What would YOU do? Random kid knocked on my door...

[probablythemostrandomAIBUever]

I want to know what other parents would do, because I've never dealt with this before in my 12 years of parenting!

today a random kid knocked on my door, asking a random question and as I was answering him my DS6 came out and said hello.
Random kid then said he was nearly 9 and wanted to make friends with DS6. So they stand and chat at the door, random kid doesn't really know what to say to ds6 as he has immature social skills so he's a bit younger than his age (suspected autism).
Random kid then discloses something not nice about his parents. (Which is worrying!)

Then random kid asks to come in and play.
I said not tonight (trying to be kind!)
And he says okay I'll come knock for DS tomorrow.

Never met this kid. Doesn't go to my kids school.
No idea who his parents are or why he's out at 8pm. Not comfortable having a random kid in my house who I don't know from Adam, or his parents.
What do I do if he returns?
DS6 isn't allowed out to play as no street smarts and I don't want a random kid in my house. Or am I being a overly paranoid mum?

Not sure how my post has turned into that? I said worrying but not abusive!

Please do not twist my post.

You are worrying about yourself and that this 8 year old presents a danger to you? Why not consider that this child is facing some level of danger and your subtle intervention may save his life? Why are you worried about yourself and not the child?

I feel sorry for the kid. It sounds like he doesn't want to go home.

I wonder if the worrying thing that he disclosed was only part of what's going on for him. Maybe he's told you the smallest of his worries to see if he can trust you with the rest.

Is it normal in your area for 8year olds to go about knocking on strangers’ door? Isn’t that enough to cause your concern for this child’s welfare coupled with whatever he said about his parents that made you uncomfortable?

Do you even care about the welfare of this child?

Bad idea. What if his parents are abusive and punish the boy for drawing attention to himself/them.
And anyway, how cold can any one person be?!

OP, he has disclosed something worrying about his parents. Do you know which school he goes to? Phone up and ask to speak to the safeguarding lead person at the school (usually the Head or Deputy Head). This can be done anonymously. Explain that you are concerned about a child at their school because he is wandering at night, approaching strangers and because he said X about his parents.

Did you ask where he lives etc? I find it odd you're more concerned about liability for his bike than his welfare given the rest of your posts.

Oh yeah, great....the kid has already disclosed something about his parents that suggests he may come from an abusive household and you're advise is to land him in hot water...?

OP please don't do this! Get to know him, let him play in the garden in you're comfortable?

And chances are OP, your call will be part of a bigger jigsaw.

Wow, your concern is not wanting to be liable for the bike?! No worry for this kid?

I’d find out where he lives and speak to his parents. Poor mite.

I'm quite sad that you were so uninterested in this kid. If something happened to you and your DS was knocking on doors, wouldn't you want someone else's mum to give enough of a shit to want to help?

If he comes back tomorrow, find out his name and where he lives, and give Social Services or your local policing team a ring for advice.

And yet it’s bad enough that you can’t post it here?

The big picture of a child out at 8pm who says something worrying about his parents, has low social skills, and wanders off leaving his bike at your house should be seen in its entirety.

You can't separate the specific thing he said from all the rest of the worrying picture.

The thing he disclosed might not even be the full truth. Sometimes when a child is mustering up the courage to open up, they will start small with their disclosures. I would take the encounter as an attempt to get help tbh.

If you see him again I would try to get a name and address from him, a few more details about his life (school, who lives with the family) and call social services.

My take has always been ‘bring your parent so I can check it with them. I don’t let children play here without their parents’ permission’. Even now, my first question to anyone DD12 drags home is ‘Do your parents know where you are?’

^^ This.
I’d have taken it as the child didn’t want to go home. Children don’t just wander up to a stranger’s house, knock on the door and disclose something worrying unless there is something wrong.
Did you at least ask his name? Ask where he lived or which school he goes to?

I certainly wouldn't let him play in the garden and I can't believe people are suggesting that you do. You don't know this child or what sort of a background they come from. This is a huge age gap at this stage of childhood. I would tell him if he knocks again that your son is too young and shut it down immediately.
If you have a safeguarding concern I'd try to find out his name/school and maybe speak to them. You aren't responsible for him but I would try and pass on concerns if you can find the appropriate details.

If he’s disclosed something worrying to you while knocking on your door late in the evening wanting to be let in…

He’s reaching out to you. I suspect this disclosure is testing the waters. I used to do this too- please make the call. The worst that happens is they’re investigated and turns out everything is fine.

I think you’re being a bit paranoid.

On my estate growing up we always knocked on each other’s doors and would think nothing of knocking on a random person’s door to make a new friend.

Is he new to the area?

I would be happy having him in my home to play but the only issue is it could become a regular thing and he’ll be knocking all of the time.
But you just need to be very clear and just say no not today or that it’s time to go home now.

If what he disclosed to you is worrying then I’d report it.

This really makes me want to cry. I’m so worried for this child. This will bother me for some time.

If it’s not that bad, why not post what he said? It sounds like there may be a wider picture.

I would say something along the lines of, “It’s very kind of you to be so friendly but it’s not safe for you to approach people’s houses when you don’t know them and ask to go in. We only let children play inside here after we know their parents and we are all happy to allow it.”

This. I hope someone helps him soon, even if the OP won’t.

These were my thoughts too.

I'd get to know him while keeping firm boundaries you are comfortable with such as supervision, outside play only, limits on time of day, when it's time to go home and so on. I played with my 9 year old neighbour at 4, I'm sure when he's about 10 he will ride off to school friends instead.

Yes call 101 or nspcc

If he turns up again take him home to his parents. He shouldn't be knocking on strangers doors.