To ask what in life has made you saddest and how you ever got over it?

[Danceswithduck]

Something in life hasn’t worked out I hoped / expected it would. It feels a bit like heartbreak - that’s all I can liken it to.
Im so sad and could cry all the time. I cannot say what it is as it is so identifying to me.

What made you the saddest you’ve ever been and how did you get over it? Or learn to live with it?

The other thing I don't think I'll ever get over is when I had a missed miscarriage. I was only 24 and had had a difficult few years. When I fell pregnant I was just so happy. Finally it felt something good was happening. Then I went along to the 12 week scan full of innocent excitement. And I found out my baby was dead. It felt so unfair and I was very sad for a long time. I learned to cope again with therapy.

I'm so sorry. The exact same thing happened to me in 2007.

DH dying. He'd been diagnosed with a rare, aggressive cancer and was doing OK. He had a huge surgery, a Whipple's procedure, where they discovered his cancer had spread, if they'd seen the spread on the way in they wouldn't have gone ahead but they didn't spot it until they were closing him up. He did OK on chemo and surpassed his oncologist's expectations but then had signs of a blood clot which were ignored by the local hospital. A week or so later he had a massive stroke. The stroke robbed him of his speech, a lot of his cognition and the use of his right hand side, it also meant he couldn't have any more chemo. I fought hard to get him home where he died in February. He should still be here. He was failed massively.

After years of infertility I finally got pregnant. My mum died two months before my son was born. Today it’s 23 years and I’m sitting here crying.

This is heartbreaking to read. I am so sorry 😞

The man I loved telling me that he was bisexual. I broke off our engagement and despite two marriages, both to lovely men ( first husband die d), I still think about him 40 years later and have never again really loved anyone in the same way. I was a basket case for some years after the break u p.

I'm in a bad bad relationship (there's no abuse btw).
Everyday I know how little he cares about me, yet I love him so much.
I walk on eggshells all the time. I walk on shifting sands. I cry and cry and cry again.

Oh my god ,my heart breaks for you and your children.
Yes i agree with you x

My baby. My daughter died during labour at full term. She was perfect and would have lived if the doctors and midwives had listened to me. We should have had a c-section and instead they just stood around while she died.

I'm a different person now. Full of rage, full of sadness, totally traumatised. I just miss her - it's a physical pain. Everything always feels so wrong because she should be here and she isn't. I take it day by day and sometimes hour by hour. Sometimes I'm still convinced that I'm going to wake up and find it was a nightmare.

It's really scary with flashbacks and panic attacks and things. And I feel like I can't rely on myself anymore because my brain and emotions just don't work like they used to. It's like a big chunk of me died too.

I'm having to totally reshape everything, who I am, how I live, what I do. I'm not as resilient as I was so I can't do a lot of the challenging work stuff I used to. I'm not interested in things I used to be. I don't care about most of the people who I used to. It's like nothing matters and I don't think it ever will.

Like others here I've got quite a lot of sadness in life and I sometimes think why me, I'm friendly, would help anyone and yet I see complete arseholes seemingly sailing through life

Like someone above I'm estranged from my oldest son who is just40 , when I split with my ex husband in my late 20's it was decided he would keep our 2 boys as he had a close family and I did not and he was a much higher earner and an exceptionally good dad - it was all sorted reasonably amicably and he met someone else a few months later and eventually married . I saw the boys regularly and all was ok till my eldest son was 20- he suddenly took an intense dislike to my husband of 4 years and just didn't want contact and simply cut me off . I wasn't invited to his wedding 6 years ago , first I knew was when it was on Facebook and I have never seen his 2 boys who are 3 and 5. He has ignored all messages I've sent to him on Facebook. My other son I am in contact with but I have only seen him a few times and he tends only to contact me if he wants money - . It's incredibly hurtful seeing all their lives going on on Facebook but that way at least I know they are ok - my H never mentions them to me , never brings them up , although I do show him pictures of the young grandchildren on FB. He must know how much it hurts me.

I never thought when sorting what I thought was best for them at the time that it would turn out like this. It totally breaks my heart and I kind of have to hide it .

