Page 5 | I really liked my neighbour until she said this

Rewis · 19/08/2022 06:40

But there are the right ans wrong kinds of immigrants. Usually if people (not exclusively British thing) talk to an immigrant about other immigrants then you're the right kind.

sorrynotathome · 19/08/2022 06:40

There are some bizarrely ignorant views here. Population doesn’t remain static where you have wealth and modern medicine, as people live far longer than they did when NHS was formed in 1948. UK population isn’t growing any faster than the rest of the world. Our services are funded through taxes and immigrants pay taxes just as much as anyone else. If you insist on reducing taxes and cutting services then of course they become stretched & that’s not the fault of immigrants.

Roselilly36 · 19/08/2022 06:43

I have a friend of about 26yrs, we are really good friends but we have opposite opinions on quite a few matters, we respect one another, never try to push our opinions.

I think the main concern regarding the channel immigration is that they are mainly young single men, with no history/background checks. If they were families fleeing unsafe countries, people would see it very differently.

maisieandvicks · 19/08/2022 06:44

YANBU. People that make remarks like this have no depth to them as a person. Nothing going on in there.

I assume you came to this country to make a better life for yourself. You’ve done exactly that. You should be proud of yourself. I certainly am and I don’t even know you.

Give this neighbour a wide berth from now on. They sound uneducated, bitter and completely unaware that it is now 2022. Who the hell cares about how it used to be? People who are living in the past, that’s who.

So leave this person to wallow in their own misery and get on with your life.

Aiionwatha · 19/08/2022 06:47

Strange. I didn't think it was that controversial to say that immigration should be regulated to ensure there are enough resources for the existing population. That's just common sense. This country is very densely populated and the NHS is clearly working beyond its capacity without the current influx of illegal immigrants. Is this really so controversial?
Also, the issue she was referring to of ablebodied men paying thousands of pounds to people traffickers, in order to leave perfectly safe European countries to come to the UK illegally, is a very particular problem, so why are you putting yourself in the same box? She's not talking about genuine asylum seekers and people who came through the established system. There really is no comparison in my view. My husband is an immigrant, came to the UK escaping poverty, but he came here lawfully ny first finding an employer to sponsor him for a viss. There is absolutely no comparison.

DangerouslyBored · 19/08/2022 06:51

Ugh. Keep your distance. People that make comments like that are thick and ignorant. I love to tell them my mother was an immigrant. Wonderful to see them squirm 😀

Aiionwatha · 19/08/2022 06:52

loislovesstewie · 19/08/2022 05:13

My current GP is Italian, the ones before that was Dutch, before that Polish, before that Dutch, before that British, before that Italian, before that Indian . Perhaps she needs to consider that the HNS is run by immigrants who actually look after us. Oh, and my dentist was Polish too.

Oh for goodness sake. She wasn't talking about foreigners in general, rather young single men leaving safe countries to come here illegally. People are so quick to cry racist as as you have any kind of nuanced view on immigration policy.

SherbetDips · 19/08/2022 06:54

She’s right imo…

Aiionwatha · 19/08/2022 06:55

(speaking as the granddaughter of immigrants from the Caribbean by the way. My grandparents came here legally, following the war, to help rebuild the country. They would have been dead against people paying traffickers to come over in dinghies)

Aiionwatha · 19/08/2022 06:55

Aiionwatha · 19/08/2022 06:52

Oh for goodness sake. She wasn't talking about foreigners in general, rather young single men leaving safe countries to come here illegally. People are so quick to cry racist as as you have any kind of nuanced view on immigration policy.

Show quote history

As soon as*

Usernum6737283 · 19/08/2022 06:56

I think it's clear you won't be friends now. Stay polite but just give her a wide berth. Were you not tempted to put her in her place?

My mother had and still has this attitude but she's friends with a few people who weren't born here, by they are okay as they are 'her friends' but she probably hides her attitude from them! apparently it's all the 'foreigners' fault why she can't get a hospital app she's waiting for 🙄

DangerouslyBored · 19/08/2022 06:57

Carpy88999 · 19/08/2022 05:55

It's possible to be friend with people who hold opposing views to your own despite what mumsnet may tell you.

