August babies shouldn't be allowed to move down a year

[SapphosRock]

My DD has a late August birthday, she is 6 nearly 7 and about to go into Year 3.

A friend in her class (let's call her Lucy) has an early August birthday but was allowed to move down a year. She is already 8.

No special needs, her mum just decided she would prefer her DD to be the oldest in the class rather than one of the youngest.

This has impacted my DD in a few ways. She is good at sports but being the youngest means she doesn't often win. On Sports Day Lucy came first in the year 2 running race. My DD came 4th so missed out on a medal.

Lucy had a sleepover for her 8th birthday and invited the girls in DD's class. Most went but I didn't think DD was ready for a sleepover as she's still only 6 so she missed out on a fun party.

Lucy got the biggest speaking part in the Christmas play as she is the most confident and articulate.

AIBU and precious to think Lucy should have been kept in the correct year group?

Firstly, please can people stop saying “kept down” “held back” etc. Compulsory school age in England is 5, meaning children don’t legally need to start school until the term after they turn 5, which for children born after Easter, is September! so why we went down the path of starting after Easter born at school two terms EARLY I’ll never know.
I have an august born who started school AT compulsory school age because it was what was right for him and I didn’t want him to play catch up all his school life. I would also prefer him to be the older in his friends circle, than the youngest. He is absolutely where he should be. To the OP saying her child missed out on a sleepover because of the previous year August born child daring to have one, what if it was a September born friend, their birthdays could only be a matter of days difference between them? An example of why I’d rather mine was older in the year than younger, so they don’t get left out not being “mature” enough or age appropriate enough (cinema, driving, clubbing later down the line)
I also have a late April child who started in the subscribed cohort as I knew no different at the time. Having said that, he has always been top of that class so to have deferred him, would have been detrimental.
with regards football, summer born parents can apply to the FA for dispensation to play in the adopted cohort, lots of clubs aren’t aware but it’s definitely possible and acceptable. Secondary schools will be likely to keep them in their adopted cohorts as it will be in the best interest of the children to do so rather than move them.

*cite

How do you know that this child hasn’t got a disability? They come in lots of different forms. Schools don’t freely let children go into a lower year group and there needs to be strong justifications for deferrals to be agreed, often with back up from a child’s nursery or professionals. Sports may be this child’s strength and you have the option to opt out of the sleepover. Sometimes children defer as they have had a very disrupted start to life. I think everyone should be careful not to judge whilst not having all of the circumstances. As a parent who has chosen to defer my son has had an awful start to life but if you looked at him he wouldn’t look out of place in reception however every professional that works with him has said he should be deterred. He has had 5 surgeries and has open heart surgery coming up. He hasn’t got much in way of learning needs but has missed lots of socialising with children and is immature in terms of his emotions. Having been in the position of the other mother smile and tell her how great her daughter is at sports, she probably really needs to hear that.

Actually this appears wrong, the wording from the FA is
WHAT IS THE DISPENSATION POLICY?
The Policy enables children with a disability, Significant Physical Development Delay (SPDD), or who are schooled no more than one year behind the age group prescribed by their date of birth (their “prescribed age group”) to play football outside of their prescribed age group.

so parental choice is valid

I am glad you re not in our class! My May born started at 5.3 in reception and is doing brilliant going into y4! You had the choice and you did not do it. How is that the other child/parents fault? Those parents did the best for their child. And FYI cut off for requesting a Compulsory School Age start is 1st of April. So anyone born between 1st April and 31ST Aug can actually start in Reception a year later. It is the best thing I could have done for my son, he is confident, mature, enjoys school and his attitude is excellent. Wish I could have sent my Nov born a year later. Those months do make a difference and at the end of the day we want what is best for our kids. Sorry it annoys you!

Oh dear will it always be someone else's fault that your daughter didn't come top/do the best or are you just bitter you didn't research your daughter's future like Lucy's mum did?

A deferred child will literally have the same amount of full time schooling as the younger children in their class. They don't automatically know Y2 work because they would be in Y2 if not deferred, for instance - they need to be taught it.

Sports Day success is down to individuals. I remember it being a June born child who was the most athletic girl in my year.

Ditto confidence - I was the May-born child who was always chosen as narrator (and would much rather have had an interesting part)

I don't know if it's already been asked, but if a September born girl has a sleepover for her birthday next month, will you allow your DD to go to that one? Because she'll only be a few weeks older. Yes, she was still "only" 6 for this one, but she was very nearly 7, which I'd count as being as good as.

In all honesty, if it wasn't "Lucy" it could be someone else with regards to winning and getting the best parts,that's just life.

I personally don't think you should be able to hold kids back, they should move the age of starting school until later. It should be all kids start term after "6"

WTAF? That’s the most ridiculous, uneducated comment to make. Good grief!

