What would YOU do? Random kid knocked on my door...

[probablythemostrandomAIBUever]

I want to know what other parents would do, because I've never dealt with this before in my 12 years of parenting!

today a random kid knocked on my door, asking a random question and as I was answering him my DS6 came out and said hello.
Random kid then said he was nearly 9 and wanted to make friends with DS6. So they stand and chat at the door, random kid doesn't really know what to say to ds6 as he has immature social skills so he's a bit younger than his age (suspected autism).
Random kid then discloses something not nice about his parents. (Which is worrying!)

Then random kid asks to come in and play.
I said not tonight (trying to be kind!)
And he says okay I'll come knock for DS tomorrow.

Never met this kid. Doesn't go to my kids school.
No idea who his parents are or why he's out at 8pm. Not comfortable having a random kid in my house who I don't know from Adam, or his parents.
What do I do if he returns?
DS6 isn't allowed out to play as no street smarts and I don't want a random kid in my house. Or am I being a overly paranoid mum?

Absolutely do not let a random unknown. Child in your home. It’s risky. Multiple Unknowns
Just because he’s a child doesn’t mean he doesn’t pose a risk to your son
Youre not obliged to fulfil his request. Prioritise your own child. Say No! Firmly
This isn’t an etiquette or manners test were you big heartedly rescue a random child
if you have identifying details call social service, duty team and report to local authority SW

Referring to him as ‘random kid’ like 10 times is coming off a bit weird. I know he’s unknown to but it’s a bit weird just how many times you refer to him as random.

No help whatsoever from me, but every thread involving unwelcome callers I read on here makes me glad I never answer my door!

Weird is the schmaltzy sentimentality that a random kid needs rescued by op
He is random, an unknown, and on that basis shouldn’t be accessing op home or her son
It is risky. And yes he’s a random unknown child
The op isn’t obliged in any way

I think it’s tricky. I wouldn’t let a random 9 year old in to play with my 6 year old kid. Even if I knew the parents and could let them know where he is I don’t think that’s fair on the 6 year old.

You suspect ASD to some extent and even some NT 9 year olds aren’t great at picking up social cues like “not tonight” so if he comes back you may have to be a bit more straightforward.

I suggest something along the lines of stepping outside to be with him and closing the door (so DS can’t come to you and he doesn’t ge distracted looking around you into the house or for DS) then “I probably shouldn’t have said ‘not tonight’ to you because it’s given you the impression that it would be okay another night. But I can’t let a kid I don’t know into the house to play. It would be wrong for several reasons - Neither Ds nor I know you, also I don’t know who your parents are and they don’t know you’re here. Those are the biggest and either on it’s own means I can’t just let you in. But it’s also too late for DS, he’s only 6. And we have busy evenings so it’s not convenient either. I’m sorry I made you think you could come back and it would be okay.” Then, if his bike is still there, point it out and suggest he takes it home before someone else finds it and thinks it’s abandoned.

I would also consider letting the police know about him. You don’t have a name or anything so it’s more about reporting a vulnerable boy wandering around knocking on stranger’s doors. The comment about his parents may or may not be relevant.

I would phone some sort of official body for guidance.
If nothing else, the child can't be knocking on strangers doors, for their own safety.

I understand your caution and similarly wouldn't want to allow a random child into my house to play with my younger children. However, that doesn't mean you can shrug off all responsibility for ensuring this child is ok. The safeguarding of children is everyone's responsibility. You can do that without invited him into your home or allowing him to play with your child.

What is this not-nice, worrying thing he said about his parents? As this is a big part of why other posters and I are concerned.

I can’t see that anyone has said OP should let him into her home.

Can you count? Like 10 times is actually factually 3 times I said random
But Hey! Don't let facts get in the way of like hyperbole

Presuming name change fail, the OP actually uses 'random kid' seven times (including in the title).

If I were you, I would not invite the random child into my house. Mainly because you don't know if the knock on the door is really random or if your house is being watched by some chances who have sent the chikd because they know people will be more trusting of a child. Keep all conversations outside the house. I wouldn't expose my child to random child again either. Once I side your house, you simply have no idea what that child's intentions are. If he/she is unsafe, offer to call the Police on his behalf and wait outside with him while the Police arrive.

He’s young and sounds vulnerable (not socially aware, immature, unsupervised and not able to take adequate care of himself as evidenced by knocking on strangers’ doors, has a questionable home life). I can understand why having an unknown child arrive on your doorstep and immediately want to be friends with your child feels uncomfortable. It’s not like you were at the park; this is your home and his behaviour is unusual. However, I couldn’t have turned him away I don’t think. Not without trying to find out a bit about him like where he goes to school and his name so I could contact the headteacher and/or social services. You seem very cold and detached from the fact that this is a vulnerable child, and are overly concerned with silly things like whether you’ll be liable for damage to his bike (no, obviously). He's just a little boy.

I would say you are overreacting about the whole thing, but the part about “disclosing” something about his parents does sound worrying.

But sounds like you’re not willing to elaborate.

If you don’t feel comfortable with him coming to knock for DS just tell him “Thanks but no thanks, as DS is a little young for this” …

He’s left the bike to come back- worth a call to the local school, if different to yours.... the head might be in or you could get them to call he might be known?

I don't mean to get on my soap box but it really frustrates and exasperates me when someone comes to a forum where they can post anonymously, doesn't need to disclose names or locations, and still feels the need to withhold information that would be really pertinent to what they're posting about.

OP, you could live anywhere in the world and this boy could be anyone in the world. I don't know why you wouldn't say even roughly what he had said, as it will obviously help inform responses, and furthermore half the posts will be posts asking what was said and how it's useful to know. All responses without that information will be speculating and will be bias because of that!

I can count. I also counted 10 "randoms". Which I agree is very odd.

Are you the OP @Zone2NorthLondon ?

ask him where he lives? If he is local why not say he can only play if his parents know where he is and maybe get their number.

Thanks @DenholmElliot1

I have not said random 10 times. Are you just adding up “random” in a umm random manner

Some people are saying 'you aren't responsible for him', but as an adult who has concerns about a child, actually you ought to be.

Contact someone who can help, such as the NSPCC helpline 0808 800 5000, your local authority child protection services or the police. They will assess and decide on any action.

. He left his bike outside my house too and it's still sat there! Like I'm not liable if something happens to it am I?

If a clearly lonely eight-year-old was going around knocking on strangers’ doors and suddenly mentioning concerning things about his parents, the last thing I would be worrying about was whether I was ‘liable’ if something happened to his bike.

I’m really shocked at some of the responses on this thread. This child is clearly really vulnerable if he’s wandering around knocking on the doors of strangers, saying ‘worrying’ things about his parents and half the people here seem to think he’s just some feral nuisance intent on worming his way into your home. No wonder child neglect falls under the radar if people would send a kid that young away without even trying to find out where he lives and why he’s roaming about.

I wouldn’t let him in to play neither today nor tomorrow. I would tell him something as @LimeTwists suggested and ask him lots of questions to find out his name, address, school, why he’s out etc. Probably would take him home, depending on what he’s said about parents.

A little boy knocked on your door and told you something worrying about his parents and you’re more worried about whether you’ll get in trouble if his bike goes missing?

Jesus wept

I have autism so my story telling skills are not that great sorry hence random kid, random kid, random kid.....

I've found out who it is now and he's not in any danger. Apparently he is quite rough with other kids so not a suitable friend for DS.

I will just have to say he's to old for DS as I need to put his needs/safety first.