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CF have come to stay, how to handle it

1000 replies

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 14:42

Have name changed as this will be very outing.

DP asked if some relatives could come and stay for a few days. These are actually relatives of his ex wife, not blood relatives to him, but he knew them a good few years ago. We live in a holiday type area and have the room.

I didn't know much about them except they were late thirties/early forties, apparently lovely. And have had a hard couple of years as their 9yo dd has been quite ill, but is now in recovery and things are looking good.
So of course I said yes. Sounds like they have had a crap time and needed a bit of a break from it all. Said they were coming just the 2 of them, not bringing their dd.

They arrived 4 days ago. Haven't yet said when they are leaving.

The issue is they are incredibly entitled and I really really am beginning to not like them. They arrived with nothing - not a bottle of wine or a bunch of flowers. not that I expect anything but its etiquette surely to arrive with a gesture when you're staying in someones house for free. But that in itself wasn't an issue, just a little surprising.
They were all smiles and hugging DP, saying hi and basically ignored me for a good 10 minutes, just a little hello after that. No word of thanks for saying we could come or anything at this point either.
They haven't offered to buy any food. Me and DP are cooking for them. Haven't bought any drink, though they've been getting through ours very well.
Initially I thought maybe they are skint. Also on my mind was it must be awful having an ill child and they are perhaps still a bit stressed on this.

A few days in, it transpires that during the last 8 months they have been abroad on holiday twice (just them, not their dd), and a week away with their dd. So not short of holidays or 'breaks from it all'. Plus they are thinking of having their kitchen remodelled.
Still not massively friendly with me. But over the top with DP. Still no word of thanks for anything, not even after cooking a meal.
The wife also put baby wipes down the toilet when i'd specifcally said nothing in the toilet please as its a septic tank and anything other than normal toilet roll blocks it (only mentioend because we've learnt that every time after guests the thing blocks because they put sanitary towels, toilet wipes and god knows what down it, and it costs us to get it unblocked). Her reason was, she always uses babywipes on her face. Well ok, put them in the damn bin then.

Last night was almost my final straw. We went out to dinner. Their suggestion. I had a slightly more expensive starter than the rest of them (but wasn't drinking, so that should surely even out). By more expensive it was about £5 more.
When bill comes, DP said lets split down the middle (actually fully thinking they would say their treat for their stay so far) and they fussed about me having the more expensive starter but grudgingly agreed even though I hadn't had alcohol and both of them had.

I mean, seriously. £5 more, and we've fed them for 4 days, they've drank copious bottles of wine and beer while they've done sod all to help out - no offer to clear up or anything, or help fetch food or drink in. Literally nothing.

If they are so seriously short of money, then don't drive a 4 hour journey and invite yourself to someones house and freeload. Although a kitchen remodel isn't cheap.

I want them to leave. DP is also getting really pissed off with them. They clearly didn't need the break after their shit couple of years because they've been abroad more in last 8 months than we have in 4 years. Plus we are far from rich, we are literally scraping by most of the time. Feel like we've totally been taken advantage of.

I want to find out when they are leaving and I need to try and tell them in the nicest possible way to hurry up and bugger off.
So any ways I can word this, without looking like a total bitch?

OP posts:
Roussette · 19/08/2022 17:01

Please don't say you'll pay them later. This will open up a can of worms for the future. They can then bad mouth you both to everyone for not paying them money you agreed to.
You have to battle it straight on...
"I won't be paying that"
End of.

FlissyPaps · 19/08/2022 17:02

Also what’s weird about them not having a planned end date is the fact how the hell will their DD know when she’s going to see them again. Poor kid.

Rooting for you OP! Hope the dinner is nice and they get the hell out of your house soon.

Jackiebrambles · 19/08/2022 17:02

This thread is fantastic thank you op, hurry up at the shops cf-ers!

MzHz · 19/08/2022 17:02

Whatever happens play thick and be vocal about how nice a last dinner it is and what time they’ll be leaving and if they say anything so, “oh well I’m afraid you will have to go tomorrow because it’s been long enough and we want to enjoy our weekend”

fuck them if they’re offended. LET them be offended.

btw, has your oh spoken to his ex about them? Has she seen this level of CF-ery before from then?

