August babies shouldn't be allowed to move down a year

[SapphosRock]

My DD has a late August birthday, she is 6 nearly 7 and about to go into Year 3.

A friend in her class (let's call her Lucy) has an early August birthday but was allowed to move down a year. She is already 8.

No special needs, her mum just decided she would prefer her DD to be the oldest in the class rather than one of the youngest.

This has impacted my DD in a few ways. She is good at sports but being the youngest means she doesn't often win. On Sports Day Lucy came first in the year 2 running race. My DD came 4th so missed out on a medal.

Lucy had a sleepover for her 8th birthday and invited the girls in DD's class. Most went but I didn't think DD was ready for a sleepover as she's still only 6 so she missed out on a fun party.

Lucy got the biggest speaking part in the Christmas play as she is the most confident and articulate.

AIBU and precious to think Lucy should have been kept in the correct year group?

This is possibly the most idiotic thread I’ve read on Mumsnet and that’s saying something.
I was born mid august, it NEVER held me back, I was one of the top performers in my year. It’s nonsense to suggest August born children are slower or less able because they’re younger than some of their class.
You're mollycoddling your daughter. If she’s less capable it’s nothing to do with being a few months younger!

*is almost 8

I don't think under 8s should be competing in an under 7s sports competition. Where does it stop? Under 16/15?

The rest seems fine to me.

That's simply not true though. Summer born children do, on average, fare less well at school.

Jellycatspyjamas do you not find most children are deferred though? Where we are it’s highly unusual not to defer.

Yes where I am it’s usual to defer, there’s a couple of January/February norms in my DS’s year group who started at 4.5 but it’s much more common in my experience for them to defer. I think in practice most parents assume they’ll go the following year unless there’s a good reason to send them in their “official” cohort. I think it’s a good thing, there can be significant differences in maturity between 4.5 and 5.5.

In fairness I think just turned 4 is far too early for a child to be in school, I’m surprised more parents don’t defer rather than send their barely 4 year into formal education.

It isn't an under 7s sports competition. It's a year 2 or 3 whatever sports day race

I don't think under 8s should be competing in an under 7s sports competition

Its not an under 7s sports competition though, it's a year 2 sports competition. Where else is she supposed to compete if not with her class?

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My August baby suffered throughout her primary and secondary education. She struggled to keep up, had special in class support for English & Maths which made her feel embarrassed, however she kept trying. She did her GCSEs, didn't do brilliantly but went on to college. There she blossomed, got both her English and Maths GCSEs at Level 4, progressed on to A level equivalent course and was top in the college. She's today earned the equivalent of AA&B in her course and will be at university next month. But, had she been allowed to start school a year later she may not have struggled to get where she now is. I'd always back July/August children staying back a year.

Well exactly, but this is the problem you're going to have if you have children moving down. At some point this will he for county/national championship qualifiers or to represent school teams. Will that still be OK?

You mean the English system. In Scotland, children start at age 5.

The sports thing is IMHO a bit of a pointless argument. In any kindof competitive sport eg gymnastics/football/dancing/cheer the competitive age groups are quite broad anyway (often more than a year) and kids compete according to their ability as much as their age. Eg in my dd's cheerleading club there's a couple og 6 year olds who are competing with a group made more of 8/9 YO's because that's their ability level. It's nice to win but most kids at some point do have to learn that however good they think they are there's usually somebody better than you out there waiting to nip at your heels. Teaching them to run their own race and focus on the pretty amazing acheivement of being 4th best out of 30 kids rather than pout because they marginally missed out on a medal is probably a better lesson tbh

I think sports is a good example as it illustrates the unfairness,

Of course a girl 13 months older than my DD will be taller, stronger and faster so when they compete with one another in sports my DD will lose.

As a consequence My DD doesn't believe she is good at sport. Who knows how this will affect her future self esteem or participation in sports?

And yes I know this would happen anyway with a child 12 months older but why should it be made worse?

At some point this will he for county/national championship qualifiers

Not from school sports days, no. County/national level is all aged based.

As for school teams, rules will be standardised across area, but sports day won't be directly relevant

Well exactly, but this is the problem you're going to have if you have children moving down. At some point this will he for county/national championship qualifiers or to represent school teams. Will that still be OK?

