Page 8 | To think we don't need a formula feeding month

LilacSky95 · 2022-08-19T08:22:01+00:00

I have seen a couple of mum 'influencers' on Instagram writing posts about how it's not fair we have breastfeeding month when so many mums can't/didn't breastfeed, and we should start a formula feeding month too. AIBU to think this is totally unnecessary? Disclaimer - Not looking to start a breast v bottle debate

Bunnyfuller · 19/08/2022 20:07

Does it matter?.

speaking as someone who wouldn’t have kids if ff didn’t exist, why the fuck not? Tired of being made to feel second class because I couldn’t b/f, babies too small to piss around for weeks trying to make it happen. Why not celebrate the alternative?

Parker231 · 19/08/2022 20:12

I don’t see why you need a bf or ff month - just leave families to make their own decisions. I had no intention or interest in bf - was more than happy to use formula from day one. No guilt. Mn is the worst for creating guilt - am very glad it wasn’t around when DC’s were born.

DocsandSocks · 19/08/2022 20:12

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 19/08/2022 20:02

None of that requires an awareness month, just a MHS leaflet which I’m sure women get in pregnancy. Also all this information is entirely objective, and applies to every single baby on formula, and in the age of Google shouldn’t be hard to find. Whereas BF is practical, and the experience and issues will be different for every woman, MUCH more support is needed.

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Actually, much more support is needed for both. I couldn't breastfeed (inverted nipple meant that baby could not and would not attach) and the help I had from the midwife was nothing short of shocking. I was always of the view that I would try breastfeeding but as soon as it became hard/stressful, then it would be straight onto FF and that's exactly what I did.

However, I knew nothing about FF. The post I have quoted is precisely the questions that I had. Luckily, I had my Mum and MIL who provided answers that were not on the tin or a leaflet which you are sure women get in pregnancy (I didn't).

DocsandSocks · 19/08/2022 20:13

Bunnyfuller · 19/08/2022 20:07

Does it matter?.

speaking as someone who wouldn’t have kids if ff didn’t exist, why the fuck not? Tired of being made to feel second class because I couldn’t b/f, babies too small to piss around for weeks trying to make it happen. Why not celebrate the alternative?

@Bunnyfuller 100% this!

DobbyHasASock · 19/08/2022 20:13

Feel likeits a bit county fuckerish to be going on about how easy formula feeding is when some babies on formula will have disabilities or be tube fed.
Fuck that ablest nonsense. How lovely your healthy baby was able to earth mama feed. Those whose babies lives were saved by formula don't appreciate your tone.

Skittlesthough · 19/08/2022 20:20

"Second class" is a little dramatic, your not segregated or stripped of your right to vote ffs... doubt you've ever even been asked to cover your baby's head while feeding or had friends/family sugest you go home/into a separate room/ or sit on the public toilet to feed your baby 🙄or had it suggested by well meaning staff that you might be "more comfortable" in the parent & baby room that smells like dirty Nappies....FF mums have never been secluded or hidden away

UndertheCedartree · 19/08/2022 20:21

Maybe we need a 'stop shaming women' month?

It seems that many FF mothers have been made to feel shame. As a BF mother I was also made to feel shame. Even more so as my babies got older.

Also it seems that both FF and BFing mothers don't feel they get the support they need after birth. My experience was that it was all 'breast is best' before birth but once my baby was born there was pressure to bottle feed. I was told my baby wasn't feeding for long enough and he needed bottles a few days after birth. He hadn't even be weighed at this point. When he was weighed he hadn't even lost weight as most babies do after birth but had gained! If I hadn't been so set on BFing I may well have caved.and given formula unnecessarily.

I struggled with breastfeeding at times - found it painful and hard to get baby to latch on with my first and went through bouts of mastitis and the pain of thrush on my nipples. And I'm proud that I got through all that and did something that was beneficial for my DC. So many people think you must have had it easy if you breast fed. I'm happy about my DC not having ever had ear infections and not needing braces which may have been helped by breastfeeding. But talking about those things is almost taboo because you don't want another mum to feel bad. But we all do various different things to try to benefit our DC and I think it's ok to feel proud of our struggles to benefit our DC. I guess what I'm saying is it is a shame baby feeding is divisive. As it's really just another way for the patriarchy to keep women down.