LivingByTheSeaSoon · 19/08/2022 17:03

I am SO invested in this!! 👀👀👀

woodhill · 19/08/2022 17:03

Also if they start about the money I'd mention the baby wipe incident and how much this will cost you.

How awful of the woman to do this when you asked her not to and the environmental impact as well

Onandupw · 19/08/2022 17:04

STAND FIRM OP

hotelp · 19/08/2022 17:05

Weeks of nothingness on mumsnet are worth it for the occasional jewel like this 💎

Onandupw · 19/08/2022 17:05

If they ask about money say oh yes, I’m glad that you brought that up. So if your contribution was £x for dinner tonight we can take that off the £x for all the other dinners over the last night. So in total you owe us £x.

unicormb · 19/08/2022 17:06

Shamelessly placemarking

Lysianthus · 19/08/2022 17:06

Have read the whole thread, and just picked my jaw off the floor.
OP please get your DP to read it in full so he is in no doubt about what is expected of him, united front and all that jazz.
Can't wait for the next instalment. Wineat the ready.

REP22 · 19/08/2022 17:07

A top CF thread is extra-good when food is involved. Does anyone remember the CF locked-gate one with the Army of Teds and the board games with the ex-Footballer? The roast dinners involved in that one were epic...

But in all seriousness; I'm sorry you were saddled with these numpties OP, I'm sure you could really have done without the hassle. Hope they're soon gone with minimal hassle. x

VerifiedBot2351 · 19/08/2022 17:07

There is a good chance they will have eaten while they were out. Then they’ll come back and pack and leave tonight.

Heronwatcher · 19/08/2022 17:08

How about presenting them with an itemised bill for each day of the stay so far (board, breakfast etc). Make sure you make it very clear that it’s per day- they will soon bugger off. If you’re feeling especially magnanimous make sure you mention that you’ve not charged them for evening meals on account of them buying the steak dinner. Include bank details and present it with a smile, say how lovely it has been to see them and that they’re welcome back any time at the same rate.

Rubytoos · 19/08/2022 17:09

If they do actually ask for money for the steaks, tell them you’ll knock it off their bill. Say , oo let’s see, 5 nights full board at £100 a night, hope you’ve just been paid! Whilst laughing, but not really laughing.

Bananarama21 · 19/08/2022 17:09

Can't believe the nerve of them.

hellcatspangle · 19/08/2022 17:09

I might also be so bold as to ask them to go to the shops for dinner supplies and alcohol as both me and DP are working. And not offer any money for it.

Please do this.

SeriouslyLosingTheWill · 19/08/2022 17:11

DP had arrived back, I'm going to fill him in before they get back about getting them to leave and we are not paying for this food if they ask.

OP posts:
Lottapianos · 19/08/2022 17:12

Oh yes, make sure he's standing firm too!

Roussette · 19/08/2022 17:12

hellcatspangle · 19/08/2022 17:09

I might also be so bold as to ask them to go to the shops for dinner supplies and alcohol as both me and DP are working. And not offer any money for it.

Please do this.

🤣😂🤣😂

Oh dear! This is known as shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted!

Parpophone · 19/08/2022 17:12

hellcatspangle · 19/08/2022 17:09

I might also be so bold as to ask them to go to the shops for dinner supplies and alcohol as both me and DP are working. And not offer any money for it.

Please do this.

She has. They are at the shops now.

Keep up!

blackpearwhitelilies · 19/08/2022 17:13

Good luck, OP. They've behaved appallingly. I too am marking my place to see what happens . . .

supadupapupascupa · 19/08/2022 17:13

I wonder if all the steaks are sold out and they come back with chicken?

UniversalAunt · 19/08/2022 17:13

…& another text asking them to get some Brasso.

VerifiedBot2351 · 19/08/2022 17:15

Is DP singing from the same hymn sheet?

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