Yes it certainly will be OK. There's a huge difference between sports day races with your classmates and competing at county or national level. Competing with classmates will include racehorses and donkeys and everything in between. Competing with other children who have been deemed capable of competing at county level will involve only the racehorses, so age groups will necessarily be tighter.

Schools are of course free to run their internal sports days year by year – it's probably impractical to do it any other way.

But this will not be allowed at sporting clubs outside school. Well it might be at 7-8 years old, but it won't by around 11-12, they will have to play in their age group not in their school year group.

Eg in my dd's cheerleading club there's a couple og 6 year olds who are competing with a group made more of 8/9 YO's because that's their ability level.

Can you really not see the difference between a DC playing above their year group because they are talented and a DC playing below their group purely to take advantage of their additional physical maturity?

This is possibly the most idiotic thread I’ve read on Mumsnet and that’s saying something. I was born mid august, it NEVER held me back, I was one of the top performers in my year. It’s nonsense to suggest August born children are slower or less able because they’re younger than some of their class.

Well let’s throw out all the research that has been published that shows how summer borns suffer academically, socially and emotionally because you managed fine, therefore everyone should too.

Do you really think there would be Government guidelines surrounding CSA starts if the theory/research behind summer borns struggles was rubbish and idiotic?

Not true for everyone. My son's friend is 10 months older but has always been at least a foot shorter tha him with slimmer build.

There's no "of course" about it. My daughter is born in May and we started her in reception aged 5 because she clearly wasn't ready for school aged 4. She is not the fastest or the cleverest or the most confident because she is the oldest, she just gets along ok. But she is taking up less of the teaching staff's time than she would have done had we started aged 4, because being older than she would have been (emphasis - not older than the rest of the children) she is better at dealing with the stresses of school. My son is born in September and is one of the oldest in the class. He is also one of the smallest and isn't achieving "expected" in a single subject. You need to let go of this idea that being the oldest is an advantage or that parents start aged 5 to provide their children with an advantage. We do it because they are too young at 4, end of story.

As a consequence My DD doesn't believe she is good at sport. Who knows how this will affect her future self esteem or participation in sports

God you’re so dramatic.

Your daughter came 4th out of a class of how many?? And that’s her response?

What about all the other children who didn’t come 1st, 2nd and 3rd? Are all 20+ of them now doubting their abilities and thinking they’re rubbish to the point where their parents are now concerned about the long term effects on their 6 year old child’s self esteem and attitude towards support?!

Seriously?!

If the above was your daughters response to coming 4th in a race then perhaps you need to work on her resilience and stop fretting about children like Lucy.

In fact, maybe you should focus on bigging up your daughter on how amazing it is that she came 4th and it’s something to be really proud of. Just like all the other parents of the children who didn’t achieve the 1/2/3 place no doubt have.

Im pretty sure that Lucy being one month older than your daughter is not responsible for your daughter coming fourth in the race.

What about the other two children who came ahead of your daughter? What reason do you have for them being faster?

In high school they have to play in their correct year groups for teams, competitions etc. They also have to play in correct year groups for sport outside of school. Sports days at my child's high school have sports days for 2 year groups so it's irrelevent anyway. Sport day at primary is a fun day not a team sport.

The problem is parents who defer their child because don't want to have a disadvantageous age gap will ALWAYS be creating a bigger age gap between their DC and the youngest child in the class they move into.

1st April birthday would have the disadvantage of a maximum 7 month age gap in correct cohort, defers a year and gains the advantage of a maximum 17 month gap.

Plus - my son is starting Reception this year and even though he will be the oldest in the class he’s definitely one of the smallest too.

My older son who is 8, started school with his age-appropriate cohort and he’s also one of the smallest in the class.

A child’s age, when talking of age gaps of 13 months, has no bearing on a child’s physical size and/or strength.

As a consequence My DD doesn't believe she is good at sport. Who knows how this will affect her future self esteem or participation in sports

She came fourth and so she thinks she's no good at sports, which might dent her self-esteem.

Had she come third, she'd think she was good at sports and she'd be full of self-confidence.

Nah.

If you come fourth and your mum tells you that you did brilliantly, that fills you with self-confidence.

If you come third and your mum clearly feels you should have done better, that dents your self-esteem.