What would YOU do? Random kid knocked on my door...

[probablythemostrandomAIBUever]

I want to know what other parents would do, because I've never dealt with this before in my 12 years of parenting!

today a random kid knocked on my door, asking a random question and as I was answering him my DS6 came out and said hello.
Random kid then said he was nearly 9 and wanted to make friends with DS6. So they stand and chat at the door, random kid doesn't really know what to say to ds6 as he has immature social skills so he's a bit younger than his age (suspected autism).
Random kid then discloses something not nice about his parents. (Which is worrying!)

Then random kid asks to come in and play.
I said not tonight (trying to be kind!)
And he says okay I'll come knock for DS tomorrow.

Never met this kid. Doesn't go to my kids school.
No idea who his parents are or why he's out at 8pm. Not comfortable having a random kid in my house who I don't know from Adam, or his parents.
What do I do if he returns?
DS6 isn't allowed out to play as no street smarts and I don't want a random kid in my house. Or am I being a overly paranoid mum?

Go and knock on his door, tell his parents that their child is knocking on strangers' doors and asking to come in. Make it clear he is not welcome and that should really be that. I don't think it's about being paranoid. He's a stranger to your child.

Let them play together in the garden if he comes round again - at a more sensible time of day obviously. You never know, he might become a good friend to your son. One of my oldest friends lived around the corner and we never went to the same school.

I would have said not tonight either as it’s getting late.

If he turns up, there’s no reason why you can’t supervise them playing together.

Sounds tricky! If the kid comes around to yours again and asks to play with your DS, could you just politely say no (and basically repeat every time he comes around)? Or can you plan any holidays/days out over the next few weeks so you’re not in when he comes around? Hopefully he’ll come around less once school starts up again.

As for the thing he disclosed about his parents, appreciate you might not want to go into detail about it here. Do you think you need to talk to anyone about it though e.g. social services, a teacher/safeguarding lead at your son’s school once that starts up again - or maybe even pokiceCx

I'd have asked who he is and where he lives, and taken him home to his parents and asked them if they knew he was knocking on random doors asking to be let in.
He sounds very vulnerable.
If he disclosed something worrying about his parents I would call MASH.

Sorry, that bit at the end of the last para should say ‘police’

She literally said she doesn't know who his parents are .

I wouldn't let a strange kid in. You have no idea if his parents even know where he is. Imagine letting him in to play and his parents desperately searching for him, absolutely nope (unlikely if he's knocking on random doors).

I would try to find out who this child is and speak to social services or school, maybe phone nspcc for advice. Don't approach the parents as that might make things worse for him.

It sounds like he was trying to avoid going home and looking for somewhere to hand out in safety for a while?

The child will know who his parents are and where he lives!
If he doesn't then you'd call the police.

I'd not let a random child in. I would have found out were he lived and gone to see his parents at some point to suggest him knocking on doors is unsafe.

Would depend on the initial random question. I’m guessing he’s just been chucked out and told to “go play” so is looking to make friends and get a warm welcome somewhere. But he could be looking for support/attention, I guess how urgently is the issue. If he turns up again you can ask questions. “I can’t just let you come in, your family needs to know where you are, where’s your house so I can ask?” “Where do your parents think you are?” “It isn’t safe to go into strangers houses, did they tell you this at school?” All that with him on the doorstep should give you a better read. But basically he’s unlikely to be a friend to your son so can be gently discouraged but maybe with a call to the school as well b

Is he a ghost child? 👻

You said he disclosed something odd about his parents, and he’s wandering around unsupervised in the middle of the day.

Poor kid; he’s probably neglected, or worse. Rather than chasing him I’d offer him a drink and a snack if he calls again, find out where he lives and goes to school, and email the school headteacher and call social services to report your concerns.

Don’t leave your child alone with him of course, but do try and get his address and name at least so you can flag an issue with his school and the authorities.

What did he disclose?

I wouldn't let him come in and play! You could start something and then you'll never be able to get rid of him or you could get embroiled in something with his family! He's a child (and not your child), it's ok to say no and not feel guilty

I agree with other posters suggesting you find out where he lives. To be honest- if he has disclosed something worrying about his parents and you are concerned, I would be inclined to call the NSPCC and ask for advice as it sounds like it might be a safeguarding issue.
Poor little chap- not normal to be wandering about at 8pm knocking on stranger's door...

What???
So you would possibly turn your back on a child in need of real help. I have no words....
Yes, the child could be fabricating, but it would still worry me that they said something that bothered me.

The little boy is 8? And knocking on doors trying to find somewhere to go in?

How bloody sad 😔

I have a DD who is 8. Just a baby!

He's disclosed something unpleasant going on at home. I'd ask him where he goes to school. Ask him where he lives. I'd ask him if he's happy/feels safe to go home and take him back there if he is. If not i'd be ringing police for advice.

Oh bless that poor little boy, it’s so late for an 8 year old to be wandering the streets. If you are worried by what he disclosed about his parents please report. I would supervise him and your DS playing in the garden and as others suggested try and find out where he goes to school and where he lives.

@vipersnest1 I don't know what the child said to the OP! If a child said something really worrying to me on my front doorstep I would phone social services! I would not speak to the parents in case the child got into trouble. If the OP is that worried about the child I'm sure she (and I ) would ask said child where he lived and walk him back home! Job done! If the child was asking me for help, of course I would let him come in and phone police social services straight away. From what the OP said, it sounded more like he wanted to play with her son. My reply still stands, I wouldn't invite him in and I wouldn't want to get embroiled in the family! Common sense suggests that yes, if something terrible was going on and I sensed it I would help the child. But I didn't get that was the situation from the original post.

Sounds more like he was knocking on doors to reveal that 'bad' thing about his parents. That's a cry for help.

This was my first thought. Maybe he's trying to reach out in the only way he knows how.

Did what he reveal put him in danger, op?

Don't feel comfortable to disclose what was said, but it was a reason and a action I didn't agree with. But I wouldn't say abusive just worrying.

That's what I'm thinking it's a unlikely friendship (even DSs year group find DS immature for his age at times) and I don't want this kid knocking all day every day.

. He left his bike outside my house too and it's still sat there! Like I'm not liable if something happens to it am I? 😳

He is 8 or 9. How sad that you turned your back on him. He clearly is vulnerable and avoiding home. 8/9 is a baby. Not some criminal.

Poor boy. I hope he is okay.

Next time, find out where he lives and call appropriate authority. Ask NSPCC for advice.

Our society is increasingly so uncaring.

If what he disclosed seemed serious enough, I'd contact police for advice. Otherwise, you have two options: Either let the children play a bit under your supervision and decide based on that whether or not they should continue to play together, or continue to tell him your child isn't available to play.

You aren't obligated to become involved in this child's life or encourage him as a playmate for your child, if you'd rather not. If there's nothing to indicate that social services should be called, you shouldn't feel guilty for following your gut and choosing your child's friends for him while he's still so young.