I also don't have my parents around and my brother did a disappearing act about 28 years ago after episodes of bad mental health.

I do have a son from this marriage though in his 20's and he's my pride and joy despite him being frustrating at times. I do know he is sad for me too.

We never know do we what sadness underpins so many others lives.

My marriage (no abuse or anything)

I should have never done it but I did. I am so trapped. His temper and black moods hang over the house like a horrible dark cloud.

I don't love him.

My DD helps but it breaks my heart that I won't ever have another child. Bringing another child into this would be a huge mistake.

Me too. 2 abortions in one year. I could have forgiven myself one but not two. For the next ten years or so I went crazy with the regret, guilt and grief. I just couldn't believe that I couldn't undo my decision, that I couldn't go back and change what happened .

Finally getting help for my mental health issues made a difference and when I was finally in a place where I could do so and had kids, I think, it healed me. To an extent. But I'll always feel sorry and guilty for my abortions and the only way I could make somewhat peace with that was by accepting that I'd never be at peace and that it would never be ok.

Everyone I'm so sorry for all you havw gone through and I hope that your life is now or will be soon lighter and happier.

Being dumped by my first boyfriend nearly three years ago now. Sounds pathetic compared to the devastating stories on here. I have a great boyfriend of 2 years yet I cannot stop thinking about the ex. Every day. He was everything. Worst still, he has serious mental health problems and I'm not there to look after him. He's been sectioned twice I think since we split up. We live in a town and see each other about sometimes and he just ignores me.

The loss of my son, he was 5. There was a thread not long ago on here about speeding drivers and one particular reply was awful when I posted how it made me feel and why people shouldn’t speed. We were in the middle of a zebra crossing and the driver couldn’t stop in time…. Time doesn’t heal in my situation, I hate that driver more and more every day and no amount of counselling helps.

’It’ asked to meet me to apologise, I refused to meet ‘it’. I hope ‘it’ suffers the guilt every day for the rest of ‘it’s’ life and I truly hope ‘it’ I can’t sleep at night nor live a normal life after ‘it’ was released from prison.

I live a normal life to anyone that doesn’t know me, I look happy, I smile but 25 years later I’m still consumed with rage and the memories of that day.

Every time I look at my eldest son who is just a baby trapped in a young man's body. When we gave him his birthday presents recently and he just looked confused because he has no idea what a birthday is.
I've never heard his voice yet 23 years on and I still long for a chat with him.

Realising that after 9 pregnancy losses at varying stages I wasn’t going to get my textbook happy ending with a healthy pregnancy and a biological baby. What helped me move on what feeling like we had taken control by stopping TTC and using contraception again. Still hurts but more of a sharp sting than the gut wrenching agony I used to feel about it.

MysticCT
I'm so, so sorry x

Losing my child. No other pain has ever come close. I can see now why people can die of a broken heart. I had pain, so severe I thought I was having a heart attack and it happened a few times when I got upset. I thought I was dying.

Finding out my husband was a gambling addict and had hidden it for years. gambled thousands upon thousands that could have drastically changed our life. Sent me into a depression I couldn't find my way out of for a good while. That was life altering, changed our relationship, trust but nothing in comparison to losing a child.

During my marriage to my first husband, I felt helpless, unhappy, sad and lonely, what I didn't realise, until later, he was abusive, sexually, financially and emotionally. I was so young and thought the relationship was as good as it gets. He isolated me from my friends. I spent 10 years with him, until I realised I did have a choice and I could leave him. That then took me to some of the happiest times of my life.

@Rosiethecat15 I'm so sad for you- puts my woes totally into perspective

My children growing up and leaving home to work. I'd do it all again in a heartbeat as I really really enjoyed being a SAHM.

I'm still not over it.

@sunshineamongsttheshitstorm I can totally relate to how you feel regarding the loss of your child. People can sympathise but until you’ve been though the pain, the longing to have them back and 1000 different emotions others truly can’t understand

Through my own fault I never fulfilled my potential. I could have been a high flyer but have always made do and plodded along. I had the opportunity to study medicine but opted not too.I regret it now but am too old to change anything.

@VeryEmptyArms I’m so so sorry for the loss of your daughter.