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CF have come to stay, how to handle it

1000 replies

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 14:42

Have name changed as this will be very outing.

DP asked if some relatives could come and stay for a few days. These are actually relatives of his ex wife, not blood relatives to him, but he knew them a good few years ago. We live in a holiday type area and have the room.

I didn't know much about them except they were late thirties/early forties, apparently lovely. And have had a hard couple of years as their 9yo dd has been quite ill, but is now in recovery and things are looking good.
So of course I said yes. Sounds like they have had a crap time and needed a bit of a break from it all. Said they were coming just the 2 of them, not bringing their dd.

They arrived 4 days ago. Haven't yet said when they are leaving.

The issue is they are incredibly entitled and I really really am beginning to not like them. They arrived with nothing - not a bottle of wine or a bunch of flowers. not that I expect anything but its etiquette surely to arrive with a gesture when you're staying in someones house for free. But that in itself wasn't an issue, just a little surprising.
They were all smiles and hugging DP, saying hi and basically ignored me for a good 10 minutes, just a little hello after that. No word of thanks for saying we could come or anything at this point either.
They haven't offered to buy any food. Me and DP are cooking for them. Haven't bought any drink, though they've been getting through ours very well.
Initially I thought maybe they are skint. Also on my mind was it must be awful having an ill child and they are perhaps still a bit stressed on this.

A few days in, it transpires that during the last 8 months they have been abroad on holiday twice (just them, not their dd), and a week away with their dd. So not short of holidays or 'breaks from it all'. Plus they are thinking of having their kitchen remodelled.
Still not massively friendly with me. But over the top with DP. Still no word of thanks for anything, not even after cooking a meal.
The wife also put baby wipes down the toilet when i'd specifcally said nothing in the toilet please as its a septic tank and anything other than normal toilet roll blocks it (only mentioend because we've learnt that every time after guests the thing blocks because they put sanitary towels, toilet wipes and god knows what down it, and it costs us to get it unblocked). Her reason was, she always uses babywipes on her face. Well ok, put them in the damn bin then.

Last night was almost my final straw. We went out to dinner. Their suggestion. I had a slightly more expensive starter than the rest of them (but wasn't drinking, so that should surely even out). By more expensive it was about £5 more.
When bill comes, DP said lets split down the middle (actually fully thinking they would say their treat for their stay so far) and they fussed about me having the more expensive starter but grudgingly agreed even though I hadn't had alcohol and both of them had.

I mean, seriously. £5 more, and we've fed them for 4 days, they've drank copious bottles of wine and beer while they've done sod all to help out - no offer to clear up or anything, or help fetch food or drink in. Literally nothing.

If they are so seriously short of money, then don't drive a 4 hour journey and invite yourself to someones house and freeload. Although a kitchen remodel isn't cheap.

I want them to leave. DP is also getting really pissed off with them. They clearly didn't need the break after their shit couple of years because they've been abroad more in last 8 months than we have in 4 years. Plus we are far from rich, we are literally scraping by most of the time. Feel like we've totally been taken advantage of.

I want to find out when they are leaving and I need to try and tell them in the nicest possible way to hurry up and bugger off.
So any ways I can word this, without looking like a total bitch?

OP posts:
ifIwerenotanandroid · 19/08/2022 17:48

You OK, Blossom?

Songoftheseas · 19/08/2022 17:48

Shamelessly placemarking - I need to know what happens!!!

HandbagAtDawn · 19/08/2022 17:48

Tomorrow morning, ask them over breakfast ‘what time are you leaving today?’

Take it from there.

mamabear715 · 19/08/2022 17:49

Bet they've been for a meal & just bring fish fingers back from Tesco for you guys..

Megapint · 19/08/2022 17:49

MzHz · 19/08/2022 17:42

I don’t think they have gone shopping - they’re over 90mins already

sad to say, this is going to end badly

Of course it is, what would be the Point of the thread if it didn't have a hilarious, outrageous ending?

blackpearwhitelilies · 19/08/2022 17:49

Lmf685 · 19/08/2022 17:47

I want wine now ... and steak haha

Me too. I'm desperate for a steak, but we are a vegetarian household, alas.

Pushmepullu · 19/08/2022 17:49

Onandupw · 19/08/2022 17:05

If they ask about money say oh yes, I’m glad that you brought that up. So if your contribution was £x for dinner tonight we can take that off the £x for all the other dinners over the last night. So in total you owe us £x.

