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CF have come to stay, how to handle it

1000 replies

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 14:42

Have name changed as this will be very outing.

DP asked if some relatives could come and stay for a few days. These are actually relatives of his ex wife, not blood relatives to him, but he knew them a good few years ago. We live in a holiday type area and have the room.

I didn't know much about them except they were late thirties/early forties, apparently lovely. And have had a hard couple of years as their 9yo dd has been quite ill, but is now in recovery and things are looking good.
So of course I said yes. Sounds like they have had a crap time and needed a bit of a break from it all. Said they were coming just the 2 of them, not bringing their dd.

They arrived 4 days ago. Haven't yet said when they are leaving.

The issue is they are incredibly entitled and I really really am beginning to not like them. They arrived with nothing - not a bottle of wine or a bunch of flowers. not that I expect anything but its etiquette surely to arrive with a gesture when you're staying in someones house for free. But that in itself wasn't an issue, just a little surprising.
They were all smiles and hugging DP, saying hi and basically ignored me for a good 10 minutes, just a little hello after that. No word of thanks for saying we could come or anything at this point either.
They haven't offered to buy any food. Me and DP are cooking for them. Haven't bought any drink, though they've been getting through ours very well.
Initially I thought maybe they are skint. Also on my mind was it must be awful having an ill child and they are perhaps still a bit stressed on this.

A few days in, it transpires that during the last 8 months they have been abroad on holiday twice (just them, not their dd), and a week away with their dd. So not short of holidays or 'breaks from it all'. Plus they are thinking of having their kitchen remodelled.
Still not massively friendly with me. But over the top with DP. Still no word of thanks for anything, not even after cooking a meal.
The wife also put baby wipes down the toilet when i'd specifcally said nothing in the toilet please as its a septic tank and anything other than normal toilet roll blocks it (only mentioend because we've learnt that every time after guests the thing blocks because they put sanitary towels, toilet wipes and god knows what down it, and it costs us to get it unblocked). Her reason was, she always uses babywipes on her face. Well ok, put them in the damn bin then.

Last night was almost my final straw. We went out to dinner. Their suggestion. I had a slightly more expensive starter than the rest of them (but wasn't drinking, so that should surely even out). By more expensive it was about £5 more.
When bill comes, DP said lets split down the middle (actually fully thinking they would say their treat for their stay so far) and they fussed about me having the more expensive starter but grudgingly agreed even though I hadn't had alcohol and both of them had.

I mean, seriously. £5 more, and we've fed them for 4 days, they've drank copious bottles of wine and beer while they've done sod all to help out - no offer to clear up or anything, or help fetch food or drink in. Literally nothing.

If they are so seriously short of money, then don't drive a 4 hour journey and invite yourself to someones house and freeload. Although a kitchen remodel isn't cheap.

I want them to leave. DP is also getting really pissed off with them. They clearly didn't need the break after their shit couple of years because they've been abroad more in last 8 months than we have in 4 years. Plus we are far from rich, we are literally scraping by most of the time. Feel like we've totally been taken advantage of.

I want to find out when they are leaving and I need to try and tell them in the nicest possible way to hurry up and bugger off.
So any ways I can word this, without looking like a total bitch?

OP posts:
badbaduncle · 19/08/2022 17:38

👀

LivingByTheSeaSoon · 19/08/2022 17:38

Starlight9876 · 19/08/2022 17:36

They have been longer than expected. Maybe DP should send them a text message asking if they are OK/ or asking if they have got lost

Or if there's no steaks 2 legs of lamb will do

Beepbeepenergy · 19/08/2022 17:38

Cheeky fuckers - they would have never got in but would definitely been kicked out by now
we don’t do people staying we don’t like it. Good luck
keep us updated… are they back yet ?

Starlight9876 · 19/08/2022 17:38

IglesiasPiggl · 19/08/2022 17:33

Never in my life have I anticipated someone's return from the shops with such baited breath!

This!

FlipFlopShopInHawaii · 19/08/2022 17:39

Tesco will be out of steak so they'll arrive back with a cheap ready made lasagne and a six pack of Dutch gold

MissFancyDay · 19/08/2022 17:40

They've been too long, something's up

InTheFridge · 19/08/2022 17:40

So invested in this.

Bet they come back with mince or something else cheap.

Roussette · 19/08/2022 17:41

OP might be unpacking their shopping now!

She can't say hang on a minute, I've got to let someone know what you've bought!

WhenDovesFly · 19/08/2022 17:41

They're probably driving round wondering how they can get out of this without too much damage. No doubt muttering "those pesky kids" like the best Scooby Doo villains.

Hop27 · 19/08/2022 17:41

It's 2:40am with me .. I'm way too invested in this 🤣

WiddlinDiddlin · 19/08/2022 17:41

Im wondering if they'll bring back something complicated and lengthy to cook, like a roast and all the bits and bobs, expecting OP to cook it for them.

OP - COOK NOTHING!!!!

MeriPenomause · 19/08/2022 17:41

Oooooo. I always miss these when they are 'live' I have it all crossed but I'm not sure which way I want it to go! 😂

MzHz · 19/08/2022 17:42

I don’t think they have gone shopping - they’re over 90mins already

sad to say, this is going to end badly

LivingByTheSeaSoon · 19/08/2022 17:43

The OP is currently assaulting them with an Asda smartprice garlic baguette

unname · 19/08/2022 17:43

Iknowforsure1 · 19/08/2022 17:27

All the country is waiting for your guests to come back home from shopping 😂

and me in US. 🕧

Starlight9876 · 19/08/2022 17:43

Hope OP has a spare dinner on standby just in case this goes pear shaped 😂

creamwitheverything · 19/08/2022 17:44

After the way they have ignored you and treated you so badly when you opened your home to them well they deserve nothing, So sorry this is happening OP you don;t need this crap. They sound bloody awful

Lmf685 · 19/08/2022 17:45

The suspense is killing me !!!! If they ask for money for it all I would tell them to put it were the sun dont shine and ask them to leave. Its the least they can do on their last night ... hint hint leave tomorrow !

If they have gone to the pub alone then I would crack and tell them to leave.

notanothertakeaway · 19/08/2022 17:45

Maybe the CF friends use MN and are currently in Tesco's car park, reading this thread

billy1966 · 19/08/2022 17:45

Remember that you really don't want to have any further contact with these people and so should treat them accordingly.

Your DP must be mortified.

Decent people who care about you wouldn't dream of treating your partner like this.

They think you both are absolute mugs and have treated you thus.

People like that never so much as get caught for a cup of tea by someone, so hard are their boundaries.

They could well come back with a cheap chicken and salad, such is their disrespect and disregard for you both.

Remember that, their behaviour is bedded in disrespect.
Your opinion of them simply doesn't register.

When you realise that with CF's it's very freeing, and it makes it so much easier for a decent person to be absolutely ruthless in return.😁

kidsatuniemptynester · 19/08/2022 17:46

I am starving, but drinking wine......need to know!

Mummyoflittledragon · 19/08/2022 17:46

That was excellent work. Either way, you’re on the home straight and they will be gone soon.

Itsanewme · 19/08/2022 17:47

I agree with everyone above.
When they come back.
Just tell them they're leaving tom.
You forgot to mention your mother / dps mother or anyone else you can think of is coming to stay.
That way they have to leave as you will have no room for them.

Lmf685 · 19/08/2022 17:47

kidsatuniemptynester · 19/08/2022 17:46

I am starving, but drinking wine......need to know!

I want wine now ... and steak haha

Blossom45 · 19/08/2022 17:47

F

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