stay so far) and they fussed about me having the more expensive starter but grudgingly agreed even though I hadn't had alcohol and both of them had.

I mean, seriously. £5 more, and we've fed them for 4 days, they've drank copious bottles of wine and beer while they've done sod all to help out - no offer to clear up or anything, or help fetch food or drink in. Literally nothing.

If they are so seriously short of money, then don't drive a 4 hour journey and invite yourself to someones house and freeload. Although a kitchen remodel isn't cheap.

I want them to leave. DP is also getting really pissed off with them. They clearly didn't need the break after their shit couple of years because they've been abroad more in last 8 months than we have in 4 years. Plus we are far from rich, we are literally scraping by most of the time. Feel like we've totally been taken advantage of.

I want to find out when they are leaving and I need to try and tell them in the nicest possible way to hurry up and bugger off.
So any ways I can word this, without looking like a total bitch?

OP posts:
ifIwerenotanandroid · 19/08/2022 19:13

Enjoy dinner, OP!

Keep us updated. You're doing splendidly.

adobeadobe · 19/08/2022 19:13

I wouldn't be surprised if once you make it clear they have to leave tomorrow and figure out you are not paying for dinner, they will help themselves to some of the alcohol if not other stuff before they go and put it in their car (if they can do it without you noticing) as they will be of the mindset that they paid for it, so it's theirs.

swifttwist · 19/08/2022 19:14

“You’ve left your receipt on the side, do you need it or will I just put it in the bin”?

WhenPushComesToShove · 19/08/2022 19:14

I'm loving this thread and so invested... Hopefully they will not ask for any money and leave in the morning but I still think your OH should say something along the lines of, 'Thanks so much for the steaks. It's been lovely having you here and we wish you could stay longer (🤥) but Aunt Ethel and her 3 boys arrive on sunday. What time are you planning to leave in the morning?'

AtleastitsnotMonday · 19/08/2022 19:14

In the presence of Mr and Mrs CF, get teen to enter kitchen chewing gum. (Having briefed teen in advance) loudly say "oy teen! Get rid of that gum" and get them to spit it into the receipt, screw it up and throw it in the bin.

LivingByTheSeaSoon · 19/08/2022 19:14

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 19:11

They just opened the crisps! Dinner is imminent.
I thought they were bought for later in the night snacks

Maybe the crisps are for you and DH, they'll prob scoff the steaks
#icingonthecake

AtleastitsnotMonday · 19/08/2022 19:14

In the presence of Mr and Mrs CF, get teen to enter kitchen chewing gum. (Having briefed teen in advance) loudly say "oy teen! Get rid of that gum" and get them to spit it into the receipt, screw it up and throw it in the bin.

WhatTimeDoYouCallThis · 19/08/2022 19:14

When they are finally leaving hide any remaining plonk or doubtless it will go with them!

tensmum1964 · 19/08/2022 19:15

Can't wait to see what happens re the receipt so shamelessly following.

TwoMonthsOff · 19/08/2022 19:15

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 19:11

They just opened the crisps! Dinner is imminent.
I thought they were bought for later in the night snacks

Hurry along OP they’re obviously hungry 😭

MinnieGirl · 19/08/2022 19:15

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 19:09

I sneaked a look at the receipt. It was £103 odd. Definitely not paying that for 1 meal and for alcohol they've already drank throughout the week.

Chips and onion rings almost done, salad made. Putting steaks on now.
Wish me luck.

£103 is very good value for their board and lodgings….
When they ask for the money just laugh…

LivingByTheSeaSoon · 19/08/2022 19:15

AtleastitsnotMonday · 19/08/2022 19:14

In the presence of Mr and Mrs CF, get teen to enter kitchen chewing gum. (Having briefed teen in advance) loudly say "oy teen! Get rid of that gum" and get them to spit it into the receipt, screw it up and throw it in the bin.

Genius!!!

WitchDancer · 19/08/2022 19:15

Just be careful the CF don't take the booze with them when they leave! Lock the fridge if you have to Wine

ChateauMargaux · 19/08/2022 19:15

Or maybe... Thanks for leaving the receipt.. when you get to the amount we spent on your food these past 2 days I will let you know!! The first 2 days are on us!!

WitchDancer · 19/08/2022 19:15

Just be careful the CF don't take the booze with them when they leave! Lock the fridge if you have to Wine

Shelby2010 · 19/08/2022 19:16

How about:
’Thanks for the food, I don’t mind cooking steaks that nice. What are you planning to buy for tomorrow’s feast? Maybe you could get Champagne too? Being treated is the best part of having guests!

By the way, my elderly aunt is coming to stay, so you won’t mind airbeds in the lounge will you? When we blended families we made it a rule that none of the kids would have to give up their rooms for guests.’

Scottishskifun · 19/08/2022 19:17

Under no circumstances pay the receipt amount!
Good luck for dinner hopefully they leave tomorrow!

Daleksatemyshed · 19/08/2022 19:17

£103! And they think you're going to pay them back! Fuck that, CF 's indeed.
Stay strong @SeriouslyLosingTheWill , the MN massive has your back

Unhurried · 19/08/2022 19:17

Lordy, I’ve never anticipated an OP update as much as I am here. iPad’s about to run out of battery. Thank heavens I’ve finally understood the bookmark option.
Stay strong OP and relish every mouthful of your steak dinner.

Roussette · 19/08/2022 19:17

Well done OP. Sounds like a good result. Ignore the receipt big time.

HeadacheEarthquake · 19/08/2022 19:17

I would be pissed off if they'd opened crisps as dinner was being finished, what kind of psychos are they Shock

WhatTimeDoYouCallThis · 19/08/2022 19:18

When they are finally leaving hide any remaining plonk or doubtless it will go with them!

ifIwerenotanandroid · 19/08/2022 19:18

WitchDancer · 19/08/2022 19:15

Just be careful the CF don't take the booze with them when they leave! Lock the fridge if you have to Wine

No need to leave it in the fridge where it's vulnerable. When CFs go to bed tonight, put all your booze in the boot of your car. It can go back in the house/fridge when they're safely out of the way.

Also, count your teaspoons & lock up the family silver.😂

IrisVersicolor · 19/08/2022 19:19

I think you need to prepare your reply to their request for contribution to the Tesco shop.

Gosh I thought you’d finally come up with a polite gift for hosting you for 5 days.

Teateaandmoretea · 19/08/2022 19:19

I haven’t rtft. But I absolutely can’t believe that at the very least when you went out for dinner they didn’t insist on picking up the bill. Let alone moaning about a more expensive starter.

Being tight fisted and grabby really isn’t a nice feature.

If I go out everything being equal and spend more than others I make sure I pay more but not in these circs.

I really hope they are trotting on their way op. Maybe present the cf-ers with a bill?

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