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CF have come to stay, how to handle it

1000 replies

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 14:42

Have name changed as this will be very outing.

DP asked if some relatives could come and stay for a few days. These are actually relatives of his ex wife, not blood relatives to him, but he knew them a good few years ago. We live in a holiday type area and have the room.

I didn't know much about them except they were late thirties/early forties, apparently lovely. And have had a hard couple of years as their 9yo dd has been quite ill, but is now in recovery and things are looking good.
So of course I said yes. Sounds like they have had a crap time and needed a bit of a break from it all. Said they were coming just the 2 of them, not bringing their dd.

They arrived 4 days ago. Haven't yet said when they are leaving.

The issue is they are incredibly entitled and I really really am beginning to not like them. They arrived with nothing - not a bottle of wine or a bunch of flowers. not that I expect anything but its etiquette surely to arrive with a gesture when you're staying in someones house for free. But that in itself wasn't an issue, just a little surprising.
They were all smiles and hugging DP, saying hi and basically ignored me for a good 10 minutes, just a little hello after that. No word of thanks for saying we could come or anything at this point either.
They haven't offered to buy any food. Me and DP are cooking for them. Haven't bought any drink, though they've been getting through ours very well.
Initially I thought maybe they are skint. Also on my mind was it must be awful having an ill child and they are perhaps still a bit stressed on this.

A few days in, it transpires that during the last 8 months they have been abroad on holiday twice (just them, not their dd), and a week away with their dd. So not short of holidays or 'breaks from it all'. Plus they are thinking of having their kitchen remodelled.
Still not massively friendly with me. But over the top with DP. Still no word of thanks for anything, not even after cooking a meal.
The wife also put baby wipes down the toilet when i'd specifcally said nothing in the toilet please as its a septic tank and anything other than normal toilet roll blocks it (only mentioend because we've learnt that every time after guests the thing blocks because they put sanitary towels, toilet wipes and god knows what down it, and it costs us to get it unblocked). Her reason was, she always uses babywipes on her face. Well ok, put them in the damn bin then.

Last night was almost my final straw. We went out to dinner. Their suggestion. I had a slightly more expensive starter than the rest of them (but wasn't drinking, so that should surely even out). By more expensive it was about £5 more.
When bill comes, DP said lets split down the middle (actually fully thinking they would say their treat for their stay so far) and they fussed about me having the more expensive starter but grudgingly agreed even though I hadn't had alcohol and both of them had.

I mean, seriously. £5 more, and we've fed them for 4 days, they've drank copious bottles of wine and beer while they've done sod all to help out - no offer to clear up or anything, or help fetch food or drink in. Literally nothing.

If they are so seriously short of money, then don't drive a 4 hour journey and invite yourself to someones house and freeload. Although a kitchen remodel isn't cheap.

I want them to leave. DP is also getting really pissed off with them. They clearly didn't need the break after their shit couple of years because they've been abroad more in last 8 months than we have in 4 years. Plus we are far from rich, we are literally scraping by most of the time. Feel like we've totally been taken advantage of.

I want to find out when they are leaving and I need to try and tell them in the nicest possible way to hurry up and bugger off.
So any ways I can word this, without looking like a total bitch?

OP posts:
PrawnofthePatriarchy · 19/08/2022 18:10

I'm utterly gripped.

FOJN · 19/08/2022 18:10

I hope they got fillet.

Me too so that OP can thank them effusively for their generosity before they have chance to present a receipt.🤣

lifesnotaspectatorsport · 19/08/2022 18:11

Omg what a moment to find this thread!! I'm DYING to know what these CFs actually bought ... Grin

LondonJax · 19/08/2022 18:12

Well, if they start any shenanigans they'll need the steak for their black eye!

CFers indeed!

Starlight9876 · 19/08/2022 18:12

Proposed film title... 'So much at Steak'

A blockbuster I am sure!

TimeAtTheBar · 19/08/2022 18:12

Mmmm I really want steak now.

<misses point of thread>

notanothertakeaway · 19/08/2022 18:12

It doesn't take 13 mins to unload shopping

I'm guessing there's a big showdown going on

LivingByTheSeaSoon · 19/08/2022 18:13

Starlight9876 · 19/08/2022 18:12

Proposed film title... 'So much at Steak'

A blockbuster I am sure!

🤣🤣

5YearsLeft · 19/08/2022 18:13

Feck. Cannot sit here with tea and wait for updates because I have a presentation to make for work. Life is damn unfair.

Slightly ashamed of how much I want to know whether they try to hand OP the receipt. I think they will, especially after their restaurant behavior. Hope you’ve grown a titanium spine in the past 24h, OP.

MyNameIsAngelicaSchuyler · 19/08/2022 18:13

Starlight9876 · 19/08/2022 18:12

Proposed film title... 'So much at Steak'

A blockbuster I am sure!

😂

come back OP! What is happening?!

takealettermsjones · 19/08/2022 18:14

Omg. They're arguing aren't they. Sock it to them OP!!

Tenner says they've bought steak, but only for themselves...

LivingByTheSeaSoon · 19/08/2022 18:14

I wonder if the OP has got those saloon type doors in her kitchen....

SteerClear · 19/08/2022 18:15

She's packing there's stuff and throwing them out

Lottapianos · 19/08/2022 18:16

'Proposed film title... 'So much at Steak''🤣🤣🤣

AdoraBell · 19/08/2022 18:16

Go out when you finish work OP

Then get DP to tell them they’ll be leaving on X day next week.

takealettermsjones · 19/08/2022 18:17

LivingByTheSeaSoon · 19/08/2022 18:14

I wonder if the OP has got those saloon type doors in her kitchen....

"Don't let the door hit you where the good lord split you!" 😆

Itsanewme · 19/08/2022 18:17

Not next week ! Tomorrow. They have taken advantage enough.

LivingByTheSeaSoon · 19/08/2022 18:17

My OH has just come in, I've told him to sort his own dinner which is steak as I'm teetering on the edge watching this thread .....oh the irony....

TwoMonthsOff · 19/08/2022 18:18

That’s a whole new level of CF
the starter! Oh my days
get rid

lioncitygirl · 19/08/2022 18:18

I’m having steak today - just because of this thread! 🥩

Lmf685 · 19/08/2022 18:18

put my child early to bed for this …. OP what’s going down ?

PlainJaneSuperBrain99 · 19/08/2022 18:18

Look - i get that they've been CF, but surely the best outcome is that they buy the dinner and then leave (soon) on good terms. I can't get on board about actively seeking drama and confrontation (which is what some posters are encouraging, not the op).

Everyone has different expectations of what staying with someone entails. We've had bil and sil stay and they drink us out of house and home with no offers of contributing the odd bottle of wine. But when we visited them, they refused to let us pay for anything... so, to them, the norm is that the host pays for all. In my family it is more turn-takey (ie, you sorted last nights dinner, let us buy a take away tonight).

So maybe these guests were going to invite you to stay and treat you as generously as you've treated them in your house.

EverythingsPeachy · 19/08/2022 18:18

Please tell me they have asked for the shopping money back and you have told them to fuck right off OP. Some people are beyond CF's. Time to sort them out 😂

EverythingsPeachy · 19/08/2022 18:19

Please tell me they have asked for the shopping money back and you have told them to fuck right off OP. Some people are beyond CF's. Time to sort them out 😂

IcakethereforeIam · 19/08/2022 18:20

Such high steaks, sorry.

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