DocsandSocks · 19/08/2022 20:24

Skittlesthough · 19/08/2022 20:20

"Second class" is a little dramatic, your not segregated or stripped of your right to vote ffs... doubt you've ever even been asked to cover your baby's head while feeding or had friends/family sugest you go home/into a separate room/ or sit on the public toilet to feed your baby 🙄or had it suggested by well meaning staff that you might be "more comfortable" in the parent & baby room that smells like dirty Nappies....FF mums have never been secluded or hidden away

'Second Class' isn't being dramatic - it's reality for many FF mothers. All through pregnancy, it's heavily put on mothers to be that 'Breast is Best' with no talk whatsoever about formula feeding. You ask for help, you're given no help but many talks on BF and how it's 'best for the baby'.

Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 19/08/2022 20:25

Depends on if a month is needed to raise awareness of a particular issue or if it is just being done because breast feeding has a month (I’m assuming from the op).

Original poster

LilacSky95 · 19/08/2022 20:25

Second class" is a little dramatic, your not segregated or stripped of your right to vote ffs... doubt you've ever even been asked to cover your baby's head while feeding or had friends/family sugest you go home/into a separate room/ or sit on the public toilet to feed your baby 🙄or had it suggested by well meaning staff that you might be "more comfortable" in the parent & baby room that smells like dirty Nappies....FF mums have never been secluded or hidden away

amen to that

OP posts:

Navigatingnewwaters · 19/08/2022 20:27

No we don’t need a formula feeding month, yes breastfeeding is better, no formula isn’t poison and we are lucky to have a decent alternative but it doesn’t need a month of promotion, it should be there for those who can’t breastfeed and there shouldn’t be a stigma surrounding that but it is a product and a month celebrating it is simply product placement

DreamToNightmare · 19/08/2022 20:30

Formula feeding is not allowed to be advertised or promoted so I’m not sure how a Formula Feeding month would work….

Navigatingnewwaters · 19/08/2022 20:30

DocsandSocks · 19/08/2022 20:24

'Second Class' isn't being dramatic - it's reality for many FF mothers. All through pregnancy, it's heavily put on mothers to be that 'Breast is Best' with no talk whatsoever about formula feeding. You ask for help, you're given no help but many talks on BF and how it's 'best for the baby'.

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What help do you feel is necessary?

Bejeweled · 19/08/2022 20:32

Skittlesthough · 19/08/2022 20:20

"Second class" is a little dramatic, your not segregated or stripped of your right to vote ffs... doubt you've ever even been asked to cover your baby's head while feeding or had friends/family sugest you go home/into a separate room/ or sit on the public toilet to feed your baby 🙄or had it suggested by well meaning staff that you might be "more comfortable" in the parent & baby room that smells like dirty Nappies....FF mums have never been secluded or hidden away

I'm sure FF mums do face twattish comments but after doing both, this has been my experience.

Being asked to go upstairs in the presence of male relatives, and being accused of neglect for undernourishment (genuine nonsense to put me off doing it) stand out. Nobody ever commented when I FF.

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 19/08/2022 20:33

DocsandSocks · 19/08/2022 20:12

Actually, much more support is needed for both. I couldn't breastfeed (inverted nipple meant that baby could not and would not attach) and the help I had from the midwife was nothing short of shocking. I was always of the view that I would try breastfeeding but as soon as it became hard/stressful, then it would be straight onto FF and that's exactly what I did.

However, I knew nothing about FF. The post I have quoted is precisely the questions that I had. Luckily, I had my Mum and MIL who provided answers that were not on the tin or a leaflet which you are sure women get in pregnancy (I didn't).

Show quote history

It all you needed to do was Google those questions and the information is there.

Whereas inverted nipple (been there!) is much trickier and needs a person who actually knows what they’re doing to sit with you to get it right.

One I can do on my phone and the other I can’t.

Its not a competition of course but I don’t think we should ever try and claim that both are exactly as hard as the other to establish.

I also think that people assume others need support to FF because they dont use cooled boiled water sometimes, for example, when making a feed. when in fact people know exactly how they’re supposed to formula feed but are happy to take short cuts, so to speak, because the risk of harm coming to a baby of you add cold water to formula and heat it up is still pretty low.

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 19/08/2022 20:34

Lol at FFsrs being second class!

Laws werent brought in to protect FFers because they were being discriminated against.

hewouldwouldnthe · 19/08/2022 20:35

Course it's unnecessary. Formula feeding is simple and needs no support. Open a bottle and feed. End off. Influencers are another name for pointless individuals

workiskillingme · 19/08/2022 20:35

My birthday is international creme brûlée day.
Yes there is an I'm living for it

Hoowhoowho · 19/08/2022 20:35

I actually could see the use of a government sponsored formula feeding month.
clear unambiguous information
eg

all first stage formula is fine for one year

Perfect prep machine- yes or no

do formula fed babies need water?

it would be a space for evidence based information on infant feeding which is actually sorely lacking.
Could make it Baby feeding month and do the same for starting solids. A regular dose of updated evidence based information would be beneficial for everyone.