I have an end of Aug son.. bright and confident with no delays but all the research pointed to him being at a disadvantage... I arranged for him to start the following year instead and it's been the best thing! Emotionally, physically and academically he was ready and it's only looking at it now that he has finished reception that I realise how he would have struggled being a whole year younger and would have had a very different year to the happy year he had where he was ready for everything he faced.. it's an option for most parents - I don't see why more people don't do it.. best thing I could have done for him ..

Sounds like a spot of jealousy to me. What about the September born children in her year these children would be just as advanced 🤦

I get what you mean, my son is an august baby, he was just turning three when starting nursery in school, seemed everyone else’s child was turning 4 not soon after.

I chose to keep him in his normal year (I’ll be honest I didn’t even think it was an option to keep them back a year? My sons school always explained there has to be a cut off and unfortunately it meant my son had to stay in his year?) so I was unaware you could even do this!

looking back if I had the option to keep him in his current year OR keep him behind a year. I would have still chosen him to stay in this year. Don’t get me wrong he struggles with his reading, writing and his maths too! He is now being supported on a Idl system for year 3 (I hope) when he goes back, I naturally sit with him at home to help him as much as I can to.

I see it as the school would have advised me if they felt him being born in august was going to negatively effect his education, I assume they would have automatically moved him down a year if he was in need of it. They haven’t, he’s making steady progress, he tries hard and yes he daydreams sometimes! But he’s the youngest in his year and I do believe as they move up in school things naturally just click into place, I’ve known people with august babies and there in the correct year and they are top of the class! Sometimes it’s just a matter of patience.. every child is different no matter of birthdays.

if I was you OP I would just focus on your child, don’t focus on “Lucy” she may well be top of everything now but there’s no reason your child may not end up top of everything to! Have some patience, enjoy your time with your child, if there’s sleepovers let her go! It all helps her develop. Not to mention Lucy could potentially help her and teach her things without even realising?

as for sports days my son has always come 2nd the odd time & 3rd but I’m proud that he gave it a go! I always say to him it’s the taking part and trying that counts, not the winning!

Sounds like you didn’t bother to look into what the law is around CSA and what may have been best for your child and now are so consumed with guilt over it that you’re jealous and overly competitive. Every child has the right to start school at CSA and it just so happens that CSA for summerborns is the next school year. All children are different and what works for one doesn’t for another. Just because the child is the oldest doesn’t automatically make them, bigger, smarter and better at sports. Our June born started reception aged 5yrs 3 months and was average height in that year group, in the middle band academically, same maturity as the average aged kids in his year and not sporty in the slightest. He needed an extra year at preschool so he could mature at his own pace and not be pushed to do things he wasn’t ready for. And no, we aren’t middle class, and he just used the 30hours funding every child gets.

My DD has a late August birthday and is a year older than your DD.
There's also the same scenario in her class in that there's a boy who's parents kept him back a year as he also has an August birthday. He's therefore a year older than my DD.
I don't think the rules should be changed though and I think it's for parents to decide whether their child should be kept back a year in these cases.
In any case, my DD's best friend at school is born early September so is also nearly a year older than her anyway.

How do you know that this child hasn’t got a disability? They come in lots of different forms. Schools don’t freely let children go into a lower year group and there needs to be strong justifications for deferrals to be agreed, often with back up from a child’s nursery or professionals.

Being summer born alone is reason enough, there do not have to be any mitigating reasons or strong justifications.

My child is neuro-typical, doesn’t have any educational or behavioural needs and will still start Reception a week after his 5th birthday.

When I made my decision to defer his start all I did was ring two schools, spoke to the headteachers to check it was something they would accommodate (some schools wrongly try and admit the deferred child straight into Year 1) and both head teachers said my son starting Reception just after his 5th birthday wasn’t a problem.

And that was all it took.

There is so much research out there now that details how difficult summer borns can find starting school at just turned 4 years (educationally, socially and emotionally) and the long term effects of this, that it’s no longer such a hurdle to get school to accept summer borns at CSA.

At the end of the day there wouldn’t be government polices on the matter if it wasn’t widely recognised that there are significant reasons for allowing summer borns to start at 5 years old and not 4.

We are deferring our late August born this year. She has no special needs but is very shy and has tendencies towards anxiety. We are certain that another year of play will work wonders for her confidence for the rest of her education and life.
We have the legal and moral right and responsibility to do the best thing for her, and with all the pressures children face, and with the explosion in mental health issues in children and adults, why would any parent not do what is right for their child?
She will be literally days older than some of her peers. She will in no way disadvantage any other child in her class to be, at least no more so than any child born on or just after September 1st the same she would have been had she been slightly later arriving.

