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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I really liked my neighbour until she said this

577 replies

neighbourhoodwatch · 18/08/2022 23:00

I've recently moved to a new area and was talking to my neighbour, who I really like.

Somehow the conversation went to GPs and how you can never get appointments and basically have to beg to be seen nowadays.

She was saying how it didn't used for be that way... before...

She then went on to say that it's because of all the immigrants that have come into this country and how our country is too small to hold all these people.

She also talked about the illegals coming in on boats etc and how terrible it is.

I am immigrant. I didn't come on a boat and I have a good job etc. But essentially I came to this country. I've never claimed benefits or anything like that. I'm on a high salary etc and studied here etc etc. So, I'm well established. Essentially whenever people say stuff like that, alarm bells start ringing for me.

Am I seeing it too black and white ? It's just difficult when someone says stuff like this to someone who also came here..... as an immigrant...

OP posts:
apintortwo · 21/08/2022 10:56

Aren’t you on twitter ??
I get these kind of comments all day long. No matter how much tax I pay or private medical treatment I take or prep schools I pay

So you have private health insurance and send your children to a private school. You don't care about what happens to those who have to use public services then. Got it

apintortwo · 21/08/2022 11:00

Yes but why isn’t the Scottish referendum seen as xenophobic or racist?

Because it's initiated by the 'progressive' Left, so it must be ok. That's why. Double standards

apintortwo · 21/08/2022 11:02

Having worked with children and teenagers who have come here from refugee camps in France I can tell you categorically they are not safe. The things that go on in those places are terrifying.

Then France needs to deal with it

apintortwo · 21/08/2022 11:02

I wonder why some posters and people in general are so adamant that this illegal activity continues.

Pugdogmom · 21/08/2022 11:03

I couldn't be in the same company as people with these views.

neverbeenskiing · 21/08/2022 11:05

apintortwo · 21/08/2022 11:02

I wonder why some posters and people in general are so adamant that this illegal activity continues.

No one wants people risking their lives by crossing the channel in a dinghy. I'd much rather there were safe, legal, viable routes to seek asylum but our Government is unwilling to do that.

Bluestream · 21/08/2022 11:06

YANBU

neverbeenskiing · 21/08/2022 11:16

djdkdkddkek · 21/08/2022 10:23

So move to another part of France?

Show quote history

Many do. France recieves a significantly higher number of applications for asylum and they take in more refugees and asylum seekers than we do in the UK. Those that come here often do so due to family connections, because they speak the language and in some cases because they have fought alongside British soldiers. When you've already lost your home, your job and probably loved ones fleeing war, persecution or torture only to face more violence, inhumane conditions and the confiscation of your few remaining belongings in a refugee camp in Northern France, is it really so difficult to understand that the mammoth task of rebuilding your life from scratch might seem less insurmountable in a place where you can communicate with people or have friends or family connections?

BirmaBrite · 21/08/2022 11:27

I wonder why some posters and people in general are so adamant that this illegal activity continues.

If you mean people crossing the channel in inflatables then I can't think of anyone who has posted saying they wish it to continue.

It is a fairly new phenomenon though, why is it happening, what changed that has made it possible ?

whoopsnomore · 21/08/2022 11:41

apintortwo · 21/08/2022 11:02

I wonder why some posters and people in general are so adamant that this illegal activity continues.

Because the government currently doesn't provide for a safe, structured way to legally apply for asylum from outside the UK. And there is no such thing as "illegal migrants" - they have the right to claim asylum / refugee status.

pilkywilkymoansalot · 21/08/2022 11:43

We still live in a country where free speech is possible, we all have different experiences and opinions, we aren’t quite ready for a fatwa for these views. Look where that gets us.

wentworthinmate · 21/08/2022 13:47

You are completely different from the illegals coming over the channel on a lilo. They have no papers, no way of earning an honest tax paying living and more than likely end up in a detention centre. You should not be annoyed by your neighbour as her issue and yourself are miles apart imo.

Reimu · 21/08/2022 15:33

There IS such a thing as an illegal immigrant. If you do not ask and sneak into a country, you are an illegal immigrant, people who seek asylum and go through the system are not illegal immigrants. But there is indeed such a thing.

Lapun · 21/08/2022 17:24

So the argument continues. I smiled at the writer who could not have any relationship with people who think illegal immigration should be stopped. So that means you could not talk with about two thirds of the British population.

Do those people who think that the UK should have an open door to all immigrants ever consider the consequences of such a policy. Obviously, we need immigrants who bring required skills to UK. But if people cannot see the economic and social stupidity of their opinion then I doubt their ability to think clearly.

Gingernan · 21/08/2022 18:10

I used to work with someone like that,a lovely person that I got on well with...until such a conversation. I was a bit gobsmacked. She was about 20 years younger than myself and has a good education. I've never been like that,nor were my parents who would be about 106 if they were still alive. This was before I had met my current partner who is West Indian.
I didn't fall out with this lady but I fought my corner. What gets me about a lot of people is that they assume everyone shares the same narrow views. You have to challenge them. Another friend,who had immigrant parents said "Say something,don't let it go! You might change someone's mind."
I meet a lot of people who are racist and xenophobic. Yet they are my friends and colleagues. Normally I can't say boo to a goose but if you don't stand up for others,and your own beliefs...well I feel like I die a little bit inside when I don't call them out.

