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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I really liked my neighbour until she said this

577 replies

neighbourhoodwatch · 18/08/2022 23:00

I've recently moved to a new area and was talking to my neighbour, who I really like.

Somehow the conversation went to GPs and how you can never get appointments and basically have to beg to be seen nowadays.

She was saying how it didn't used for be that way... before...

She then went on to say that it's because of all the immigrants that have come into this country and how our country is too small to hold all these people.

She also talked about the illegals coming in on boats etc and how terrible it is.

I am immigrant. I didn't come on a boat and I have a good job etc. But essentially I came to this country. I've never claimed benefits or anything like that. I'm on a high salary etc and studied here etc etc. So, I'm well established. Essentially whenever people say stuff like that, alarm bells start ringing for me.

Am I seeing it too black and white ? It's just difficult when someone says stuff like this to someone who also came here..... as an immigrant...

OP posts:
djdkdkddkek · 22/08/2022 08:08

StressedOutMumBex · 22/08/2022 01:09

And yet you are quite happy to have those people, that are in those camps terrifying people, come to the UK without any questions asked ? Or do you just assume that those doing the ‘terrifying’ things are not also migrants

you’ve completely lost me? I think they should apply for asylum in France.

MangyInseam · 22/08/2022 08:13

neighbourhoodwatch · 19/08/2022 14:38

I said that I don't believe it does- that's my opinion. Just because you're born somewhere, does not give you any rights over that land. That's just how I feel about it. I think it's an outdated and dangerous concept that we think we have more rights over a certain area than others. That's where it a lot of problems stem from. I disagree with patriotism and nationalism of any form really. You're nothing special to have been born into a certain land or culture.

Othering people who are not from your land is completely wrong to me. You're nothing special because you were born some place, you chose nothing. Neither did I. You were just born where you were born. I was born where I was born.

You realize that this is a kind of imperialism, if you take it to it's logical conclusion?

The end result is that the people who live in a place become relatively disempowered, in terms of voting, shaping their communities, and so on.

You, because of your experience of being rootless, may not value stable communities, close connection with neighbours and family, of living in the same community as your parents or indeed your ancestors, of a strong sense of place. Or a strong cultural environment. But other people do value those things and are entitled to that way of life.

It's really interesting that people who speak this way would typically never do so if they were talking about gentrifying some kind of community they have perceived as marginalized. They would not think, gee, these Amazonians have lived here for generations in a particular way of life, but I think I and others like me should be able to come in and change the nature of their culture, use the local resources, shape the economy and public life.

MangyInseam · 22/08/2022 08:25

BirmaBrite · 19/08/2022 22:42

@excitingusername the population of the uk over 50 years ago when I was born was just shy of 56 million, it has gone up over those 50 years to 67.44 million , so over the course of 50 years it has increased by just over 10 million. It jumped from just shy of 50 million in 1948, to just shy of 56 million in under 25 years, but that was obviously the right sort of population increase ?

As for uncontrolled immigration, the vast majority of immigration to the UK is controlled. Net migration to England and Wales averaged 200,000 per year between the 2011 and 2021 Censuses, including British citizens. People come and go all the time, some come to study, some to work and some to live, not everyone who arrives, stays indefinitely.

Governments know how many people are coming and going, they could ensure the funding is there to provide adequate infrastructure for everyone, they are ultimately responsible for doing so. Heaven forbid anyone should hold those responsible to account ?

Something worth realizing is that this is not a historical norm.

Apart from things like mass invasions of the Saxons, to a large extent net immigration until the second half of the 20th century was very low. It's not an historic norm at all.

And where we do see these mass movements historically, whether it is due to land pressures or war or whatever, they have been seriously destabilizing. Whether in the UK or elsewhere. The UK has been very able over the centuries to integrate these people, ultimately, into a kind of unity, and that is in part perhaps why they are relatively open to immigrant communities now, as opposed to countries like Japan. The British tend to have a confidence that they can absorb new people and their culture while retaining their own culture and connection to place.

But it's a mistake to think that mass immigration was not without serious effects on the population when it did occur, or that it happened year on year without let up.

Anonykunt · 22/08/2022 08:56

Immigration does benefit the country when educated people like the OP come here to work. I know a few. However I also know far more immigrants who are very nice people but live in council houses.

Freedomfighters · 22/08/2022 09:14

Really good post MangyInseam. It's exactly this.

Casperroonie · 22/08/2022 09:17

She's a racist, simple as that. I would stay away.

Freedomfighters · 22/08/2022 09:19

Casperroonie, Why does noticing the impact of mass immigration make her a racist? Did you put any thought into to what you were going to write before posting?

Anonykunt · 22/08/2022 09:26

@Freedomfighters of course she/he didn't. They only parrot what they've been told to.

Anonykunt · 22/08/2022 09:28

The British tend to have a confidence that they can absorb new people and their culture while retaining their own culture and connection to place.

