To be annoyed with what this nursery worker said?

[Bubbleapop]

DS is 18 months old and goes to nursery. He had a little bump at the weekend (nothing major, just a little bump just above his eyebrow and a small mark). We had to fill in an existing injury form when he went to nursery as we've done a couple of times when he's had the odd scratch/bruise.

Anyway, when they asked how it had happened, I that I was taking a shower and his brother (12, 13 in a month, he's my step son not that it matters) was watching him for 10 mins and he'd fallen when they were playing. She replied almost aghast that his brother had watched him and said it was "far too young to be responsible for a baby!!"

He's nearly 13 and is very mature and absolutely brilliant with his brother. DS is a normal wobbly toddler so does have falls and scrapes every now and then and it was nothing his brother did wrong. I was upstairs for 10 mins and in the same house! His brother gave him a cuddle and he was fine, I didn't even know it had happened until I came down as he wasn't upset for long.

AIBU to be annoyed by the comment and think it was OTT?

I don't think a 12 year old should have had that responsibility, with no adults around

The child is a toddler of 18 months. By that age mine could walk and run and jump etc. my eldest was an absconder and would bolt at a moments notice. I could have put my 18 mth olds in the bathroom with all the most wonderful toys they had but they’d have been out like a shot, or trying to get into shower with me, or climbing on the loo🤣🤣🤷🏼‍♀️
Really, some people seem to make very odd risk assessments regarding children. And identifying where really the biggest risks are. Staying downstairs with a 13 year old , even a pretty naïve one, is way more safe than me trying to have a shower with a active toddler in the bathroom. 🤦‍♀️

I suggest that next time you need a shower, if you need to have one when the baby is up, bring them into the bathroom with you along with their favourite toy.

At 18 months, at least one of mine would have been in the toilet before I'd got my hair wet. 😂

My wee boy had to have a op after an accident at nursery. They can happen anywhere anytime with anyone. She shouldn't have said that

FFS. How absurd. Children get hurt right in front of their parents all the time.

Ok, this is standard MN take…so why not? What is it your 12 year old cannot do in an emergency that you could?
and if there are lots of things why aren’t you teaching them at a far younger age how to respond in an emergency? What is stopping you?

Where taught, kids of a very young age are capable of making some very good decisions and taking actions when emergencies arise. There have been many cases of extremely young kids (3 year olds) calling 999 and being able to talk with emergency services to get help. By 12 year old any child has been through enough fire drills at school to know to leave a burning building taking the toddler in the same room with him and call 999 . And to call for mum urgently(upstairs taking a shower) if little sibling starts choking.

at age of 8 I was going to Red Cross group and learning how to do CPR, stop bleeding, resolve choking, it really isn’t rocket science to teach kids. My kids used to “help” me test fire alarms in the house from when they were toddlers, so they’d know the noise and we used it as a little lesson of what to do if they heard it and mummy or daddy didn’t come to them immediately e.g. checking escape route and getting out, going next door and asking neighbours to call 999. Yes, we’d make that age appropriate but kids are like sponges and they’d have no difficultly remembering it. From 3 they knew their full name and mine and daddies. By 4 they could remember and say clearly their address. By 5ish they knew the home phone number

what is it about your kids that you don’t think they could cope?

DD1 fell over and cut her face falling up steps when she was a baby and the childminder was watching her - she was a very experienced childminder and nanny for many years before that and a mum of three herself and this can happen to anyone, she was mortified but I said it could easily have happened when I was watching DD1.

YANBU, the comment from the nursery worker was overly judgemental. Next time don't give so much information. I'd have just said he fell over while playing at home and would not have given details about who was watching them at the time.

Why not? What is the problem of giving kids responsibility?

I always thought it is how you build confidence and self reliance? Isn’t that a good part of what parenting is about?

Jeez, I was looking after my cousin for most of the day from when he was about 12 months and I was 12

Seconded utter shite

And it's not true that OP was not there, she was just having a shower! Any emergency and she'd have been out with a dressing gown wrapped round her in 30 seconds.

Ridiculous over reaction by nursery worker.

Gordon Bennett.

How do you think families used to manage, before nurseries were a common thing, @Soontobe60?

At 12, I was capable of looking after a yard full of horses, a pack of dogs. & dealing with whatever clients needed when they came in. A 13 year old is perfectly capable of keeping an eye on 1 small person for 10 minutes.

Obviously you are passed at her comment as she was actually right???
Your toddler got injured whilst your 12 yo was "looking after him"

Who puts a 12 yo in charge of a toddler
A teenager. And it's not even his full subling so uh. There couldbe some 'issues' there.

Dont ask your step child (or any other young child) to look after an 18mo

Another pile of utter shite.

And your fascinating theory on why toddlers sustain small bumps when adults and childcare professionals are looking after them would be....?

And it's not even his full subling so uh

There's no half in our house. He's his brother. No 'uh' about it! How vile.

Wow. You are horrid. I hope you don't have any children or stepchildren with that sort of vile input.

What a daft thing to say.

Toddlers fall over and get bumps in nurseries whilst being minded by professional child carers… toddlers fall over and get bumps. It’s part of being a toddler

Oh my.
Please don't tell us you're a childminder.

Don't be so ridiculous. He's the kid's brother, not Jon bloody Venables.

Are you serious? I used to babysit my cousins when I was younger than 13. They’ve both survived into adulthood.

What would you say about a 13 year old girl who got preg and became a mother? Still not old enough?
You have to be reasonable, both my children at 13 would have been responsible enough to watch a toddler in the same house as myself for 10 mins, some wouldn't trust their 13 year olds, luckily I didn't have any kids after my two to worry about.

I'm not being funny but how did you have a shower when you had babies? My kids were put in their rooms on their own, in a cot with a closed stairgate. But still unsupervised. I'd argue its safer to leave them with a teenager.

Your Comment reminded me of myself there, at 13 I was in charge of 'The Bar's (a tuck shop) at our youth club, I had to be in charge of cash, yes actual physical money and a boiler, yes really really hot water ... Should that have been illegal for a 13 year old? 🤣

I would calmly discuss this with a senior figure at the nursery and ask them to explain to any inexperienced employees that in normal family life it is perfectly acceptable and safe for a sibling of that age to watch a toddler for a while, while the parent is in the same building, out of sight in the bathroom, or cooking dinner or washing the car.

If their employee has less judgement, common sense and maturity than a 12 yr old, you're concerned if this worker is really fit to be alone in a room with your baby.