August babies shouldn't be allowed to move down a year

[SapphosRock]

My DD has a late August birthday, she is 6 nearly 7 and about to go into Year 3.

A friend in her class (let's call her Lucy) has an early August birthday but was allowed to move down a year. She is already 8.

No special needs, her mum just decided she would prefer her DD to be the oldest in the class rather than one of the youngest.

This has impacted my DD in a few ways. She is good at sports but being the youngest means she doesn't often win. On Sports Day Lucy came first in the year 2 running race. My DD came 4th so missed out on a medal.

Lucy had a sleepover for her 8th birthday and invited the girls in DD's class. Most went but I didn't think DD was ready for a sleepover as she's still only 6 so she missed out on a fun party.

Lucy got the biggest speaking part in the Christmas play as she is the most confident and articulate.

AIBU and precious to think Lucy should have been kept in the correct year group?

You have no idea about Lucy’s development.

In particular where she was at when the decision was made.

Why should Lucy have been disadvantaged just because you have a bee in your bonnet about a running race that your daughter didn’t get a medal in?

We're really comparing professional sport with year 2 running races now?

Jade O'Dowda is currently fourth overall in the heptathlon at the European Championships in Munich. Google tells me she is a September birthday. I'm sure her mum must be wondering where it all changed, eh?

It's funny many of those accusing you of being unreasonable are the first to froth when a biological man enters a woman's sport and has an 'advantage'

That could not be less comparable to this situation.

It's funny many of those accusing you of being unreasonable are the first to froth when a biological man enters a woman's sport and has an 'advantage'

You're comparing the height, strength and endurance advantages of going through male liberty with a 13 month difference in age?

I'm comparing the hypocrisy

The difference between a 6 year old and an 8 year old is vast in terms of development and ability. As others have mentioned the upper limit could mean that there is a 17 month difference between oldest and youngest in the year.

It's not fair on the other children to have an older child in the class. They will typically be more able in every way shape and form.

Careful @CheeseyToasts I made the same point earlier in the thread and got ranting accusations that I was a trans extremist 🤣 Apparently only someone who is all in favour of biological males in women’s sport would point out the double standard 🙄

The difference between a 6 year old and an 8 year old is vast in terms of development and ability.

Theres 13 months difference between these children, which is only 1 month beyond the normal age bracket.

And really, how do you think the school should organise sports day?

Do they go through their whole school life a year "behind" or do they have to catch up at some point?

For my deferred November born DD, she went through her whole school life a year behind, was always treated as if she was a full year younger than she really was.

She'll be 21 this year & it hasn't done her any harm - she has now caught up & there isn't any real difference in her social, emotional & educational maturity when compared with her friends from school who are younger than she is, her friends from college some of whom are a bit older or her sister who is almost 2 years older.

Some People are really loosing a sense of perspective.if Lucy was born in August at the most shell probably only be 1-6 weeks older than the next oldest child. We’re talking a matter of weeks! If you feel that few weeks makes such a massive difference then surely you can understand why Lucy’s mother chose for her to have a whole extra year before starting school.

the assumption that people choose to defer so their child is the brightest, fastest etc is also weird. I don’t know about anyone else but I make choices for my child based on what is best for them, not because I want them to have an advantage over others.

lastly- most schools have a very minute number of children that defer. My child’s school of 190ish has 2 children who are deferred. I don’t think anyone is moving baselines or expecting more of the other 188ish children because those 2 children are a few weeks older than the next in their class.

The child born on 1st March will be the oldest child in the class. That child will aged 5.5 years. (they would start school aged 6.5 if they were allowed to defer)

A January or February born child will be the very youngest aged just over 4.5 if they don't defer and just over 5.5 if they do.

If you didn't know Lucy was deferred a year, would this even be an issue?

For example, my husband was 6ft in year 7. Taller than most of the boys in the WHOLE SCHOOL. And, gifted at most sports. Because of this he's always been very self confident. He would have probably had a pretty good career as a footballer until he broke his ankle. He also has a photographic memory so sailed through school. He's a June born, second born.

Now, say he was my son and not my husband, and he was in the same year as a boy who was deferred. In terms of your sports day, how would that deferred child impact my 'son', who is taller, faster and perfectly capable of winning against children actually 24+ months older let alone one 15 months older?

In school there will be a huge variance of ability and height and maturity. There will be children who have had a full and happy and supported childhood, and those not so much.
A child's ability to flourish as an individual is about so much more than a child's actual birthdate. Maybe your child got a better result on a spelling test? Or a geography exam? Focusing purely on two examples comparing just these two children (as we haven't mentioned there may well have been 30+ children taking part in the sports day) is skewed.

And as for the sleepover, it really doesn't make sense that you begrudge a party being held 21 or whatever days earlier than September 1st where (had Lucy been born on that date) she would be in exactly the same position as she is now but, on paper, in her correct school cohort.

You would need to ask the pre school directly it's up to them. Tell them you are sending your child to school at compulsory school age, age 5. Advice on the application process is via the FB group Flexible admissions for summerborn children.

That's a good point actually. Sex and age will both start to be very noticeable in puberty.

In year 6 sports day there could easily be 12 year old boys going through puberty and competing against 10 year old girls.

But it won't be 10 year olds against 12 year olds. You are still suggesting a 2 year age difference, it's not it's slightly over a year. I really hope Lucy's parents read this post.

Here kids are divided by sex for sports well before puberty; around age 8. Do you all still have mixed-sex sports teams at age 12?

Not Lucy, but these new rules mean that there can be 16 months and 30 days between the eldest and the youngest. This is a massive age difference.

Aren’t boys and girls usually separated by sex for sports day? It would be unfair to have boys and girls competing against each other whatever their ages.

Aren’t boys and girls usually separated by sex for sports day? It would be unfair to have boys and girls competing against each other whatever their ages.

In DD's school they're not separated. She will be competing against boys and girls until year 6.

(They are separating for changing from year 3)

I do agree the sentiment on this thread is strange.

Male child identifies as a girl and plays sports with the girls at school = outrageous and unfair

Two kids aged 17 months apart competing at school sport = absolutely fine and fair

Like I've said before at in teams sports competing they have to compete on the correct age range. You are seeing problems before they happen. I've never heard of a child who identified as the other sex playing sport against the other sex in my kids high school. Lucy is 13 months older than your child not 17, and by high school they won't be competing against each other anyway.

This thread is bonkers. The child is weeks older than the eldest in the class, not years.

beyond primary school competitive sports are sorted by age, not year groups. My DS1 had to change football teams earlier than his friend for that reason.

Conflating a child who was moved down a year with the trans issue is just madness.

In year 6 sports day there could easily be 12 year old boys going through puberty and competing against 10 year old girls.

This thread really has gone crazy!

If it was just about wanting the child to be the eldest then all of the kids who could be deferred would be, but they’re not.

Because it’s not about that. It’s about kids being ready for school or not being ready.

Same as in Scotland there’s the process the other way - for parents whose child just misses out but they feel they really are ready.

It’s about what’s best for an individual child. There’s never going to be entire swathes of parents deferring. It just doesn’t happen because it’s not needed.

Conflating a child who was moved down a year with the trans issue is just madness.

Only on mumsnet could a discussion about school starting ages turn into a trans debate. Absolutely bonkers.

If this issue causes you this much worry (about this non issue which does not affect you anyway) then you are in for a huge shock when your kid starts high school.