Lapun · 21/08/2022 20:11

Gingernan it is not “narrow” to disagree with your opinions. So you have a West Indian partner. So what? I actually live in the West Indies and i love the people there. But i am British and think the govt has not got any worthwhile policies on illegal immigration. It is not Racist to think that we need to control our borders although there are some people whose views are xenophobic. Mostly they are elderly people who do not like change. Wait until you are very old and see what you think then. This idea that if you are a Tory then ipso facto you are racist is bunkum. I gave most of my working life to teaching English to overseas students in parts of the world that most of you will never work in. My past students would be shocked if they knew some white people think their teacher was a racist! Maybe one day you will come to live in the West Indies. Local people are friendly and have a great sense of humour. This is not England. I am just surprised at the narrow point of view on this thread. Freedom of opinion is sacrosanct to many of us and so is freedom to express your opinion. I fear some younger people dont agree with that freedom.

whoopsnomore · 21/08/2022 21:07

Reimu · 21/08/2022 15:33

There IS such a thing as an illegal immigrant. If you do not ask and sneak into a country, you are an illegal immigrant, people who seek asylum and go through the system are not illegal immigrants. But there is indeed such a thing.

Please explain the way to apply for asylum from another European country without "sneaking into" the UK. (And maybe look up the Geneva convention before you repeat the usual mainstream misconceptions)

BirmaBrite · 21/08/2022 21:17

Freedom of opinion is sacrosanct to many of us and so is freedom to express your opinion. I fear some younger people dont agree with that freedom.

You can express any opinion you want, just because it is your opinion, doesn't mean it change's from being an opinion to something which is factually correct and it never means everyone else has to agree with it Smile

whoopsnomore · 21/08/2022 22:00

BirmaBrite · 21/08/2022 21:17

Freedom of opinion is sacrosanct to many of us and so is freedom to express your opinion. I fear some younger people dont agree with that freedom.

You can express any opinion you want, just because it is your opinion, doesn't mean it change's from being an opinion to something which is factually correct and it never means everyone else has to agree with it Smile

"All opinions are not equal. Some are a very great deal more robust, sophisticated and well supported in logic and argument than others."
— Douglas Adams

Lapun · 21/08/2022 22:56

BirmaBrite
i agree. My opinion is no more valuable than any other’s opinion but I do believe we have to ground our opinions in economic and social facts. It is fine to think untrammelled immigration is a good thing if we have considered the will of the population and have the housing, healthcare and educational institutions to meet the demand. It is a lovely belief to open our arms to everyone who wants to come. However, there is no such thing as a free lunch and that is how it is in the real world.

apintortwo · 21/08/2022 23:24

Please explain the way to apply for asylum from another European country without "sneaking into" the UK

Please explain why would you apply for asylum when you are already safe in another European country?

StressedOutMumBex · 22/08/2022 00:57

Lapun · 21/08/2022 17:24

So the argument continues. I smiled at the writer who could not have any relationship with people who think illegal immigration should be stopped. So that means you could not talk with about two thirds of the British population.

Do those people who think that the UK should have an open door to all immigrants ever consider the consequences of such a policy. Obviously, we need immigrants who bring required skills to UK. But if people cannot see the economic and social stupidity of their opinion then I doubt their ability to think clearly.

This. YABU

The op’s neighbour has a right to her view, just because people express a view that immigration should be managed properly or that they worry about it does not mean they are racist or xenophobic, nor are they all brexiteers. Most of the people launching themselves in dinghy’s from France are economic migrants vs asylum seekers. Whilst we do need peole with certain skill sets to work in the uk, we can’t have an open door policy to all comers. Anyone that thinks uncontrolled immigration has no effect on our ability to provide services, school places, housing etc is delusional. The issues we face in our services such as the nhs are not all down to ‘under funding’ . The uk population has grown by 5 million people over the last 11 years, net immigration over the last 11 years has averaged around 300k net per year ( which is 3 million of the overall 5 million population growth) this has and will continue to have an impact.

StressedOutMumBex · 22/08/2022 01:09

djdkdkddkek · 21/08/2022 10:23

So move to another part of France?

Show quote history

And yet you are quite happy to have those people, that are in those camps terrifying people, come to the UK without any questions asked ? Or do you just assume that those doing the ‘terrifying’ things are not also migrants

Joanbull · 22/08/2022 07:07

l live in an area with hardly any immigration and we still have the same problems. Long waiting times, hardly any council housing, schools not doing well and children not reaching full potential at schools. There are clearly issues with underfunding and mismanagement. Also if politicians only used the NHS, State schools and needed affordable homes I'm sure the situation would improve.

MangyInseam · 22/08/2022 08:05

apintortwo · 19/08/2022 14:31

But one of the things it makes clear is very interesting which is there is a divide between the "anywheres" who tend to think that the state owes as much to people from other countries as it does to it's own citizens - and this has been stated explicitly by some political figures, and "somewheres" who think that the state's most primary responsibility is to the well-being of it's own citizens. The former attitude is pretty clear on this thread.

Who are these 'political figures' spouting these inflammatory 'ideas'? Could you name a few?

I'd suggest reading the book. Or find an interview, if you are not a reader.