Anyone can be British now apparently.

Freedomfighters · 22/08/2022 09:31

The accusation of racism provides a justification for what they're doing, and what other people are doing. Its hideous behaviour.

BirmaBrite · 22/08/2022 10:36

@MangyInseam I am still unsure what this 'mass' uncontrolled immigration is ?

Are we talking about the people arriving on inflateables from across the channel who claim asylum when they reach the UK ?
Are we talking about people who took advantage of freedom of movement prior to the referendum ?
Are we talking about people who have come here legally from various countries to study, work or join family ?
Are we talking about Afghans and Ukrainians ?

Which one of these constitutes mass immigration ? which constitutes the biggest figure in the overall immigration figures ?

StressedOutMumBex · 22/08/2022 10:49

djdkdkddkek · 22/08/2022 08:08

you’ve completely lost me? I think they should apply for asylum in France.

yes so do I , my response was directed at the poster before you who said that terrigying things go on in the camps in france inferring that the people in them were not sage there - sorry if that was not clear

StressedOutMumBex · 22/08/2022 10:53

StressedOutMumBex · 22/08/2022 10:49

yes so do I , my response was directed at the poster before you who said that terrigying things go on in the camps in france inferring that the people in them were not sage there - sorry if that was not clear

clearly i cant type today !

TanyaZing · 22/08/2022 11:21

People have been mass immigrating to and from this country since the middle ages. Well over a thousand years ago came the Romans, then the Saxons, Angles, Jutes, then came the Danes and Norsemen. If you have a problem with immigration in 2022, you're a bit late to the party.

BirmaBrite · 22/08/2022 11:35

@TanyaZing and what did the Romans ever do for us ! Wink

TanyaZing · 22/08/2022 11:38

BirmaBrite · 22/08/2022 11:35

@TanyaZing and what did the Romans ever do for us ! Wink

They spread their Roman seeds all over the place!

MangyInseam · 22/08/2022 11:42

BirmaBrite · 22/08/2022 10:36

@MangyInseam I am still unsure what this 'mass' uncontrolled immigration is ?

Are we talking about the people arriving on inflateables from across the channel who claim asylum when they reach the UK ?
Are we talking about people who took advantage of freedom of movement prior to the referendum ?
Are we talking about people who have come here legally from various countries to study, work or join family ?
Are we talking about Afghans and Ukrainians ?

Which one of these constitutes mass immigration ? which constitutes the biggest figure in the overall immigration figures ?

I would think that if we are talking about how people feel about it, their experience of it, the weight is about the whole.

Most people are sympathetic to refugees so long as they feel they are legitimate, but even then, a scenario where you have a person who is homeless, who cannot access a GP in good time, they are going to be resentful, and maybe angry when they see outsiders given an apartment, put on a doctors list. When you have the state relying on getting trained people from other countries, so avoiding investing in training, or communities where the whole social network has been lost, and the community is full of strangers from anywhere, or people on the bottom whose wages have been depressed, or schools where kids are spending a lot of time and energy dealing with language issues - people will notice.

The idea that these problems are caused by under-investment is chicken-egg. Yes, to a point more investment would create more infrastructure capacity. But only to a point, and apart from that, it really is up to the people paying taxes to decide whether they want to spend endless amounts of tax dollars to increase services to serve large numbers of non-citizens. There will always be a line to be drawn and the "no borders" people see to be reluctant to delineate it.

Movement of labour has always been a serious issue for the working classes, why now all of a sudden it's not is mainly about what is good for the middle classes and an attempt to impose globalism on the population, which is in the end good for the rich. People who are most affected by having their communities changed and their economic life affected having a different perspective wasn't strange in the past and it shouldn't be now.

MangyInseam · 22/08/2022 11:44

TanyaZing · 22/08/2022 11:21

People have been mass immigrating to and from this country since the middle ages. Well over a thousand years ago came the Romans, then the Saxons, Angles, Jutes, then came the Danes and Norsemen. If you have a problem with immigration in 2022, you're a bit late to the party.

I wouldn't have said the Roman invasion went smoothly. Do you think the various Celtic tribes should have just invited them in?

JassyRadlett · 22/08/2022 12:18

I would think that if we are talking about how people feel about it, their experience of it, the weight is about the whole.

That doesn't really fly though, with the widespread 'not immigrants like you' comments though, does it? The concept of The Good Immigrant (who is liked, who is excused from the pejorative rhetoric, who contributes and does their share and is hence Allowed) also demands a counterpoint of The Bad Immigrant/the wrong kind of immigrant.

So who are the ones who are coming over here stealing our jobs/men/GP appointments and who are the ones contributing to society? Who gets to decide, and where is the line drawn? What sort of controls would actually be enough for people to stop blaming immigration for the impact of pisspoor planning, management and investment decisions?

