What is this DP does?

[rainonme7]

Im really trying to keep this as brief as possible.

I'll be watching a TV series, it might be one I've been watching for a couple of weeks. One day partner will sit and start asking questions about the series such as "so who's that?", "are they together?" Etc ...
before I know it, DP is watching it with me.

Then if I go to watch an episode - DP will say "are you watching it without me? I wanted to watch it with you because I like it".

So I'll suggest us watching it now, DP will say something like "I'm not in the mood to watch it right now". Or something. So then I don't watch it because DP wants us to watch it together.

Time passes and I'll suggest again "do you want to watch X...." and DP will say no. But then doesn't want me to watch it either unless we both are.

This has happened with loads of series/ films etc...

So earlier this week I went back to watching a series where this happened and I haven't returned to watch it in 2 years!
So I've been watching it. DP walks into living room and says "you're watching this? We were watching this together? And now you're watching it without me?"

So I said "we were watching it but then you never felt in the mood to watch it and it's been 2 years now and I want to finish it off!"

So DP says "well I would like to watch it with you again". So I replied "ok shall we watch it now then because I'm watching it".
DP then says "I don't really fancy watching it tonight".
So I carry on watching it and DP says "are you still going to watch it?" And looks sad and disappointed so I just switched it off.

But this happens with so many series, films, etc. it winds me up because I feel like I can't watch a series on my own without this happening.

What's going on?!

Tell him to fuck off to Currys and buy another tv
You watch things when you want to watch them
He's very controlling isn't he

Absolutely fuck that for a bag of badgers, it’s controlling.

Does he know how much you love doing all his hobbies and past times with him together though perhaps not right when he wants to do them next?

Agree he's either really weird, very controlling, or both. The sulking to get his own way isn't on and if he's not already doing this at other times, I bet he soon will be. I couldn't be doing with it.

OFGS. mean?

Keep pandering then

He is a needy controlling fucking twat and I would not watch the fucking adverts with him.

This.

Stop letting his (manipulative )'sad' face control your choices.

So I carry on watching it and DP says "are you still going to watch it?" And looks sad and disappointed so I just switched it off.

That's where you went wrong. You wanted to watch, he didn't. You say "Yes." and keep watching.
Have you always put his wants ahead of your own?

And it's not like it's going to vanish after you've watched it is it? You can watch when you want and if you enjoyed it watch again when he finally deigns to be ready.

Many many years ago dsis was having a strop because I was reading a magazine that came in the post (addressed to both of us). Something like it wasn't fair that I was reading it first. DDad told her it wasn't written in disappearing ink!! Same applies.

I would be watching what I want to, not what he suggest.

Did she come back or is still trying to catch up on years worth of unfinished tv shows?

he sounds so annoying

Its so he gets to control your leisure activity. Sod that for a game of soldiers. And the being hurt & disappointed is emotional manipulation. He's a peach isn't he ?

OOh, not encountered this as a rather subtle way for them to control us.
It would have taken me a while to realise that it was a bright red flag in plain sight.
I do hope you are devising an exit strategy OP.

My hubby use to constantly used to do that but only when Coronation Street was on as he knew I’d turn it off and watch it some other time

yes I could just ignore the requests and watch it myself, but that seems mean and it's somewhat nice to watch something together.

Oh just ignore them. It's not mean, or at least no more mean than the controlling twattery. It's actually quite empowering to say 'yes, I am watching this now' and then just refuse to hand over the remote.

I recognise this. Other variations include getting partner to watch something he wants to watch but partner isn’t interested. Getting annoyed if partner goes to bathroom or goes out of the room whilst program is on. Control…control - the partner doesn’t really exist as a separate person.

Thank you for all of your replies. I've only just had chance to come back on to MN now for a minute and saw there are a lot of responses - many of which referring to control, and I can see why as it certainly can appear controlling.

We do sometimes watch some programmes together and then have separate ones. But the scenario I mentioned in the original OP does happen a fair bit and it can be really frustrating.

I will read through all the replies properly when I get chance to. Thank you all for your responses.

Another thread that reminds me how happy I am to be single.

My exH used to say "OMG you cheated on me by watching Ozark without me" (eg)

Yeah mate. We're a fucking season behind. Watch it by yourself!

What an utter twat he is.

I don’t know how people can cope living with someone so irritating. I genuinely wish I was that kind and patient.

Tell him it's his choice what he does with his eyes. It's not his choice what you do with yours. You've tried to be accommodating and overlook him muscling in on your "me time" but you're no longer willing to let him tell your eyes that they need to be accompanied by his if they're going to look at a TV show, and that they have to wait until his eyes feel like it.

😂 I might try this!

Maybe get him to choose 1 box set out of them all that you will watch together when he "feels like it" then the rest are yours to watch whenever you fucking want 😁