Opposing views are one thing but when you have opposing values, there really isn’t any common ground 🤷🏻‍♀️

Aiionwatha · 19/08/2022 06:59

DangerouslyBored · 19/08/2022 06:57

Opposing views are one thing but when you have opposing values, there really isn’t any common ground 🤷🏻‍♀️

Show quote history

Rubbish

ClumpingBambooIsALie · 19/08/2022 07:01

Usernum6737283 · 19/08/2022 06:56

I think it's clear you won't be friends now. Stay polite but just give her a wide berth. Were you not tempted to put her in her place?

My mother had and still has this attitude but she's friends with a few people who weren't born here, by they are okay as they are 'her friends' but she probably hides her attitude from them! apparently it's all the 'foreigners' fault why she can't get a hospital app she's waiting for 🙄

Can you see why it would be convenient for Tories certain individuals and groups if they could gradually plant the right seeds in your mum's mind, to make sure she blames someone other than those who are actually responsible for making sure everyone has the hospital appointments they need? It's not necessarily people's fault if they absorb the messaging.

DangerouslyBored · 19/08/2022 07:05

Ravenpuff93 · 19/08/2022 00:28

“Sorry OP but I’m also xenophobic”

Show quote history

🙌🏼

DangerouslyBored · 19/08/2022 07:09

Aiionwatha · 19/08/2022 06:52

Oh for goodness sake. She wasn't talking about foreigners in general, rather young single men leaving safe countries to come here illegally. People are so quick to cry racist as as you have any kind of nuanced view on immigration policy.

Show quote history

Oh do stop cherrypicking and read the OP properly before commenting. The OP clearly states the neighbour said, “She then went on to say that it's because of all the immigrants that have come into this country”

🙄

loislovesstewie · 19/08/2022 07:17

BTW, 'illegals' are unlikely to be able to access services because they are 'illegal'. If a person arrives in the country and claims asylum and are awarded refugee status no matter how they arrived, then they are not illegals. A person who arrives and never claims asylum but works cash in hand in places like nail bars, your local kebab shop etc or who are brought in to work at illegal activities, will not be 'legal' , will not have the correct paperwork to be able to access public services. A visa saying 'no recourse to public funds ' means just that, although some medical treatment is permitted. It's actually quite a rubbish life, but in all honestly they are probably not the ones who are creating issues in respect of a lack of services.

Britjtx · 19/08/2022 07:22

My DF had surgery for cancer about 5 years ago. He remarked at the time that the only British person working there who he had spoken to in his 3 days in hospital was his surgeon. Nurses, healthcare assistants, porters - none of them British.

Yes, infrastructure and such like needs to be considered - there is absolutely no denying that. But I’d have been pissed off with that comment too. Many immigrants bring more value than people born and bred here. As another person has stated, how lucky we are to have been born here.

My DM is an immigrant - non-white but British citizen for over 40 years. Her next door neighbour used to tell her to go back to her own country but my DM would still help her with her shopping and gardening. And I’m pretty sure my DM is a far happier person than her neighbour was. I wouldn’t bother engaging with your neighbour OP. Let her stew in her own misery and just crack on with your life.

Fleetheart · 19/08/2022 07:30

some very ignorant people talking on here. Yes the NHS is overstretched. And the schools also. nothing to do with immigration; all to do with the choices made by our government about where to spend OUR money. Yes of course we should control immigration- or at least understand it; if we don’t how can we make the right provision for schools , hospitals all kinds of services. But this government is failing on every count; they are looking after only themselves (with our money), and it’s very convenient for them to have people believe it’s because we are overcrowded.

ArtOfTheImpossible · 19/08/2022 07:30

DysonSphere · 19/08/2022 05:29

I personally wouldn't take offence. I'm black and some people, especially the older generation aren't PC, they will still refer to brown people as coloured etc. I try to seek things I have in common and have a fairly robust threshold for offence and writing people off. It has always paid off.

I also think that just because someone voted Brexit doesn't automatically make them a racist🙄 I think that's equally as lazy as someone blaming immigrants for everything and I thought we'd got past that nonsense and acknowledged that there were a lot of factors that influenced peoples' vote. Actually calling people racist for raising issues about immigration leads to people listening to people with more extreme viewpoints.

I do think there needs to be an acknowledgement of how immigration legal or otherwise, has rapidly changed some areas, not all positive and for white indigenous people born here decades ago, the areas they grew up in might feel taken over and alien to them.