ToastofLandon · 22/08/2022 13:03

DysonSphere · 19/08/2022 05:29

I personally wouldn't take offence. I'm black and some people, especially the older generation aren't PC, they will still refer to brown people as coloured etc. I try to seek things I have in common and have a fairly robust threshold for offence and writing people off. It has always paid off.

I also think that just because someone voted Brexit doesn't automatically make them a racist🙄 I think that's equally as lazy as someone blaming immigrants for everything and I thought we'd got past that nonsense and acknowledged that there were a lot of factors that influenced peoples' vote. Actually calling people racist for raising issues about immigration leads to people listening to people with more extreme viewpoints.

I do think there needs to be an acknowledgement of how immigration legal or otherwise, has rapidly changed some areas, not all positive and for white indigenous people born here decades ago, the areas they grew up in might feel taken over and alien to them.

I was born and grew up in SE London the child of second wave Windrush and one day an elderly lady I used to check in on was saying she felt the local high street had changed out of all recognition. The traditional small independent grocers, stalls and specialists shops (think things like pollards) had gone, replaced with sellers of exotic foods, cosmetics, cafes etc owned by non-british people some of whom don't speak English much or only employ family members as staff and don't mix with the community or attend the local pub etc.

I was quite young at the time and thought 'how ignorant' But after a few years I thought: She's right. That's how it is from her perspective. Who am I to say otherwise? I can see myself how it has changed from Frank and Barbara running the local corner shop and post office, who you would chat and have a natter with to being replaced with a family from abroad who maybe you don't have much in common with and don't talk to English to you beyond necessity and speak in their own language around you.

Then there's schools. Is it necessarily beneficial for schools with children representing 20 different languages or more to be using/receiving extra resources to help them catch up? I'm focusing on the word beneficial, because again for some people, they may think well, everyone else is getting the help, but not the poor white school children in some deprived part of the country away from the major cities.

The NHS: There is a massive shortage of training GPs and other allied health professions. It's all good foreign doctors being fast tracked or granted visas to work within the NHS, but why has the government withdrawn or reduced bursaries over the years for university health courses to the indigenous population whilst placing emphasis on immigrants holding the NHS together? And how many white English GP's are there for a white person to go to without waiting for ages? That sounds ignorant - why do you care as long as they're qualified? - but I try to put myself in their shoes. There have been times that I as a woc have desperately wanted a black doctor because they will understand things culturally that my white doctor as competent as they are, won't quite understand in the same way, and I don't see why it's different for a White person either.

When people expressing concerns (however ignorantly) like your neighbor are not listened to and just written off with a slogan of DailyFail Reader, Brexiter, racist, and not engaged with, then they are sitting ducks for the far right who do listen and give them all the time they want.

We need to have a balanced conversation around immigration. It may be a net good, but it does have impacts that may not be wholly positive that need to be acknowledged if we are to have cohesion as a nation. We may not like those views, but you can't just dismiss them.

Brilliant post. Things aren’t black and white. We need to be open to other points of view to think critically, discuss and learn.

The main thing I’ve taken away from this thread is that so many are happy to dismiss anyone with a different point of view and call ‘racist’ and ‘bigot’ and avoid having the conversations that are uncomfortable but so needed.

LoisLane66 · 22/08/2022 13:35

I make a point of never discussing anything controversial with friends or neighbours. If I'm asked outright, I will say that I never make up my mind without knowing all the facts or learning more about the subject. All true but in essence, saying nothing.
Sex, religion, politics, war...ditto.
Saying the 'wrong' thing can alienate what were previously, good friends and those friends can talk. Some people ask without letting you know their own stance on the subject and you can be sure they will never tell you that they think the exact opposite.

djdkdkddkek · 22/08/2022 14:03

StressedOutMumBex · 22/08/2022 10:49

yes so do I , my response was directed at the poster before you who said that terrigying things go on in the camps in france inferring that the people in them were not sage there - sorry if that was not clear

Ha ha no it was probably me way too early and not engaging my brain

LoisLane66 · 22/08/2022 14:12

@DysonSphere
Your post of 19th @ 05:29.
A perfect beautifully phrased critique and I endorse every word.
I hope that you're in a position, socially or professionally, where your clear thinking and concise explanations on this and other subjects are heard and repeated more widely.
If the rest of your thinking is as rational and fair then I would certainly vote for you as an MP and even, dare I say it, PM. Unbiased clarity.
I doff my hat.

apintortwo · 22/08/2022 15:17

It's really interesting that people who speak this way would typically never do so if they were talking about gentrifying some kind of community they have perceived as marginalized. They would not think, gee, these Amazonians have lived here for generations in a particular way of life, but I think I and others like me should be able to come in and change the nature of their culture, use the local resources, shape the economy and public life.

This. Or think of Maoris, even

KatyJ89 · 22/08/2022 16:06

About the only good thing about Brexit is people like this voicing their bigoted opinions more freely and giving the rest of us a heads up to avoid them!

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