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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with what this nursery worker said?

95 replies

Bubbleapop · 17/08/2022 10:11

DS is 18 months old and goes to nursery. He had a little bump at the weekend (nothing major, just a little bump just above his eyebrow and a small mark). We had to fill in an existing injury form when he went to nursery as we've done a couple of times when he's had the odd scratch/bruise.

Anyway, when they asked how it had happened, I that I was taking a shower and his brother (12, 13 in a month, he's my step son not that it matters) was watching him for 10 mins and he'd fallen when they were playing. She replied almost aghast that his brother had watched him and said it was "far too young to be responsible for a baby!!" Hmm

He's nearly 13 and is very mature and absolutely brilliant with his brother. DS is a normal wobbly toddler so does have falls and scrapes every now and then and it was nothing his brother did wrong. I was upstairs for 10 mins and in the same house! His brother gave him a cuddle and he was fine, I didn't even know it had happened until I came down as he wasn't upset for long.

AIBU to be annoyed by the comment and think it was OTT?

OP posts:
ChiefWiggumsBoy · 17/08/2022 10:15

YANBU to be irritated, it’s totally normal your other boy watching him for a few minutes. Just let it wash over you. There’s always someone ready to judge!

DrManhattan · 17/08/2022 10:20

Some 13 years old yes - fine to baby sit. Some 13 years old no way. She shouldn't have made a sweeping statement like that. Bad form.

Soontobe60 · 17/08/2022 10:34

I’m afraid I agree. 13 is too young to be responsible for a toddler. Nipping upstairs to get something, taking the rubbish out to the bins, playing in the garden whilst you’re watching through the kitchen window - all ok. But having a shower for 10 minutes on a different floor in the house is a stretch too far.
At that age, children can’t make logical, sensible decisions. A 13 yr old may well be kind and lovely, but they can’t risk assess the same as an adult.
I suggest that next time you need a shower, if you need to have one when the baby is up, bring them into the bathroom with you along with their favourite toy. (NOT the 13 yr old!!!)

Luredbyapomegranate · 17/08/2022 10:35

She’s just being a dope. I’d assume she doesn’t have kids.

SirChenjins · 17/08/2022 10:37

She's an idiot, and yes, completely OTT. As shown by the injury forms you've had to fill in, toddlers can have accidents even when being watched by professional childcare staff. Ignore her.

WaltzingWaters · 17/08/2022 10:38

I was babysitting other people’s kids in their homes by ages 14! YANBU as long as as you said, he’s responsible enough.

Whattodoaboutworknow · 17/08/2022 10:39

What a fool. This could have happened in the care of anyone. I sent dc to nursery with a huge bruise on his head because he had a bad fall in my care, I felt terrible but these things happen.

Dirtylittleroses · 17/08/2022 10:39

To be fair the fact he was injured kind of proves her point. 🤷‍♀️

Whattodoaboutworknow · 17/08/2022 10:40

Dirtylittleroses · 17/08/2022 10:39

To be fair the fact he was injured kind of proves her point. 🤷‍♀️

Have you ever had a toddler 😂😂😂

BrutusMcDogface · 17/08/2022 10:41

Yanbu! My 12 year old is amazing with her little brother. Ignore.

Fruitteatime · 17/08/2022 10:42

My then 6.5 year old would play with her younger brother whilst is showered in the school holidays. All on one floor but no way would my toddler have wanted to stay in the bathroom whilst I showered, infact it would probably have been more dangerous because he would have climbed up on the toilet and tried to open the door. Something like that could just have easily happened on your watch, you can't and shouldn't stay within one step of your child at all times, they do learn to be careful! As long as obvious dangers are hidden away (knives etc) we can't remove all hard floors or furniture Hmm

Toddlerteaplease · 17/08/2022 10:42

Of course a 13 year old can supervise a toddler for ten minutes. Particularly if you know they have a lovely relationship, his brother wasn't ignoring him. He was playing with him.

Peashoots · 17/08/2022 10:42

Dirtylittleroses · 17/08/2022 10:39

To be fair the fact he was injured kind of proves her point. 🤷‍♀️

Oh fgs 🙄 my kids had similar injuries on my watch. Toddlers fall, have bumps and scrapes. It’s no big deal.
OP I agree. Your typical 13 year old is quite capable of watching a toddler for ten mins, she was being very dramatic.

SirChenjins · 17/08/2022 10:42

Dirtylittleroses · 17/08/2022 10:39

To be fair the fact he was injured kind of proves her point. 🤷‍♀️

Toddlers get small bumps at nurseries. What point does that make?

swanfake · 17/08/2022 10:45

Could have happened with anyone babysitting. You can't hover over them 100% of the time. 13 is plenty old enough to watch a toddler whilst you have a quick shower.
Ridiculous thing for her to say.

The fact they have forms for you to fill out in case something happens at the nursery shows injuries happen in their care too.

Jojoanna · 17/08/2022 10:46

YANBU my toddler DGD had an a nasty accident at nursery when she was being watched by adults , accidents happen ignore

esteemsports · 17/08/2022 10:48

YANBU he was not solely responsible, you were in the house and available (if wet). Toddlers bump themselves, responsible siblings help out, this is family life.

endofline · 17/08/2022 10:48

Dirtylittleroses · 17/08/2022 10:39

To be fair the fact he was injured kind of proves her point. 🤷‍♀️

Oh don’t be ridiculous. That conclusion means every mother and father who has ever existed is also not fit to watch their children, as every child has bumps and accidents in their parent’s care.

Robyn188 · 17/08/2022 10:53

YANBU. I'm sure many 13 y/o can oversee a toddler for this short time period! I helped take care of my younger brother at this age and younger. Also, it's totally down to you to make that judgement as to whether he is okay to do this, not her. I would be annoyed also.

londonlass71 · 17/08/2022 10:58

She shouldn't have commented. Having run nurseries before I would be really pissed off if a member of staff did that. She should take the details down and that's it. If there are concerns then they should have a safeguarding policy and followed that. Not made a comment.

Georgeskitchen · 17/08/2022 11:00

Yanbu plenty of 13 year olds can make sensible logical decisions. At the age of 12 I was trusted to look after my 6 year old and 12 month old sisters for 2 or 3 hours. I loved doing it and felt grown up and responsible

HangOnToYourself · 17/08/2022 11:10

Soontobe60 · 17/08/2022 10:34

I’m afraid I agree. 13 is too young to be responsible for a toddler. Nipping upstairs to get something, taking the rubbish out to the bins, playing in the garden whilst you’re watching through the kitchen window - all ok. But having a shower for 10 minutes on a different floor in the house is a stretch too far.
At that age, children can’t make logical, sensible decisions. A 13 yr old may well be kind and lovely, but they can’t risk assess the same as an adult.
I suggest that next time you need a shower, if you need to have one when the baby is up, bring them into the bathroom with you along with their favourite toy. (NOT the 13 yr old!!!)

Utter shite

Mariposista · 17/08/2022 11:10

Fgs. This could have happened while they were playing together even with you in the room! What are you supposed to do? Take the kid to the shower with you? (I bet some velcro parents would say yes 🤣) you did nothing wrong here OP, ignore.

cafedesreves · 17/08/2022 11:11

Ridiculously precious.

cafedesreves · 17/08/2022 11:12

The nursery worker that is!