To ask the real reason you turned down that invite

[Noiamnotshe]

Saw another thread about relatives not going to family events and why should they need an excuse or should they go no Contact etc well I have lots of reasons to say no but I dont give reasons, wondering why you turned down that family birthday party/wedding/kids picnic, work event/girls drinks I have turned a relative birthday dinner, friends parties, weddings and work events down without excuses as don't want to tell people the reasons which have varied from

1. husband is being complete twat and don't want to be anywhere near him
2. uncles are total alcoholics and don't want to be bothered with the hassle of hearing tales of their drama and shit behaviour
3. another relative is complete racist and don't want to be in toxic company where I have to bite tongue and not say anything so as not to cause issue
4. too hot
5. feeling too stressed to pretend to be normal and have a happy conversation and not tell them all my worries
6. nothing to wear
7. not been to hairdresser in too long
8. can't really afford it
9. haven't the energy for smalltalk rather watch TV or read
10. it's too cold
11. I want to binge watch something I2) other relatives are very snobby and judgemental can't be bothered
12. it's too far to drive
13. very very tired
14. I do not want to mix with corporate banking people outside of work What's your excuse?

There's pretty much nothing that I want to do in the evening more than crochet and watch true crime documentaries.

My children have chattered and clambered all over me since 6am and I might feature in my own true crime documentary if I don't have some time alone.

Because I'm lazy AF and anything past 9pm is past my bedtime.

Because if I have more than 2 drinks I'll wake up with The Fear.

If it involves any member of my family I don't want to go because we don't all get on and it's complicated (for this reason I'm DREADING going to my sisters wedding in September which is abroad, I'm planning on hiding and doing my own thing for the whole week except the ceremony!)

1. Because I'm nicely jaded after work or playing my favourite sport
2. Having to blowdry my hair
3. Don't want to get stuck at the dud end of the table
4. Would prefer to watch 90 Day Fiancé slobbing on the sofa

I’d taken my bra off and could not bare the thought of putting it on again.

Being polite to people when I do t care about them.

We found that when we stopped drinking many people moved us right to the periphery of their social circles which was a bit hurtful as it highlighted that these people weren’t true friends. However it suits us as we don’t now need to make up excuses not to go to all their shit events!

Because I’m an introvert and I’d rather lounge around in front of the TV than have to make pointless chit chat

This thread is great, it makes me feel better!

Because I'm embarrassed at the weight I've put on over covid.

I have nothing that fits me. Nothing that makes me feel good.

If it involves wearing a one size fits all - I can guarantee - it won't. It didn't pre the covid weight!

Embarrassed about fitness. I'm fairly fit but have very fit friends.

Because with young children it's an extra effort and my DH will look after them and be tired after.

The expense.

I'm an introvert and work with the public. I'm drained when I get home.

Because it's such a long drive.

The times I do go out I usually love it though as I've filtered out the ones that I don't want to do.

I declined a wedding invite with no excuse.

I was starting IVF and didn’t want to mess her about cancelling last minute if it happened to be egg retrieval day or similar. I didn’t tell anyone I was having IVF.

I ticked the sorry can’t make it on the rsvp and sent it back. Bride went psychotic as I hadn’t given my excuse, and hasn’t spoken to me since. 🙄

Someone I'd got to know online (through a professional forum initially) invited my partner and me to stay with her and husband for a weekend. Leaving aside the fact it entailed a long journey, I couldn't imagine why she asked us but could well imagine us not getting on well at all (a friend had met her for lunch and gave me a lengthy, not very favourable report). I just said we couldn't, despite it being an undated invitation.

I knew it was a joke of a marriage that wouldn’t last. I wasn’t prepared to spend time or money on it.

i rarely decline invites but I have become a bit more selective recently as I have had so much going on with various things I can’t always face being sociable and don’t always want to be jolly.
Usually I would be fairly honest unless it’s with people who aren’t mega good friends and then I’d say I was busy!
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Because Im useless at small talk with various strangers at a "do"

I cant be arsed getting washed and changed to go out in the evening

I turn into a pumpkin like cinderellas coach after about 10 pm

Yes, I've done the same. Two good friends of ours too. But I knew they shouldn't marry each other & it was going to be a massive (boring) event where the only people we'd know were the bride & groom. The marriage survived about 18 months.

Main reason for any & every other event: I'd rather be at home.