This, or, “sorry hadn’t realised we were doing this, shall I just add the past few days receipts now or just before you leave tomorrow morning ?”
Do not say you will pay anything and do not ask them when they were planning on leaving. State it as a fact that they are going tomorrow morning, thought they knew that.

alibongo5 · 19/08/2022 17:50

Roussette · 19/08/2022 17:41

OP might be unpacking their shopping now!

She can't say hang on a minute, I've got to let someone know what you've bought!

😂

DisforDarkChocolate · 19/08/2022 17:50

Don't worry about being a bitch, if you offend them they won't try to come back.

Lottapianos · 19/08/2022 17:50

'When you realise that with CF's it's very freeing, and it makes it so much easier for a decent person to be absolutely ruthless in return.😁'

Very true. It's hard to get your head around how bloody cheeky freeloaders like this can be, but you just have to learn to stand up to them. Does wonders for your self respect. I have a CF friend who is just not allowed to stay with us anymore - if he asks, I say it's not a good time and we'll meet him for dinner or whatever instead. Got sick of martyring myself and expecting different results

UWhatNow · 19/08/2022 17:51

Placemarking. Please don’t leave us hanging op.

Roussette · 19/08/2022 17:51

I'm agog, and in precisely 7 minutes I have to go out to somewhere with no mobile signal. Damn!

Lmf685 · 19/08/2022 17:51

Pushmepullu · 19/08/2022 17:49

This, or, “sorry hadn’t realised we were doing this, shall I just add the past few days receipts now or just before you leave tomorrow morning ?”
Do not say you will pay anything and do not ask them when they were planning on leaving. State it as a fact that they are going tomorrow morning, thought they knew that.

'I will just go and grab the receipts from the last 4 days food and wine shop, so glad you brought this up as i felt uncomfortable to ask, thanks'

DonutDoThat · 19/08/2022 17:52

Ooh exciting, I read this when you first posted and was going to come back to comment, didn't expect it to be this juicy when I came back !
Can't wait to find out what happens next😬, oh and good job so far, cheeky fuckers

stuntbubbles · 19/08/2022 17:52

I’m on 5% battery and nap-trapped, absolutely desperate for these people to return with their yellow-sticker haul

myyellowcar · 19/08/2022 17:53

I bet they’ve took themselves out for a McDonald’s

LilliaJones · 19/08/2022 17:53

I've never been so invested in a thread!!
What absolute fuckery from their side!

After they've left PLEASE message them and lost out their cheeky fuckery. I'd send them screenshots of the thread and show them hundreds of people think they're being CF too. But I'm petty.

LivingByTheSeaSoon · 19/08/2022 17:53

Come tomorrow morning I'd be more inclined to say 'off you fuck' with a sweeping arm movement towards my front door

Starlight9876 · 19/08/2022 17:53

The nation holds its collective breath ...

IWentAwayIStayedAway · 19/08/2022 17:54

I'm actually embarrassed for them!

DonutDoThat · 19/08/2022 17:54

LivingByTheSeaSoon · 19/08/2022 17:53

Come tomorrow morning I'd be more inclined to say 'off you fuck' with a sweeping arm movement towards my front door

😂😂😂

Ladyof2022 · 19/08/2022 17:54

WillYouDoTheFandango · 19/08/2022 14:45

Who cares if they think you’re a bitch? They’re freeloading cheeky fuckers who aren’t related to either of you.

Be as blunt as you like and ask them to leave.

THIS.

You have been an absolute MUG and I am astounded that you have just let these cheeky fuckers walk all over you.

People can only use you if you let them. WHY have you let them?

They aren't even your DP's kin, FFS!

Your OP made me want to cry at first!

Then it made me want to ask for your address so I can come and get a free holiday as well! (only kidding)

fruitbrewhaha · 19/08/2022 17:55

I bet my arse they dont return with steaks, they return with some shitty ready meals or something.

figmaofmyimagination · 19/08/2022 17:55

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 16:59

If they go to the pub and eat after I asked them to get dinner, I shall throw them out there and then. I really don't think they'd do that.

But then, I didn't think someone was capable of making a cuppa and not asking the person whose actual house it was if they wanted one, when they were sat inches away - and chatting to them.

One of my friends came to stay and did this, I was staggered! Glad it wasn’t just me 😆

Sluj · 19/08/2022 17:55

Mumsnet really needs some kind of a notification system for when an OP posts 🤔

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