I was born and grew up in SE London the child of second wave Windrush and one day an elderly lady I used to check in on was saying she felt the local high street had changed out of all recognition. The traditional small independent grocers, stalls and specialists shops (think things like pollards) had gone, replaced with sellers of exotic foods, cosmetics, cafes etc owned by non-british people some of whom don't speak English much or only employ family members as staff and don't mix with the community or attend the local pub etc.

I was quite young at the time and thought 'how ignorant' But after a few years I thought: She's right. That's how it is from her perspective. Who am I to say otherwise? I can see myself how it has changed from Frank and Barbara running the local corner shop and post office, who you would chat and have a natter with to being replaced with a family from abroad who maybe you don't have much in common with and don't talk to English to you beyond necessity and speak in their own language around you.

Then there's schools. Is it necessarily beneficial for schools with children representing 20 different languages or more to be using/receiving extra resources to help them catch up? I'm focusing on the word beneficial, because again for some people, they may think well, everyone else is getting the help, but not the poor white school children in some deprived part of the country away from the major cities.

The NHS: There is a massive shortage of training GPs and other allied health professions. It's all good foreign doctors being fast tracked or granted visas to work within the NHS, but why has the government withdrawn or reduced bursaries over the years for university health courses to the indigenous population whilst placing emphasis on immigrants holding the NHS together? And how many white English GP's are there for a white person to go to without waiting for ages? That sounds ignorant - why do you care as long as they're qualified? - but I try to put myself in their shoes. There have been times that I as a woc have desperately wanted a black doctor because they will understand things culturally that my white doctor as competent as they are, won't quite understand in the same way, and I don't see why it's different for a White person either.

When people expressing concerns (however ignorantly) like your neighbor are not listened to and just written off with a slogan of DailyFail Reader, Brexiter, racist, and not engaged with, then they are sitting ducks for the far right who do listen and give them all the time they want.

We need to have a balanced conversation around immigration. It may be a net good, but it does have impacts that may not be wholly positive that need to be acknowledged if we are to have cohesion as a nation. We may not like those views, but you can't just dismiss them.

Intelligent response

TurkishDelightForTheLittlePrince · 19/08/2022 07:35

YANBU. She’s a bigoted twat who’s thick enough to swallow what she’s been told by other bigots and far right media. I’d give her a swerve and I’m not an immigrant, I just don’t have any patience for people like that.

loislovesstewie · 19/08/2022 07:40

@DysonSphere I agree with what you say, the other concern I have is that if we continue to take very qualified people from their country of origin to run public services here then what is happening to those countries? Are they also seeing a decline in their services? Is their infrastructure on the brink? I do get worried when the NHS, for example, actively recruit en masse in less developed countries for those reasons.

Wartywart · 19/08/2022 07:43

She's awful. Avoid her but smile if you have to. If faced with comments like that again, point out that due to Brexit, potential emigrants have now been essentially trapped here which is contributing to the problem she thinks there is. Young people have been put off going to work in Europe and older people put off retiring to Europe. Thank you Brexiteers.

ouch321 · 19/08/2022 07:46

What a silly post.

It's simple maths.

The more people there are for the same amount of services the tighter things are stretched.

Immigration has both advantages and disadvantages and to pretend it doesn't is just stupid.

Revolvingwhore · 19/08/2022 07:47

neighbourhoodwatch · 18/08/2022 23:00

I've recently moved to a new area and was talking to my neighbour, who I really like.

Somehow the conversation went to GPs and how you can never get appointments and basically have to beg to be seen nowadays.

She was saying how it didn't used for be that way... before...

She then went on to say that it's because of all the immigrants that have come into this country and how our country is too small to hold all these people.

She also talked about the illegals coming in on boats etc and how terrible it is.

I am immigrant. I didn't come on a boat and I have a good job etc. But essentially I came to this country. I've never claimed benefits or anything like that. I'm on a high salary etc and studied here etc etc. So, I'm well established. Essentially whenever people say stuff like that, alarm bells start ringing for me.

Am I seeing it too black and white ? It's just difficult when someone says stuff like this to someone who also came here..... as an immigrant...

Isn't it terrible when people have different opinions. Down with democracy!