For any parent, including OP, who is bitter that Lucy or any deferred summerborn performs better at sports day, I suggest they look at the evidence how most professional athletes are autumn born's. That statistically these children have an age advantage over normal cohort summerborns as they are 12 months older, in all areas, the EXACT justification for the summerborn policy. Not every summerborn child will be affected, just the same that not all autumn born's will excel. It's for the parents to make the best decision for their own child according to their legal rights

I have kids with November, January & February birthdays. I deferred November & February but not January has worked out well for them.

OP my decisions were based on the needs of my child - can't say I gave any thought whatsoever to any other child, I'm sure Lucy's parents took the same attitude to their decision.

Well, presumably 27 kids out of 30 are also missing out, so it's not that unusual.

This was my DD - she was a full 15 months older than the youngest child in her class who incidentally is still one of her best friends 15 years after meeting first day in primary one.

DD's boyfriend of almost 6 years is 10 days shy of a full year younger than her but they were in the same year at high school.

No one cares, it's really not that big a deal.

Your daughter is not expected to work at the level of someone 13m older than them. This girl is not magically ahead just because she's older. She's had the same amount of schooling. And most of the time the oldest child is not the fastest or gets the best part in the play.

My eldest turned 4 just two months before starting school. With lockdowns he managed 2 terms at nursery before starting school and has had an incredibly rocky start to school. He'll be going into year 1 next month and he's not ready for the amount of sit down learning he will be asked to do. A September born child would usually have 5 terms at nursery before school, a summer born has 3.
I would have much preferred for him to start reception this year, he'd have found it much better. The option to start at compulsory school age is given to help those summer born children who are not ready to start just after turning 4. I know some children are and that's brilliant.
But you'd rather my childs education suffered affecting his employment opportunities so your daughter could win a race? Yes I think you're being incredibly unreasonable!

I am that parent who placed there daughter out of the normal age group, my daughter is late August born, we had our reasons and it's nobody else's business, it shouldn't be yours, 4 is to young to go to school anyway, it looks like you didn't get the correct information so wasn't aware this is possible, shouldn't blame the parents to decide this

I'm not a teacher so happy to be corrected with this but... my understanding of the modern EYFS curriculum is incredibly broad and about much more than just academic ability. It's about equipping kids with the tools for a lifelong ability to learn and socialise. Starting reception is a big deal of course but it's really just an extension of this. A good preschool and reception should be focussing on an individual's stage of development and working towards the next step regardless of their age.

Not to brag but if it had just been about doing sums and reading then my dd would've been ready at 2.5 tbh. However, there's been other areas where she hasn't exactly struggled but has needed the input. For example she still is a teensy bit behind with her speech particularly pronounciation. She's also quite a shy child and has needed encouragement to speak up in group situations etc. Also, although she's pretty bright she'd still much prefer to be playing with friends in truly emersive play and resists formal teaching which I see as perfectly age appropriate. The great thing IMO about the EYFS system is that it's truly individualised. However, it does rely on the nursery/school being decent and actually recognising what the child needs.

One of the biggest predictors of future academic success is actually the standard of early years education and the interactions they experience in the baby/toddler years. With more and more families relying on formal childcare this is probably a much more important issue than a kid beating another in a race and one we should be fighting for....

@MrsRobinsonsHandprints what @WhereAreMyAirpods is saying is right - it isn't all that easy to defer in Scotland if your child doesn't have a Jan/Feb birthday.

February born DD was deferred with no questions asked (as a leapling it was practically expected she'd be deferred).

To defer my November born DD we had to get involvement from the educational psychologist, written reports & agreement from the nursery teacher, the headteacher and DD's health visitor.

Once we had all of this I had to attend a meeting with the educational psychologist, the nursery teacher, the headteacher and the education officer for our area before submitting an application for the additional years funding then a final meeting with the head of education at the LA.

I don't think it's quite as complex as all that these days but DD2 was the first non Jan/Feb birthday ever deferred in our LA never mind school so it was unknown territory for everyone involved - & I doubt it's become a regular occurrence since then.

When she eventually started school she was treated as if she was a full year younger than she actually was - in composite classes she'd be in with the younger kids for example because other than straightforward Jan/Feb birthdays there is usually a reason for the deferment it's not just willy nilly because parents want to have the oldest kid in the class.

Your focus on Lucy is really odd. You’re acting like Lucy is way way older, when in fact she’s probably only a few week older than the next oldest in her class.

I deferred my April and June born children because I wanted them to have longer at preschool and longer before school. It was my choice to make, I followed a process to get reception start at 5. I couldn’t give a shit what anyone else thinks about it because I did what was best for my child.

fYI my April born didn’t win one thing in his sports day.