DocsandSocks · 19/08/2022 20:36

Navigatingnewwaters · 19/08/2022 20:30

What help do you feel is necessary?

Show quote history

@Navigatingnewwaters I had many questions that the midwife simply would not answer.

What bottles to use? What teats to use? How to store the bottles? How to clean and sterilise them properly? How to FF when travelling around?

They are just some of the very basic ones. Thankfully, my Mum and MIL were on hand to help. However, some women don't have that luxury.

MrsSkylerWhite · 19/08/2022 20:38

ProbablyPossiblyPerhaps · Today 10:54
MsPincher I object to MrsSkylerWhite 's argument that posters are not entitled to an opinion unless they are negatively effected. That is a really dangerous argument to bow down to no matter what the topic is.@LilacSky95”

I object to you having an opinion about how other mother’s feed their babies. It’s none of your business.
The whatever the subject is argument is BS. How an individual feeds their child has no impact on you whatsoever.
I bf, if it’s at all relevant. It probably isn’t.

Wouldloveanother · 19/08/2022 20:38

bakewellbride · 19/08/2022 09:37

I'm against the idea of a 'formula feeding month'. Formula feeding is something that's absolutely everywhere in our society already. The majority of mums in this country do it, it's advertised everywhere and it's in every shop.

I'm breastfeeding and have only ever breastfed but have experienced a lot of pressure throughout my journey to bottle feed from many different angles. Formula feeding month really would be the icing on the cake.

where is it advertised, given it’s illegal to do so? 🤔

Navigatingnewwaters · 19/08/2022 20:40

DocsandSocks · 19/08/2022 20:36

@Navigatingnewwaters I had many questions that the midwife simply would not answer.

What bottles to use? What teats to use? How to store the bottles? How to clean and sterilise them properly? How to FF when travelling around?

They are just some of the very basic ones. Thankfully, my Mum and MIL were on hand to help. However, some women don't have that luxury.

Show quote history

Google would have cleared it up easily, midwives aren’t allowed to be seen to promote/help with formula feeding, if it helps I got jack shit help from them with breastfeeding either

Wouldloveanother · 19/08/2022 20:42

wedonttalkaboutyouno · 19/08/2022 09:45

In the last infant feeding survey in 2010, 12%(!!!!!) of babies were exclusively breastfed at 4 months. I imagine there will be a few anomalies where babies are incorrectly given cows milk (or early weaned), but this means a huge amount of babies are having formula. Given that the main beneficiaries of a formula feeding month will be the formula companies, it seems an absolutely absurd idea.

Not really true.

Just one sip of formula (often given in the first day or two to help clear jaundice before milk comes in) means a baby doesn’t count as ‘EBF’. One poster on here said her baby had one bottle of formula in the hospital then was EBF for 3 years, and even she wouldn’t count as far as the statistics are concerned.

if you’re counting babies that are still being breastfed at certain ages but have had formula at some point, or mix fed, the statistics are a lot better:

The rate of any breastfeeding at six weeks was 55% (rising from 48% in 2005), while at six months it was 34% (rising from 25% in 2005). These improvements coincided with a marked increase in engagement with the Baby Friendly Initiative.

DocsandSocks · 19/08/2022 20:42

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 19/08/2022 20:33

It all you needed to do was Google those questions and the information is there.

Whereas inverted nipple (been there!) is much trickier and needs a person who actually knows what they’re doing to sit with you to get it right.

One I can do on my phone and the other I can’t.

Its not a competition of course but I don’t think we should ever try and claim that both are exactly as hard as the other to establish.

I also think that people assume others need support to FF because they dont use cooled boiled water sometimes, for example, when making a feed. when in fact people know exactly how they’re supposed to formula feed but are happy to take short cuts, so to speak, because the risk of harm coming to a baby of you add cold water to formula and heat it up is still pretty low.

Show quote history

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet If that's the case, all the techniques, positions etc that are relevant to BFing are all on Google too, handed out in leaflets throughout pregnancy etc so why do we need a BF week? Going by your way of thinking, all of that is quickly done through Google?

It is a competition. Many FF mothers feel that BFing is the only way to go as that is what they've had drummed into them. Many FFing mothers feel that they are failing because again, BFing is drummed into them as 'being the best'. I'm not saying BFing mothers don't have struggles, they do - but please don't dismiss the struggles that FFing mothers have too.